Once Upon a Time in America Page #4

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Just tell them

exactly what you want them to do.

Move some diamonds from Detroit.

Kid stuff!

Why us then?

If it's kid stuff, why don't you have

the kids from Detroit do it?

Excuse me, Noodles. What he means

is that it's something that's very simple.

But for now, he needs kids

from outside to handle it.

I mean, he just found out they're

moving these diamonds to Holland in a few days.

So it's something came up right away.

You understand?

Hey, Joe!

Tell these guys the story about

the p*ssy being insured. What is it?

Tell these guys how you

stumbled on this whole thing.

- Tell them the story.

- Come on.

P*ssy insurance. The insurance pussies.

What it is, tell them that story.

Life is stranger than sh*t, that's all.

It's a pisser. No big story.

I got this insurance agent,

this Jew kid named David.

This kid conned me into every policy

in the world. Every policy, name it.

Dogs, house, wife, life, anything.

I'm drinking with the boys one night,

he comes in with his wife...

...pretty brunette with a nice ass

who works for a jeweler.

And he's still on the hustle, this guy.

So I wink at the guys,

I say, "Look...

...the most serious policy that should be,

you don't have me covered for. "

He goes, "What's that, Joe?"

"Cock insurance. "

"You make me a policy that

when it don't work, I get a payment... "

"... I'll write out a check now. "

He thinks, and he says, "I don't know

if the actuality gauges govern this...

...but we can make a policy. "

"But you gotta guarantee

you're in good health now. "

"That's simple", I says, "Look, leave her

with me, come back and see if it stands up.

If it stands up,

you know I'm in good health to begin with. "

The jerk leaves her.

I screw her.

Not only that, she likes it. And she

tells me when her boss, the jeweler...

...is shipping stones to Holland...

...where he keeps his stash

in a little drawer in the safe. Everything.

Can't ask for more, right?

Except, one better.

I never paid the first premium

on the new cock policy.

"Cock insurance!"

Life is funnier than sh*t.

But...

...be easy with the girl.

I mean that.

Be easy with the girl!

Oh, my God!

- Open it!

- Who's gotten in?

Had to go and be a hero, huh?

- Open it.

- No!

- Open it!

- No, don't hurt him!

- Don't hurt him!

- Get this b*tch out of here.

You animal! You a**hole!

- Come on, hit me.

- What do you mean?

- Hit me!

- What's the matter with you, are you crazy?

- Come on, straighten up and fly right.

- I'm all right.

Let me make it look real.

Make it look real.

- Knock it off.

- I'm all right. Let go!

- Come on, cut the act.

- Hit me!

She said hit her.

Go ahead, rap her in the mouth.

- Hit me!

- I'll hit you! You b*tch!

- You animal!

- Put a cork in her.

No!

No, don't!

Don't. No!

No! You dirty bastards!

Bastards!

Try the secret compartment.

Attaboy!

Thanks!

Nice matzo balls!

Beautiful. Look at that.

Okay, better wrap them up.

We're going. You coming?

Coming!

- Morning.

- You get the stones?

Pay him.

- Any trouble?

- No trouble. Kid stuff.

You okay?

- How come you didn't tell me?

- Being inside can change you.

I'd already made the deal

with Frankie to get rid of Joe.

With a man like Frankie Monaldi

you don't say, "yes" and then, say "no. "

I cannot take the chance

to change your mind, you understand?

You're right.

I would have said, no.

Frankie Manoldi is as big as they come.

He's got the combination

in the palm of his hand.

If we're not careful,

he's gonna have us in the palm of his hand.

You don't get nowhere alone.

I thought you'd already said

you didn't like bosses.

It sounded like a good idea then.

It still is.

Just think about it, Noodles.

They're gonna ask us to come in

with them. There's a lot in it for us.

Today they asked us to get rid of Joe.

Tomorrow they ask me to get rid of you.

Is that okay with you?

'Cause it's not okay with me.

All right.

Let's just forget about it.

Wanna go for a swim?

Yeah, let's go for a swim.

All right, what are you doing?

Hey, Noodles.

Don't f*** around, Noodles.

- Noodles, what are you doing?

- Hey!

You crazy?

Sh*t!

A**hole!

Can't believe you did this!

District Attorney James Lister

was killed in an explosion of a car...

...belonging to Secretary of Commerce,

Christopher Bailey...

...as he's leaving

the Secretary's Long Island Estate.

Mr. Lister, was killed instinctly in the blast,

was scheduled to testify...

...in Washington on Thursday

before a Senate committee.

A committee investigating what has

become to be called "The Bailey Scandal. "

A special team of detectives

has been assigned to the case.

As for Secretary Bailey, he was not available

for any statement at this time.

Did you know them?

- offices of his long time legal advisor,

Irving Gold...

...in hopes of getting some comment.

Mr. Gold, you're aware

that District Attorney Lister...

...is the second witness in the Bailey

Scandal to meet a sudden end violently.

The first was Thomas Finney,

Undersecretary of Commerce...

...who fell to his death from his

Do you think there's a connection between...

Take the money and run, Noodles.

What the hell's keeping you here?

The only remaining witness

is the man who...

...rightly or wrongly has given his

name to this affair, Secretary Christopher Bailey.

Curious!

The secretary has no worries.

Sir, if he has no worries, why has he

retreated to his place on Long Island?

Far from between, he's preparing his attack...

...on the questions,

he will be asked by the committee.

I'd call them accusation,

more than questions, Sir!

- This secretary has no worries.

- Well, the public does!

Particularly, in view of the rumors

about rigged contracts, bribery...

...the international Mafia. Especially

those dealing with the illegal use...

...of the Transport union

pension funds.

Could you tell us anything about that?

Gentlemen, I deny all of these rumors

and allegations directed against my organization.

Our hands have always been

and will continue to remain clean.

In my entire life, I've fought to keep

the American labor movement clear...

Him, I know!

- forced speculation,

criminal elements...

...or corrupt politicians.

If any mistakes have been made...

He's still giving out

the same old bullshit.

If any guilt at all exists

in this situation, it lies elsewhere.

What's this I've been reading

about you in the newspapers?

Inflammatory words from an union boss?

You still won't come and stop

the workers or the social movement.

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