On The Road Page #5

Don't worry officer, we're heading back to California.

I need everybody to step out of that car, please.

How old are you, young lady?

I'm eighteen.

Who's that guy you're with?

My husband.

I've got the certificate right in the back if you want to see it.

Who you all in such a hurry to see out there in California?

My wife.

Your wife?

This one here just said she's your wife.

She's my ex-wife.

What the hell you doing with your ex-wife?

You're going out to see your wife !

That's not important.

Hey boy !

You gonna waltz in here and tell me what's important?

It's gonna be 25 dollars for speeding.

Or what?

Or I can run you in right now and slap a special California-boy charge on your ass.

Yeah?

What charge?

Don't you worry about it, wise guy.

That guy's got it so goddam easy !

They'll out and shoot you if you complain, too.

I wish I had a f***ing gun !

Dunkel, you are not driving anymore.

Marylou, spread those knees and lets smoke some weed.

It was my father's.

It works.

Thanks a lot.

Flomaton, Alabama

Don't know...

When it comes to buying a gift or it comes to buy a present,

I never have to wonder, I never have to thunder.

If it's a wedding present, if it's an engagement present, if its a shower,

it it's a husband who wants to buy his wife something, I know exactly what to say...

I go to...

Like President Truman says.

"You have to cut down on the cost of living."

Yes, yes we do.

I'm telling you it's true Sal, I started at 9.

With a girl named Millie Mayfair !

That's when my old man was barbering a bit still.

Oh honey Marylou, if only I'd known you then, how sweet you must have been at 9 !

Hey, here's another one for you Sal.

One time I jumped a freight from New Mexico clear to LA.

And I was 11.

I lost my father along the side, and we were staying in a hobo jungle and I hadn't seen him for months.

So, by the time I get to LA I'm so starved for milk that I get a job right in the dairy

and straight off drink 2 quarts of heavy cream and just puke

Poor, tragic Dean

So Dunkel, I suppose you're happy to get back to your wife.

Algiers, Louisiana

Bull?

Jane?

Hello?

Bull?

Bull?

Bull?

That sounds like the angel Sal Paradise.

How are you?

Fair.

Hi Jane !

We finally brought Ed Dunkel with us.

Is Galatea home?

Excuse me.

Lizards.

Ed?

Hi, Galatea

Get out of my sight !

You're an animal !

I guess I'll go help the missus sweep the tree.

Ass !

You're Sal, right?

It depends.

Do you know what these bastards did to me?

Dean leaves his wife and baby penniless because he wants to visit you.

And Ed, being a sheep wants to tag along.

Only they have no money !

So Ed asks me for the money, and I say, "I'm not giving you any unless we're married."

And Dean says, "Hey, Ed, stupid ass.

Marry the broad !

"No, I do love you too, honey...

Shut up !

So he marries me for gas fare !

And we get in the car, and Dean drives like Satan,

smoking marijuana the whole way,

and they won't even let me stop to use the ladies room.

And when I say something about it, they dump me in Tucson. In Tucson!

Come on, Galatea.

I mean.

Dean will be dead some day and then what can you say to him?

The sooner he's dead, the better.

Where were you going?

Can't I watch you guys screw?

Honey, I'm sorry.

A week, a couple of weeks.

I just thought...

You just thought what?

You could just leave me here in this house with strangers?

"Old woman, old woman, old woman, quoth I, "

"Oh whither, oh whither, oh whither so high "

"To brush the cobwebs off the sky"

"Shall I go with thee?"

I would go with her.

We could go together, and we could brush the cobwebs from the sky.

"By and by, by and by."

What the hell has he ever done to anyone?

Well, he drove my mother halfway across the country.

Did he?

Yeah.

Nah...

Dean does not feel responsibility towards others.

He does not know the concept.

Then again, he feels others have some mysterious obligation to support him.

No, I'm OK, Bull.

I find it unspeakably distasteful.

But Dean gives everyone a damn good time just being himself

He gives illusions.

Tricks.

Maybe that's because you're not seeing what's really holy about Dean.

So he's a holy man now !

A religious figure in your eyes !

Argh, Paradise ...

Aren't you a pretty little bird?...

What I see in him is compulsive psychosis.

Dashed with a jigger of psychopathic irresponsibility and violence.

Well, young man, I do believe the cocktail hour is upon us.

Now this nation is dead in its soul and we do nothing.

All we do is wait, for the end to come.

See?

She knows.

The female always knows.

And the end of the world will start here, too.

In Texas.

Louisiana.

Louisiana and Texas.

This is an outstanding martini.

Yes.

May I?

Please.

MmmMmm.

That is an outstanding martini.

You know that a bat, when they suck the blood out of things squirrels, and...

Dad, draw a face.

Dad draw a face.

They got teeth, long teeth, that's what they stick in the squirrels and then they suck the blood out of them.

What's their names?

I think, uh, Lorraine is a good name for a bat.

That's Lorraine

I need some wings on it like that, ain't that right, you little beast?

Here the toes.

I'm gonna sell it for a lot of money.

Money...

Translation is indeed treason.

I got him.

In English you got him saying "fingers rummaging...

person...

in his pockets".

Celine did not write that.

He wrote, "Hands in a**holes and pockets."

Uh.

Well, um, if you could push it away from here.

Away, um, the crumbs.

So, how's it been with Ed?

I don't know how to do it.

How to make him happy.

Oh, it's simple really, honey, all you have to do is...

Okay, I'm.

Here is you, here's him, right here.

palm of your hand.

I mean, with mouth, but he'll be in the palm of your hand.

Boys always love that.

You'll love it too, I promise.

Merci

Now, something can and should be done to eliminate the black seed of noxious effluviants gestating in our unsuspecting gut.

I give you the orgone accumulator !

Captures the vibratory atmospheric atoms of the life principal.

Folks get cancer 'cuz they run out of orgone.

Come on !

You gotta try it with me.

It'll put some juice in your bones, I'm telling you.

I always rush up and take off 90 miles to the nearest whore house !

All right, oh hey, look at that, see how big he got?

See that, not an inch of cancer !

Let's crank her up.

And don't let the cocksuckers get you down

Looks like a f***ing closet

The purity of the road.

The white line in the middle of the highway unrolled, and hugged our left front tire as if glued to our groove.

Dunkel, Dunkle, who's gonna shepherd you now?

Here are a couple bucks for you.

You know you don't have to do that, Bull.

It's alright, it's only money.

Thanks.

Don't forget to write !

I won't.

Bye, brother.

Dean, you keep her out of the ditch !

And zoom went the car!

And we were off again - for California.

Hey, listen to this one, Sal.

"'Not caring for their lives' is it?

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