Once Upon a Time in Venice Page #7

He is playing some

great music out there.

Came here to talk to me

about the motherfucking DJ?

You a crazy motherf***er.

All right, well, so enough

with the talking and sh*t...

Open the case.

Yeah, just show me the stuff.

Uh, just open the case.

Show me the stuff.

Just open the case.

Show us the stuff.

Open the case.

Show us the f***ing stuff!

Motherf***er, open the

motherfucking case.

Show us the motherfucking stuff!

Open the motherfucking case,

Steve!

What are... what are you doing?

Kill these motherfuckers.

Sh*t!

Now the thing you need to do

is sit there real quiet...

And just sit back.

I'm just gonna hold this up

to your neck.

Okay, be very cool.

We're gonna stand up, you ready?

Come on.

Sh*t just got real.

You, put your gun down,

put your gun down.

Take that cocaine, put it

in our case and shut it.

Tick, tick, tick, tick.

Oh, here we go, nice and easy.

Nice and easy, watch your step.

You're in control, boss.

F*** you.

Dave, you got this?

I got it.

Good, easy, don't move, don't

f***ing move, you hear me?

It was nice meeting you,

all of you!

Hold on to this.

Oh, sh*t! Oh! Oh, sh*t!

Oh, f***.

The f*** y'all running to?

You motherfuckers fired!

All of y'all are fired.

That's right,

it's the muffin man.

Oscar you find that cocaine?

Just put Spyder on the phone!

Go f*** yourself!

No, I will not go

f*** myself, Oscar.

Just tell Spyder that I got

his coke...

And I want my dog and my money,

all right?

So I'll be over there tonight.

All right, goodbye.

Well, that was easy.

Yeah, easy getting in,

not so easy getting out.

It sure smells like a set-up.

You got a plan?

Of course, I got a plan.

You see what's happening here,

don't you?

For the first time in your life,

Katey and Taylor...

You're putting them and their

needs before your own.

Now me, I'm doing the totally

opposite thing.

I'm putting my needs

before anyone else's...

For the first time in my life.

I've become you, and you've

become me.

It's a little right on the nose,

isn't it, Dave?

Sure, but I didn't have much

time with it.

Great news! Jesus!

It's me, it's okay.

What the f*** are you doing

here, John?

Oh, uh, I have something

for you guys.

Hi, guys.

Fellas, you're a day early...

The luau has been changed

'til tomorrow.

F*** you!

Hey, Manu? Just... please.

Sorry.

Okay?

Sorry.

It's okay.

Listen, we are here to apologize

to you, Steve...

For kicking the sh*t out of you.

Yeah, little dude says we

should.

Why are you listening to the

little dude?

He's dating our sister.

How many sisters do you have?

Only one.

Yeah, yeah, it just happened,

just crazy chemistry...

Just right off the bat.

Just very... very heated, in a

respectable way, just modest...

Modests, hot modests.

Why didn't you just beat

the sh*t out of him?

Momma likes him.

You met Nola's mom?

Yeah, yeah, uh, just yesterday,

actually... a very lovely lunch.

Joan... is a wonderful cook.

And it turns out, we both have a

passion for vintage cinema, so...

So we're all good here?

Yeah, we're cool.

And?

Oh, we owe you, Steve, and if

there's anything you need...

You could come see us.

What are you guys doing

right now?

John I know

I'm in the minority here...

But I don't love gun battles...

At creepy, drug-cartel trap

houses.

If anything, I'm more

of an "au natural"...

Hand-to-hand combat kind

of guy.

So, I just sat this one out and

headed back to the office.

You know, to do office stuff.

Here you go, buddy. Hold tight,

okay, come on.

Ssh, let's get out of here.

Right?

Whoa!

Not much of a plan,

if I can say that.

Stay here with the coke.

I'm gonna try and get buddy.

Keep your head down.

Picked the right man

for the job.

Get some!

F*** you.

What the f***, Holmes?

It's that muffin motherf***er,

man!

He's back, took a shot at me!

Watch the windows, I'll find

that muffinfucker!

Drop the gun.

Does Spyder know you and Lupe stole all

the drugs? And you've been f***ing her?

Where's my coke, b*tch?

You lying motherf***er.

Now what?

We had a deal... your doggie and

the money for my cocaine.

Yeah.

You got my coke?

It's on it's way.

Bring it on, motherf***er!

Dave, Dave!

What the f*** are you doing?

I'm completely out of control.

All right, that's our guy.

Is that for me?

Yes, here we go.

I got it, I got it.

Dude... okay. Thank you.

Mm.

Hang on to that.

There he is, come here.

Buddy! I missed you so much!

You been feeding my dog?

Pedigree, lamb and rice blend,

he loves that sh*t.

Yeah, he does. Thanks for

looking after him.

No problem.

We cool?

Cool. See you down the road,

Holmes.

All right, okay.

Not a bad fella, that Spyder.

John so, Steve got the job done.

Was it unorthodox in execution?

Sure.

Should he see someone about

multiple concussions...

In a span of 24 hours?

Definitely.

Could he benefit from maybe

a therapist to help him...

Sort out some of his many

issues?

That's not for me to say.

The main thing is... Steve got

his dog back.

Lew the Jew made good on his

deal, and me, I got the girl.

Never thought I'd get

to say that.

She's all yours.

You, uh, take good care of her,

huh?

I will, Lew.

Okay.

Thank you very much.

Yeah.

You did the right thing.

Nah.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, baby. Do you like your new

room?

My new room is pretty amazing.

Thanks, uncle Steve.

You're welcome. Have a good time

today.

Thought you might want that.

Thank you.

Hot moo!

Moo!

I'll take a steak.

John either way,

everyone is happy. Case closed.

Hello.

John Steve, it's me, it's John.

I can't hear you very well.

Here, I got you.

Who is this?

It's John.

Yeah, uh, look, I know everyone

is probably looking forward...

To my world-famous pasta salad,

but I won't be able to make it.

Steve

so I invite you to my party...

And you're not gonna bring

anything?

No, no, uh, I won't be able

to attend the barbeque...

Pasta salad's already made.

Okay, no worries, pal,

I'll see you tomorrow.

Well, yeah...

Hello? Steve?

Ah, I believe he hung up.

That's terrible, because if

he's not gonna come to us...

Now we gotta go to him...

Which means you need

to tell us where he is.

No... no, I won't.

So, you're just gonna have

to find him...

And you won't be able

to find Steve.

Not in Venice, he knows every

nook and cranny...

In this neighborhood.

He'll disappear, he's got

friends in high places...

And got friends in low places.

I didn't mean to quote that

country song right now...

But the point is, if he even

gets a whiff of trouble...

He'll turn into a ghost.

Not literally, obviously, but...

Hold on. Clancy, rewind that

sh*t back like a minute.

What's the address of that house

we scored from Lew the Jew?

John I'm

standing in Steve's parents'...

House at 845 Holland canal...

The one with the white picket

fence.

I think it's mid-century.

Really? And you know,

it's perfect timing...

Because I'm starving... and

I really love pasta salad.

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