Once I Was a Champion Page #8

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And if you break... I mean,

if you've ever read a book,

if you've ever gone

to a course,

if you've ever heard

an intelligent person talk,

you'd know what he was saying was

not from an intelligent person.

He had a great vocabulary.

Anybody that talked to him,

you know,

uh... he was just such

an articulate guy, and he was

such a thought-provoking

conversationalist.

And, uh, I think he would have

written a great book.

And so I would encourage him, I'd

say, "Evan, you have a great voice. "

You know, "there's a great

vision in the way you speak. "

You know... you know,

"you're very visual. "

You know, "when you talk,

I can see what you're

"talking about.

That's a real talent.

"Got to develop that talent.

Use it more.

Write more, write more. "

I always found something

to be very interesting about him

in the way that Ernest Hemingway

talks about the grindstone theory...

that if you have a pen

that's dulled from writing,

but you've never lived

your life,

then you have nothing

worth writing about.

You could be the best

technical writer there is,

but if you have no stories to tell

with your pen, there's no sense in it.

Some of it feels very poetic, like,

um, almost like prose, you know?

Some of these...

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, then you quote...

you quote some people,

and, uh, you've got some

big heroes in literature,

but just the way your style

of writing, it's very honest.

- Thanks. - I was telling John,

I'm surprised there wasn't, uh,

like, Hemingway wasn't

in some of your heroes

because you... you have

a little bit of that too.

For Evan, he...

he did write his stories

for a reason, and, um,

I think he would have wanted

people to know how his life was

and what he learned and accomplished

from that, from his writings.

I don't think most people

write down everything they do,

um, unless they anticipated

someone wanting

to know that story.

I was reading his blogs, uh,

'cause he had a public page.

So I was reading his blogs,

and then I befriended him,

and I sent him a message,

um, briefly explaining who I was

and how his blogs impacted my life

and... and what I wanted to do

with my life

and how there was

some similarities there.

And just, you know,

just normal stuff,

and then he, uh, he responded

to me about a month after that.

I was in a bad spot in my life,

and, uh, I was drinking a lot

and doing a lot of behaviors

that weren't healthy.

And I saw that he was going

through the same thing,

and I knew that eventually

I wanted to have a fight,

and, uh, so I just kind of...

as he was battling something,

I was dealing with it myself.

And, uh, I outlined that to him,

and he got back to me

and really just said, you know,

"keep pushing forward,

and, if you ever need anything,

feel free to drop me a line,"

and just really sincere.

It wasn't really long

or anything, but, like,

I could just tell

that he really cared,

and I kept in contact with him

as much as I could after that

when I...

when I needed something.

Evan wrote in many journals.

He always kept a pen and paper

with him, at all times.

He would, in the middle

of eating, write stuff down,

and he had a very big

fascination with ink pens.

He had purchased a few,

and it meant a lot to him.

There are, you know, many, many goals

I have with the writing, you know?

One is to market myself,

keep myself out there.

Another is to be, you know, absolutely

to be accessible to the fans.

You know, it's my way of giving

back to the fans for,

you know,

everything they've done for me.

Giving them an inside look at,

you know, a fighter's life,

and just... just trying to be,

you know, trying to...

trying to share with them.

So, you know,

that's another thing.

And I'm trying to get

a message out there, you know,

that, you know,

just because you're...

oh, one of the short-term

messages is, you know,

you don't have to be a hard-ass,

a macho, tough guy, you know,

to, you know, to be a fighter, to

compete in this sport, you know?

It's... that's not

what it's about.

It's not about, uh, you know,

WWE and stuff, you know,

that kind of

disrespectful attitude.

It's about... it's about

the old warrior code, you know?

The old, you know, respect.

We're standing there,

and he says,

"wade, I have something

I want to give you,"

in that... his voice,

and I said, "okay, sure. "

Um, he was always humble.

He had his head bowed, and he reached

up, and he says, "it's my pen. "

And I said, "okay, thanks. "

And he said, "do you know

the importance of a pen?"

And I said, "no. "

He goes,

"well, someday you will. "

And it took me a while, but I was

standing in the living room one day

after his death,

and then all of a sudden,

you know, it just kind of hit me,

I know I'm a little slow, but...

Words are very powerful,

and he believed that.

Words are very powerful.

He really had a huge heart,

and he cared for everybody

that would send him messages,

and he read them, and he

responded as if he did care,

you know, because he did.

And I know, with a lot of the women

that he... he talked to online,

had a deep, deep,

deep emotional connection.

I guess it depends

on the person that you are

and what kind of experience

you had with him

in what stage of his life,

but to me, he was awesome.

He was like a brother to me,

you know?

He was my best friend.

Let's see, Evan and I spent

weekends together for the most part

because we met

when I was in the school year,

and, being a teacher, you know,

and we'd spend time on the

boat together, in oceanside.

Well, you know, Evan

had been here for a long time,

and he'd been

way past the time limit

of what they normally allowed

people to hold boats

here on temporary slips.

We'd only taken it out twice

to learn how to sail it,

and, prior to that, neither of us

had had any sailing experience,

so that was kind of a... it was just... it

was just kind of an exciting day.

We were going out,

it was sunny,

the weather was good,

the water was smooth.

He's just like a little kid

in a candy store.

Just smiling. He's so happy, sitting

there, and he's directing the sails,

and he's kind of talking

to me about how you do it,

and I don't know.

I'm not a quick learner.

And I was just like, "okay. "

But, yeah, he had some plans

to travel around the world,

around all the oceans on her.

He really thought he can do this

and really would love

to do it.

That was, like, his goal.

On the way down the, you know,

the farther out you get

the waves and the wakes

get bigger.

And it was an old, wooden boat,

and so we were... we were kind

of hitting the wakes, and...

it wasn't any big deal,

but there was a couple of times

where I heard big, loud cracks.

And Dan was about to come down,

he noticed a bunch of water

down at the end

of, like, the little stairs.

There's... the water

was just filling up.

And so Evan comes down,

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