One More Time Page #3

I was afraid you'd

been raptured.

Hey, Alan.

Hey, Jude.

Oh gosh, it never gets old.

You sure?

Where's Paul?

Playing golf.

What does he play,

36 holes a day?

Paul loves his holes.

Where is that Lucille, anyway?

Follow the smell of sulfur.

Hey!

David!

Come over here, and let me

show you how to handle an axe.

I don't want to.

Come on!

Please, will you... will

you just do it for me?

So what brings you out

here, anyways, Alan?

I have these documents

from the DMI lawsuit

that I need Paul to sign.

I thought that was

settled already?

No, there's two DMI lawsuits.

This is a different one.

You're like a

crack dealer, Alan.

You've got Paul hooked.

Please, your father

needs no encouragement

in the legal realm.

I don't need the

money, and I certainly

don't need the ass pain.

I know how to do it.

When's he getting back?

Around dinner.

Do you want to stay and join us?

I'm cooking.

Which means she's buying food,

and Lourdes is heating it up.

Why do I even need to

know how to chop wood?

What time?

7:
00-ish.

I'm there.

Gives these to your pop

when he gets back, ok?

Yes.

It's not gonna work like that.

I mean, it's ok for practice.

Hey.

Psst!

This is right up your alley.

Trust me.

Come here.

What?

Did you ever sleep with Alan?

What?

Oh, god, don't be

ridiculous, Corinne.

Alan's gay.

Alan is not gay.

Alan is so gay.

He's just of the closet

dwelling generation.

Either way, did

you sleep with him?

No.

I already told you.

Once.

Jesus, Jude.

I mean, I remember when

movie stars were sort of lewd.

But when did he get...

When did he get sculpted?

I'm just saying,

it's a tradition

in music to change your name.

Reinventing yourself, you know?

Ask Bobby Zimmerman.

I lived in London through

the '70s, right on kings road.

Now men are being subjected to

the same unreasonable standards

that women have been for years.

I knew all the stars.

Then when I come to Hollywood,

I want to be discrete,

but we used to get around,

party, party all the time.

I could tell you stories.

But athletes, too.

Have you seen

Rafael Nadal's arms?

A lot those arms.

You know, I used to be so

in love with.

The greatest name change in

music history is Nina Simone.

David?

Not at the table, please.

Big, smart beast.

Right.

Alan.

Ooh.

California was the place.

In those days... it still is.

California.

Blah, blah, blah.

I played tons of

gigs at the lava.

Oh, the lava.

Do not make me count to five.

It was the house band,

practically... bar tab

like you could not conceive.

Alan, right?

Oh, yeah.

Three.

The lava's going strong.

Still.

I tried to introduce Jude

to John and Fiona there,

but of course, she said no.

Fi...

Why don't you bust

Corinne's balls for a while?

Cause Corinne can't sing.

True story, when your

father went into,

Seagram's stock

dropped 20 points.

It's on Wikipedia.

It's not an exaggeration.

I can too sing.

A little.

Hey, Jude, are you

still into Nina Simone?

Like, you used to listen

to her 24/7, or whatever.

I used to play

ping pong with Nina.

She was ferocious.

Nina Simone's a god.

Period, dot, end of sentence.

Quick story about the lava.

Tell us.

One day during the '80s,

I'm standing outside the Ivy,

and this girl comes up...

Young, good looking... big rack.

And she says, uh, I

have to thank you.

And I'm thinking...

Hey, that's not fair.

When we first danced

at our wedding,

it was one of my songs,

and she says, for paying

for my college education.

I'm Charlie Steinman's daughter.

He owns the lava lounge.

It's a true story.

You can't make this up.

Nope.

You know, I think it slightly

invalidates your status

as a recovering

alcoholic when all you do

is brag about what a

big drinker you were.

I'm not bragging.

It's a true story,

from my memoir.

And that would've been

when you were very young,

and before Jude was born, right?

Neither of us were

born yet, Alan.

And I would have

been first, anyway.

I always do that.

Yeah, I always forget

that you're older.

Everyone thinks that.

Because of the lines.

Dad, why don't you record

one of those duet albums?

That would be

really good for you.

I've been saying that for years.

- I've thought about that.

- Yeah.

Paul, awesome idea.

Yes.

I can't wait to buy your

next album from Starbucks.

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jude.

God forbid dad does

anything commercial.

Hey, why don't you take a

sad song, and make it better?

How about this, Paul?

Why don't you just record

all your parts now,

so when you're dead, Corinne can

just put out an album with you

and whoever's the

flavor of the month?

That is not a bad idea.

I love that idea.

That is a great idea.

That is a terrible idea.

Why not just shoot me,

throw me in the trunk,

and haul me off to the boneyard.

Hey, don't tempt me.

Don't tempt me.

I'm just saying, you don't want

to be one of those nostalgia

acts, do you?

Mademoiselle super nag.

Maybe that's what

the audience wants.

Hey, this is what

we're talking about.

You can have all

the success... money,

fame up the wazoo... but the

thing you cannot buy is new.

I don't care who you are, sooner

or later you're going to be old

news, and that's not to

say that you're less good,

your fans will desert you...

Thought some of them will...

I'm saying you cannot

make it happen again.

Not the same way.

Shockingly wise.

Thank you.

It's also total bullshit.

I mean... I mean, just

because you're not... sorry.

But it is.

Just cause you can't

be something new

doesn't mean you can't

do something new.

I'm doing something different.

I'm recording a song

that I wrote myself.

It's a different kind of new.

Jude, would you clear

the plates, please?

What am I, Cinderella?

I got it.

Finish up this flan.

David.

This is for you.

Miss September.

Check it out.

She was a friend.

I could tell you stories.

It's an old magazine,

but, you know...

Uh, ok.

Thanks, pop pop.

Don't mention it.

I mean that.

Don't mention it to anybody.

Ok, let's start

at the beginning.

So the first one

was your mom, right?

No.

No, his first wife was the

high school sweetheart.

They were only like, 18.

They lived in ho-ho-kus.

The ho of ho-ho-kus?

She divorced him

before he was famous,

when he was still a

Lipman, out on the road

with the moonlighters.

Our mom had barely left

Bolivia when they got married.

Mick Jagger had a

Latina supermodel wife,

so Paul figured he

had to do the same.

Wait, Jerry hall was Latino?

And the third wife... of

course, she whose name

we do not speak...

The Au pair who broke

up his marriage to our mom.

Oh, she didn't break it up.

She just happened to be

there when the roulette

wheel stopped spinning.

I can't even remember

the fourth one.

Sure you do.

Crazy cosmetics heiress.

You know, the,

um... the... the one

that he eloped with to Vegas.

Wait, so then, number five?

The stripper with

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