One Night Page #5

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to do the rescuing?

I can just drown.

- No, no, Andy, Andy, come on.

- I thought I was gonna

drown there for a second.

You do realize we're

in the shallow end.

- My dress is ruined now.

- It'll dry.

- I could have died.

I wouldn't have let that happen.

- How can you be so sure

that you wouldn't

have let that happen?

- Because...

I can't imagine

a world without you.

- So whose room is this?

- It's Henry's, he thought

he was getting laid tonight.

He's not here.

- Well, what if he comes back,

doesn't he have a key?

- He's still at the party,

the guy's on a mission.

- Poor Henry.

- Hi.

- I like what you

did with the place.

- I just expected

the end of the night

to go a lot different than this.

- The rose petals are

a little dramatic.

- You like 'em.

- I do.

- Did you see it?

Yeah, me too.

Don't lose that.

- I won't.

- There is all this wonder

in their eyes.

Discovery.

That was us.

- Yeah, once upon a time.

- Yeah, well.

I don't care if it's this

horrible cycle where we fight,

and we make up, and fight.

I don't care how many times

we have to go through this

as long as we get to

the part where we make up.

- My husband spends

a lot of time away.

Taking pictures,

writing these fascinating

stories about people

all over the world.

And he feels alive.

More alive than

when he's with me.

But I don't appreciate

him when he's home.

And I should try.

Oh, the marriage,

otherwise known as adjusting

expectations for adults.

- You are the greatest story

I have ever known.

I'm sorry.

- Do you remember that, um,

assignment that I was going

to take in South Africa?

- What did you do?

- I turned it down.

You know, it's just,

it's always the story

after the next story,

after the next story,

and five years have gone by.

I haven't taken a break.

- But you wanted to do it.

- There's always another story.

- I hate you.

- As you've said.

- Did you do this for me?

- For us.

- God, you are such a dork.

- What will your husband think?

- I think he's gonna

be really upset.

- Yeah.

Good, maybe he'll

throw some sh*t around.

- Don't look at me,

I feel naked.

- I'm blind now.

- Precisely.

- Well, don't look

at me, I feel naked.

- Okay, fine.

- Close your eyes, god.

Are your eyes closed?

- Yes.

- Good.

Now what?

- Whoever can't come up with

a question loses the game.

Why are we playing this game?

- How else are we gonna deal

with what just happened?

- "What just happened"?

- Where were we

before we were here?

- You don't know?

- Are you trying to make me mad?

- Didn't I save your life?

- What are you thinking?

- Why did you kiss me?

- Do you want me to kiss you?

You lost the game.

- Okay, I lost the game.

- Remember that

hot dog we buried?

- What are you talking about?

- You don't remember?

The barbecue at your dad's

place when we were like six.

Labour day weekend.

- Oh my god,

that was forever ago.

- Your mom made us this huge

pitcher of pink lemonade.

- And you drank half of

it yourself, you fatty.

My dad gave you

the bigger hot dog.

It was probably the

biggest hot dog there,

it was bigger than your face.

No, it was bigger

than your face,

and you had a pretty big face

when you were little.

- Compared to your body.

- I ate like 25% of it.

- Yeah, but you didn't

want to throw it away.

- I had a better plan.

- To bury it.

- You thought it would

grow into a hot dog tree.

- You were into it.

- No, I remember thinking

it was the stupidest

thing at the time.

- We were definitely partners

in crime on that one.

As a matter of fact,

if I remember correctly,

you wanted to plant flowers

on our little hot dog grave.

- Cornelius, like,

dug it up 20 minutes later

and dropped it at my dad's feet.

- Cornelius.

And your dad, what does he do?

- He just picked it up and

started waving it around

like a sword, and goes,

"is this your wiener,

young man?"

So serious.

- Yeah, I think I almost cried.

- You did cry, for like an hour.

- You know, it's so funny

how you can remember

a hot dog from 10 years ago,

but you can't remember

what happened yesterday.

- You were wearing

this yellow t-shirt

and these ridiculous overalls

that were rolled up

like 12 times to your knee.

- It was green, not yellow.

- It was yellow, I remember,

because you were doing

this whole sailor moon

prism thing on me.

- How do you remember that?

- When it's quiet,

I can remember anything.

- Well, aren't you cool.

- Yeah, pretty much.

- Time is a funny thing.

Sometimes,

I do this thing...

Where I cover my eyes and

I count down from seven.

And when I hit one,

I pretend I disappear.

- You just go away?

- Yeah.

- Can I come with you?

- Okay.

Close your eyes.

Seven.

- Six.

Five.

- Four.

- Three.

- Two.

- One.

- We're still here.

- Shut up.

- Okay.

- Well, well, well.

- Nothing happened.

- Oh, I know, it's written

all over your face.

I'm just playing with you.

- Why are you still here?

- Reconciling time and space.

- No, but seriously.

- Oh, I'm serious.

- I'm going to Stanford

in September.

- And your girlfriend's

staying here?

- She's not my girlfriend,

but yeah.

- So really, you're asking

yourself, is it worth it?

- I'm not saying

it's not worth it.

- Look, man, I get it.

I was you once.

You just gotta live.

Feel it out.

You know, this isn't

some giant test,

there's nothing

to study for, so,

there's no right answers.

Life's gonna take

you a lot of places.

Just don't forget

the people you love.

- You know, you're

not such a bad guy.

- You mean I might actually

be a nice guy like you?

- Don't push it.

- Ah, sh*t.

- Who were you

talking to out there?

- Just myself.

- Weirdo.

- I gotta get that fixed.

- Just hold on a second.

- Try it now.

Holy sh*t, it works.

- I fixed it.

- How did you do that?

- Well, you see the

self-timer and the spring

for the shutter are connected,

so it wasn't broken,

it just was stuck.

I just unstuck it, see.

I like fixing

and building things.

- If you could build anything,

anything at all,

what would it be?

- Promise you won't laugh.

- I promise.

- So...

This.

Here is the chamber.

And inside of it is another one.

And basically,

all around us are tiny wormholes

that are so small that

we can't even see them.

But what this machine

would be able to do

would be to combine

those wormholes together

to make a big one.

So that way we would be

able to push negative energy

and atoms from one

wormhole to the next,

through a universe.

So essentially if it worked,

then we'd be pushing

matter through time.

Sometimes I wonder

how we'll come out

on the other side.

I think we'd still be us,

but different.

- That's amazing.

- I think everyone's

gonna think I'm crazy.

- I don't think you're crazy.

- Well, that's 'cause

you're crazy, too.

- Yeah.

- I'll be right back.

- Where would you go?

If you could use it?

- I'd probably go back, tell

myself not to worry as much.

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