Once Bitten Page #2

No.

That was done a long time ago in Europe.

Why don't you sit here?

Sure.

What do you do for a living?

I go to school. College.

I'm studying to be an electrical engineer.

Fascinating.

- My field is nuclear physics.

- Really?

I'm working on the acid rain problem.

I love intelligent men.

I guess they're okay.

This place is great. I mean...

It's beautiful. I mean, the...

Who decorated it, anyway?

I did.

Great.

Pillows, and everything. Nice.

I mean, you know,

most people don't do things...

and I think that...

I mean, that's... They... You do.

I mean, you do. You're a doer.

I mean, you are a doer.

You're a...

Beautiful dress, too.

I guess you made that yourself.

I bet my mom would love

to borrow the pattern.

I mean, my mom, she's great.

I have a picture of my family in my wallet.

You might take a look,

as long as you're down there.

There's some Life Savers

in that other pocket, there.

What's he like?

Another crazy we don't need?

Is he cute?

Kind of a square. Sort of a jock.

Enough!

Our new young recruit

will be joining us for Halloween.

Countess expects you all

to take him under your wings...

and make him feel at home

for the first hundred years.

You got that?

She found a virgin! We're home free.

I remember when I met the Countess.

The day she bit me

was the sweetest day of my young life.

There's an inch of dust under there.

How come he rates that deluxe job?

These are the 1980s.

Not the Age of Innocence.

A young man needs plenty of room.

Sunrise in an hour. I suggest that you all...

get an early day.

- Good day, Sebastian.

- Good day.

Good night, Sebastian.

He's still asleep.

How was he?

Delicious.

Are you positive he's a virgin?

I haven't had anything this pure

since the Vienna Boys' Choir hit town.

Just make sure he doesn't slip away.

He won't escape me.

What'll we do with him?

We can't very well

put him down with the others yet.

Heavens, no. Let him go home

and build up his strength.

Tired blood is of no use to me.

Are you feeling better?

Sebastian brought you some orange juice.

Sir.

Thank you.

I'll just go check on the gentleman's truck.

What happened?

Do you remember anything?

Not much.

I had the weirdest dream.

You know those little packets

of fresh fruit juice...

made out of tin foil, where you

stick little straws in them to open them?

I think I dreamt that I was one of those.

What did happen, anyway?

Let's just say...

you earned your juice.

- I did?

- You certainly did.

Really? That's great.

I don't believe it. It finally happened.

Did I enjoy it?

We'll be seeing each other again soon?

Yeah.

I have a bit of a problem.

- A problem?

- Yeah.

See, I'm sort of committed...

to this really nice girl.

I don't mind.

I've often been the other woman.

That's real unselfish of you.

Tell you what, I'll be in touch.

Later, blood.

Start your day off with a smile.

How sweet of you.

Drive carefully.

Remember, part of you belongs to me now.

I'll see you in your dreams.

Sure thing.

Rare hamburger, please.

Very rare, please.

Can I have one of those uncooked ones?

Right.

Hey, stud.

What happened to you guys Saturday night?

I called you Sunday, but you were out.

It was a total disaster.

I don't know.

The strip search was kind of fun.

But, hey, how about you?

Did you go for the pokey?

I don't want to talk about it.

You did it with her, didn't you?

- I guess.

- Jesus, God, those breasts!

Has it changed you any?

I mean, do you feel more manly or mature?

It was all a big mistake. I was so drunk,

I don't remember much, you know.

Come on! Tell us what happened.

Blow by beautiful blow!

Did you undress her slowly...

first baring her big, luscious magoombas?

Did she have any tattoos

or scars or anything?

I told you, I don't remember!

If you're so interested in my sexual failures,

why don't you go have a few of your own?

Robin, wait a second.

Where'd you find her?

A 7-Eleven, a bowling alley?

Wait up!

Saturday night,

the three of us went up to Hollywood.

Hollywood?

It was Russ's stupid idea.

You mean to tell me you went home with

a woman you met in a bar in Hollywood?

And?

I don't want to talk about it.

You didn't make love to her?

I think so. I don't know.

You think so? You don't know?

I remember she bit the buttons off my shirt.

The next thing I remember,

Sebastian bringing me orange juice.

- Sebastian?

- The chauffeur.

The chauffeur?

Also like the butler, too.

The butler? You mean

they all saw her bite your buttons?

No!

I mean, I don't know

what happened, exactly.

I can't believe you'll throw away

our relationship on a one-night stand...

with a chauffeur and a butler

and a slut who eats buttons.

But you did, you really did.

You can have your damn ring back!

What am I supposed to do with it?

Use your imagination.

What are you doing?

I'm dissecting this frog.

But you're not a member of this class.

I'm not?

To my knowledge,

you have never attended lab before.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

There.

He's still good.

You in here?

Hi.

What are you doing in there?

Taking a nap.

Are you feeling all right?

Sure, I feel fine. Why?

Your mother thinks

that you should see a doctor.

You've been awful pale lately.

We know you haven't been sleeping...

because we can hear you

pacing the house all night.

I'm fine. Really.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I am a little tense.

- Tense?

Robin and I

have been having some problems.

I see. Everything is under control?

Yeah.

We'll see how you feel in a couple of days.

Just get a good night's sleep.

In the bed.

You know...

make your mother feel better.

I'll close the door.

What has Mark done with his hair?

- I think it's cute.

- It's weird.

So, you and Mark

broke up for good this time?

I don't believe it.

I thought he was different than other guys.

- You know, more sensitive.

- I like a sensitive man.

One who isn't afraid to show his emotions

or cry on your shoulder.

Cracks me up.

Can I talk to you for a second?

I called you 10 times last night.

Why didn't you talk?

There's nothing to talk about.

You go out behind my back,

pick up a woman at a bar...

go home with her,

and then pretend nothing happened.

I don't want to talk about that.

That's not fair. I was drunk.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

You're not the Mark I thought I knew.

Look at your hair, even.

You look like Jerry Lewis.

I thought I looked more like De Niro.

It looks weird.

I'm sorry, okay?

It's not supposed to be a fashion statement.

I made a stupid mistake. I'm sorry.

I'm a teenager.

I'm supposed to make stupid mistakes.

I wouldn't try to hurt you. You know that.

I guess that's why I've been so mad.

It's because I think

maybe you did what you did because of me.

- Because I was making you so frustrated.

- You weren't.

You were, but you're supposed to.

That's part of being a teenage girl.

You're supposed to say no,

and I am supposed to get pissed off.

You make it sound like the '50s.

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