On ne choisit pas sa famille Page #3

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- Now what?

It's the French doctor.

Good news. A doctor on hand

in such a country isn't a bad thing.

- I'll do the talking.

- Watch your tone.

Shut up!

Honey.

Yes, that's me.

Glad to meet you.

Dr. Luix lzkeban.

Mother Marie-Souye is ill.

She asked me to come.

Hello, Doctor. Sorry...

The damp heat makes my palms sweat.

Yet the airport is air-conditioned.

Right... It must be lovely outside.

lzkeban. Is that a Spanish name?

No relation. I'm Basque.

No relation?

It's still pretty close.

They run bulls on both sides.

The Basque Country

isn't just bullfights.

Where exactly are you from, Doctor?

I was born in Arcangues.

Wasn't Dario Moreno

from the same place?

That was Luis Mariano.

Mariano, Moreno... Kinda like

Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Even Tweedledum and Tweedledum,

if I may.

The car's outside.

Lead the way.

- He seems nice.

- Shut up.

We going straight to the orphanage?

Not until tomorrow.

A force 9 typhoon is still blowing.

Sh*t! How long are we gonna be

holed up here?

For as long as we have to, honey.

For tonight,

I've booked rooms in a fine hotel.

I'm sure you'll like it.

Mostly Japanese makes here.

What an eye.

Figures, for a pump attendant.

- Who is?

- You.

Who said so?

It's in the adoption file

Mother Superior showed me.

She's off her rocker!

Take it easy, Cesar.

It's my fault. I said mechanic,

and she wrote pump attendant.

Pump attendant, mechanic.

It's Tweedledee

and HumptyDo, as you say.

I'm not a mechanic either.

Why'd you say that?

Just what do you do in automobiles?

I'm the exclusive dealer

for Italian prestige cars

in Western Paris.

I wasn't far off.

You're a car salesman.

So I'm a car salesman.

Now I've heard it all!

It doesn't matter as long as

you're a good father to Maily.

The doctor's right.

That's what counts.

Anyway, attendants

are a thing of the past.

Now it's self-service

or credit cards.

Tell that to Marie-Stewya.

Marie-Souye.

I'll pass it on.

Wow!

Your pickup's had it.

Junkyard material.

Never. It was my wife's car.

She loved it

Forgive us, Doctor. We didn't know.

We had no idea.

Bags there. Climb in.

We didn't know what?

Shut up, I said.

- Move it, Cesar.

- Hang on a second.

Old, but this pickup makes tracks.

They sure knew how to build engines

back then.

Is it normal to be stuck so long?

That's Bangkok.

I'm curious by nature.

An observer. But this staggers me.

What does? The city's energy?

Me, too.

I meant the size of ears.

Whose ears?

People's.

Lots of them have huge ears.

Stop talking nonsense, Cesar.

He's joking, Doctor.

He's right.

It's something I've often noticed

but I can't explain.

Bangkok isn't Thailand.

The city's ruined by cars.

Plus certain Westerners

and their sexual abominations.

A sin and a shame.

Right, honey?

Basically,

it's still the land of the elephant.

That might explain the big ears.

We've said enough about ears.

And child trafficking, to boot.

They arrested a New Zealand couple,

supposedly married,

who came to adopt with fake papers.

That's awful. It's appalling.

What happened?

They got 25 years. In Pachay.

They don't play around.

They're child traffickers, sweetie.

They deserve it.

I'd have shot them.

- I think it's moving.

- Yep, it's moving.

Welcome.

Thank you, Sam.

What a classy place! Nice work, doc.

We're just crossing the lobby

to get to the pier.

Oh, yeah?

No tourist trap for you.

- Too bad.

- I prefer.

International palace hotels

depress me.

Never mind the rates.

So what? My sister's paying.

She is? Do you have money problems?

Not at all! It's just because...

- Excuse me.

- It's me, sweetheart.

Who is it?

- I'll catch up with you.

- Okay.

Actually, my sister...

I lent my sister money.

In her line she can't pay back

in cash, so she said,

"Treat the kid to a luxury hotel,

it's on me."

Word for word.

What's your sister do?

Lawyer in a huge firm.

Getting cash out of that loony bin

is touch and go-go.

- Touch and go-go?

- You bet.

Your brother's a prize schmuck.

- Where is he now?

- Driving the doctor nuts.

- A Thai?

- No, French. A sort of bush doctor.

- Tush?

- Not tush. "Bush" with a

Why'd he come to meet you?

- No idea.

- He suspicious?

Not at all! Luckily.

He must think I'm married to a jerk.

That's all.

Wait while I watch

his next screw-up.

He's getting in a boat,

I bet he'll fall in.

Nope, not him. His bag.

- Drop it.

- No way!

It's got all my Lacoste shirts

and my Lancia suede jacket!

I'll pay if he dives for it.

For $10 he'd swim across the river.

Hand me your sandwich.

I don't want his sandwich.

Throw it in the water. You'll see.

Throw it in, I said.

What's it got to do with my bag?

Holy cow! How gross!

- It's teeming with them.

- Catfish.

They're sacred.

The river's full of them.

Below are man-sized monitor lizards.

Your bag's already history.

What's going on?

You lose something, sweetie?

Lizards ate my polo shirts.

There! They ate my polo shirts!

A great start!

Looks charming.

- It's here?

- There.

What do we do?

Get out.

We get out? Okay. Here I go.

- Go on.

- Gimme a second.

I almost fell.

The bag.

Right, I take the bag.

- It's Mama.

- Yes, Mama, I hear you.

Did you arrive? No news.

Yes, I'm in Deauville.

It's windy on the boardwalk.

I can't hear you.

Sh*t! It keeps cutting off.

Why say you're in Deauville?

Yes, why lie to your mother?

When I'm abroad, her heart races.

Once her pulse jumped to 196.

Like Lance Armstrong.

- Minus his bike.

- Of course.

Something smells good.

It definitely smells.

Do we have far to go?

- Is that you?

- Who else would it be?

Gwen dressed the cat as a fireman.

And pooped on the rug.

Now Mama,

Gwen didn't poop on the rug!

It must be the cat.

Cut off again!

It's sad to get old.

- What's your mother got?

- You name it.

Just before we left,

her glottis shrank.

Never heard of it.

So where's this hotel?

We're in it.

Isn't it darling? Like a dollhouse.

Next to the other one, it sucks.

Here.

Literally:
"The nest of swallows

in love for life."

That's us!

Please.

It's tiny, too.

That's a bed for two?

Thais consider married couples

sleep in each other's arms.

We'll kill two birds with one stone:

adopt and take a second honeymoon.

Settle in. I'm next door.

Meet in a half-hour for dinner.

I booked

a traditional Thai restaurant.

Let go of me, right now!

I'm playing my part, like we said.

Don't act stupid, you'll regret it.

That guy freaks me out.

Did you hear him?

If that Basque learns the truth,

he'll have us shot.

I heard him.

Try not to screw up so much.

- When did I screw up?

- My bag.

Every second.

You haven't missed a trick.

I warn you:

If I go home without Maily,

you don't get your money.

So get smart.

If your garage matters.

- What's this water?

- Close it. It's boiling hot!

For cooking noodles or what?

Asian refinement. Hot water.

The cult of cleanliness.

Why a hot tub in a room?

It doesn't make you cleaner.

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