One More Time Page #2

What is it with you and

Judaism all of a sudden?

I was a vocal stylist.

Did anybody complain that Brando

didn't write his own lines?

It's not enough for

Olivier to be Olivier?

Since when do you have an

issue with Billie Holiday?

I don't have anything

against Billie Holiday.

I love Billie Holiday.

Singers were never expected

to write their own stuff.

She just didn't

write "strange fruit."

Not until Lennon and McCartney.

Well, I think Billie

Holiday is incredible.

And no one's arguing

with you, Corinne.

I think she's incredible, too.

In fact, I think a

lot of people are

incredible who,

like Billie Holiday,

did not write "strange fruit."

It says here "strange fruit"

was written by Lewis Allen.

That is a pseudonym

for Abe Meeropol.

Also, I did write

songs over the years.

I co-wrote, I collaborated

without credit.

I'm not saying that at my age

I'm going to be Burt Bacharach.

Excuse me.

I happened to write this one.

So, uh, could we hear it?

Yep.

Down.

Big finish.

If life is

nasty, brutish, and short,

and all this too shall pass,

can we conspire and consort

to make the good times last?

If youth is wasted on

the young, and it is,

and time goes by too fast, if

second chances go and come,

or too, too much to ask.

Oh, if... if I'd been

born in Hindustan,

I'd reincarnate

like the Hindus can.

I'll tell you, sir,

I've got a plan,

when I live my life over again.

I'm all warmed up,

and limber now.

Next time, I swear I'm

going to make it count.

Thank god we get more

than one go round.

Regret,.

Regrets, yes, I've had a few.

Perhaps I forgot to mention, but

the passing years and graying

beard are what got my attention.

Take it home.

So as a dress rehearsal,

this one's been fine.

But now I'm going to

go for real this time,

and smell the red roses when I'm

living my life all over again.

Alert my friends when I

live my life over again!

It's not a bad song, you know?

It's fantastic.

Well, it's a little something.

Anyway.

Hello?

This heart is a foolish one.

It's never worked right.

It so loudly... it so loudly

keeps me awake in the night.

And it forces...

Listeners soon

found themselves entranced

by the dulcet vocals

that were to become

a Humperdink trademark.

Humperdink combined

the influen...

With the pre-rock and

roll romance of American

crooner Paul Lombard.

Hey.

Shout out from vh1.

Where's my behind the music?

Oh, please.

You don't want

that horrible sh*t.

It's just Hollywood

exploitation.

I was born too late.

My era was Sinatra, Dino,

Tony Bennett, those guys.

I come along at least

a decade after that.

After your rock and roll had

destroyed the whole tradition.

My rock and roll.

Right.

Who am I, Chuck Berry?

Still, you had a good run.

Didn't you?

O king of romance.

To this day, when anyone

wants some make out music,

the first thing they reach

for is a Paul Lombard album.

Which one?

What?

Which album dot hey reach for?

Oh.

I don't know.

"In the dark and lonely hours."

"Swinging at Sally's," or

"boulevard of broken dreams."

Paul's greatest, obviously.

That's a compilation.

I didn't even get paid.

It still counts.

Seriously, I can't tell you how

many people my age have a copy

of "in the dark and lonely."

"Dark and lonely."

What a wonderful record.

"Dark and lonely" is

a wonderful record.

You know, there's no single.

It's gonna be the

beginning of my next act

to reclaim my place.

I'm glad.

What?

What?

You don't sound enthusiastic.

I'm glad sounds like

a prelude to a but.

No but.

It's just that...

There you go.

You're nothing if not critical.

I was just going

to say that it's

a shame it has to be motivated

by such... I don't know,

bitterness.

It's called drive, and

you could take a lesson.

A driving lesson?

You're hilarious.

You could do comedy

as part of your act.

And by the way, you're right.

Why wouldn't I be... look

at where I'm living.

You live in the Hamptons.

Yes, the slums of the Hamptons.

We're not even on the

beach side of the street.

I had to cut the woods

back to three days a week.

I had to get rid of the

gardener and the pool guy.

At my age, it's not good.

And I notice, you

never turn down

a hand out from the old

family treasure chest,

miss soon to be homeless.

Speaking of, you could take

your own advice, career-wise.

Please.

I don't want to do this, Paul.

Just save it.

You have a wonderful talent.

I mean, why don't you

do something with it?

What about p*ssy fart?

It's a punk rock

thing you dabbled in.

Post punk.

And I did not dabble in it.

It was my full time job

for nearly two years.

Stop.

You were the bass player.

Meaning what?

The bass is a big, ugly thing.

You know, for a

girl it's unseemly.

That is so f***ing sexist.

Oh, Jude, don't work blue.

You know, cursing means you

don't know what you're talking

about, said Thomas Aquinas.

You know, there are a lot

of great female bassists.

Kim Gordon, Kim deal.

Kim Jong Il.

And I sang backup, too.

Kim Jong Il.

I sang backup, too.

Yeah, that's not backup to me.

It's like cats screaming.

Jesus.

You know, I noticed that

your contempt for our music

didn't stop you from

banging our drummer.

Why do you bring that up?

It's spilled milk

under the bridge.

For you.

So, you're holding

up this punk band

as evidence of your...

Your focus on success.

Ok, I didn't say that we were

your close personal friends,

the Beatles, but yeah,

by punk standards

we were moderately successful.

Yeah.

Post punk.

How many albums did

this band put out?

That is not a fair yardstick.

For the record.

- One.

- What label?

And an EP.

What label?

Chlamydia.

That's not a label.

Anything run out of a

garage is not a label.

In publishing it's what

we call vanity press.

Now you're an expert on

the publishing industry?

I'm an expert on

the music business...

Or is it the vanity part of it?

Hey, I know the difference.

Classic.

When you do it, it's boutique.

When I do it, it's vanity.

Like the man said,

I've forgotten more

about the business

than you'll ever know.

Hell of a pep talk.

Thank you.

Yeah, boost my confidence

by insulting me?

No, I'm not doing that.

I'm... I'm trying to help.

Doesn't matter what

you were trying to do.

Stay.

You know, don't... come on.

Keep me company.

I'll be dead soon.

Good morning.

How you doing?

Good morning, Mr. Paul.

Going to play golf,

in case anybody cares.

So do you really think dad

has a chance for a comeback?

If you're asking me if I'm

worried about him, yeah.

I'm worried.

I'm worried he's going

to fall on his face.

Mm, well, he's a grown up.

Sort of.

I mean, didn't you

find dad's last album

just a little bit twee?

You know what I find twee?

Using the word twee.

I'm just saying we've been

down this comeback road before.

Need I remind you of the

infamous reggae experiment?

No, please don't.

There you all are.

House is completely empty.

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