Once I Was a Champion Page #9

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and he's, like, checking it out,

trying to figure out

where it's coming from.

Kind of was looking around.

He pulled the floorboards

out of the boat,

and it was just filled with

water up to the floorboards.

He took one

of those Tupperware tool...

or a Tupperware container

that he was using as a toolbox.

He just took it and dumped it

all off onto the countertop

and straddled the floorboard

and just stuck it down in there

and filled it up with water

and handed it up to me.

We probably did that about...

between 500 and 1,000 times.

We somehow got lucky.

We found the bay

that they were talking about

that we're supposed

to "anchor" at.

And that's when it went down.

I just watched as Evan and Dan

tried to just deal with things

from the shore.

Tried to save it

by just pumping water.

My friend mark

had brought us some hand pumps.

We had the bilge pump connected,

and Evan never stopped.

He just kept going and going and

going just with the determination

that he hit

everything else with.

Evan didn't want

to leave the boat.

You know, captain wanted

to go down with the boat.

And he did.

He slept on top of it inside,

because by the time it finally

hit bottom, it was high tide,

and it was pretty stable

for the most part.

So I was gonna leave,

and Evan talked me out of it.

He's like, "no, no, no.

I need you to stay here. "

I understood.

That day, losing his home

and his future, his dreams

of doing that, were gone.

You know, and he was still

drinking quite a bit.

The sun coming up,

and it was an overcast day,

and by us sitting on her side,

and he's sitting on the beach

with all this stuff

all around him.

His life that he had left,

you know.

According to him, he said

that was the lowest of his lows,

sitting on that beach

and watching that...

just everything just,

fttt, gone.

When I had talked to Evan about

everything that he had been through

and along his travels

and asked him, you know,

to kind of give me an idea

of what that was all about,

and he had touched on that,

when he was drinking,

a lot of it was

to gain experience

and to, like, lay the foundation

for a great...

something that would become

a great work.

And I wasn't

really understanding

a lot of it, and he told me to

read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

and that it would put things

into perspective for me.

Most young people are

broadly influenced

by Siddhartha and the quest

for spiritual enlightenment

and the whole Buddha of it all.

Siddhartha was only

a stepping stone

to the conversation I had

with him about Steppenwolf.

Steppenwolf was another book

by Hermann Hesse

that he had read

that he had loved.

It's strange.

It's a story

about a 50-year-old man

who checks into a rooming house

to commit suicide and ends up, you know,

walking around an old German town

where he meets a woman,

and he goes to a jazz club,

and his whole life

is reinvigorated

by dancing lessons

this woman gives him,

and he opens himself up to

music and a whole other life.

And Evan related to that.

I went to jazzercise class with this

guy because it's an aerobic workout.

I never, ever in my life

would have walked

into, like...

it was like jazzercise.

And Danita went in there too.

Me, Danita, and Evan, and I was

like... and Evan knew the moves

and the steps,

and I'm going, "what is this?"

I was watching him. I'm like... And

then he'd get kind of embarrassed

that he knew 'em 'cause I'm like,

"you've done this more than once.

It's not your first time. "

I think he was looking for a place

to maybe get some perspective

and take charge

of his life again.

And, you know, we... we had heard

a lot of stories

about him out in town,

and it was sad.

As a fan, it saddened me.

And so he came in here one

day and wanted to train,

so him and bill trained.

Soon as he started hitting mitts,

bill's like, "oh, the fire in his eyes.

"You could see it.

It was there.

Evan Tanner back. "

Oh, man.

As a fan, oh, my gosh.

And he told me that he had

set a date for his sobriety.

And... which was kind

of an interesting concept

for me as the mom of an addict.

You know, it's like that's not

how they do it traditionally,

but I get what he was doing.

And then I got an email from him saying

that he was gonna move to Vegas.

It made me very happy.

I wanted him to give it up

and to get on with his life

and be rid of that part, where he

could feel like he could do things

in life without alcohol.

When he decided to quit was about the

time my wife moved out of our house.

You know, you know

just from timetable,

you know, he's got to be going through

hell 'cause he quit cold Turkey.

He just walked away.

And he's calling me up, keeping me on

the phone 'cause I'm in... you know,

this was a very tough time

for me.

He called me probably

two or three times a day,

sometimes for a couple hours

at a time,

you know, and I'm sure

it was probably

a distraction

for him in some ways,

but I don't think it was just him,

"well, I'm just gonna use this,

so I don't think

about drinking. "

I needed him.

I needed somebody.

And he stepped right up.

That was it.

I never heard

anything more about it.

I mean, he never really talked

about it.

It was done.

He sent me an email.

He said, you know,

"how are you doing?

"I recently parted ways with

a friend of 15 years, alcohol.

"I'm almost 40 years old, " and only

now do I consider myself a man.

"Now I can really begin my life.

"I am flying.

"I am not in a position

financially or materially

"that many in this society

would consider impressive

"for a man of my age,

but they don't know what I know.

"You, being a sappy, overly

emotional, melodramatic guy

"like myself will understand

all of this, I'm sure.

"Ha ha.

Just kidding.

"I suddenly got the urge

to write you tonight.

"I'm not sure why.

"This letter's

not what I expected.

"I began to write,

and the words and thoughts

"just came,

as if the letter wrote itself.

"I can only think " that your

present position in life

"could be considered very similar

to my own "in many respects.

"I see it all as a time

of rebirth.

"I hope you're doing well.

Choose to fly, my friend,

Evan. "

It's terrifying, where I went.

You know, I don't... I'm so... I'm

so thankful that it's over,

all that's over.

You know,

15 years of it, it's scary.

So I wouldn't tell anyone else

to take that path.

He always talked about...

you know, intimate things

a lot of people would keep guarded,

he let everyone know about.

And that's what was great.

And so I, in turn,

I kind of knew

what was going on in his life,

so I was kind of nervous,

you know, to ask him

for the interview.

But I think, like...

I think he thought

I was kind of green,

so he kind of threw me a bone,

and he was like, "yeah, sure.

You know, I'll give you

an interview. "

This is Ryan McKinnell

sitting down with,

well, I'm not gonna say

new UFC middleweight,

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