One Night in the Tropics Page #4

It's very hot down there. I won't

need it. The nights are chilly.

In San Marcos?

No.

Well, I guess you go your way

and I go my way.

Yes. I go your way and you go...

I go.

How's about a farewell snort?

The boat sails in an hour.

It'll have to be just one.

Oh, just one, Stevie-weevie.

All right.

Oh, yes.

I'm sorry I have to leave so soon.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Five minutes of 4:00.

Where is that guy?

Maybe he's over

at my hotel suit.

Costello!

Not your suit, your suite.

You're cute too, Abbott.

I like you.

Stop it! There's no time for that!

I can't even get him on the phone.

You go to the taxi stand and wait there.

You go to the hotel and see if he's left yet.

Get goin'!

All right, all right!

Come here! Where are

you going? Over this way!

It's a low grounder.

Ball game!

There's the throw.

Dizzy Dean is safe at first base.

Dizzy Dean on first base!

You like ball games?

I love 'em.

Come here.

Don't say a word to Roscoe.

I have a ball team. You have?

Sure. They give ballplayers nowadays

very peculiar names. Funny names?

- Nicknames. Like Dizzy Dean, Daffy Dean.

- His brother Daffy.

What's the fellas' names? Let's see.

Who's on first, What's on second,

I Don't Know's on third.

That's what I wanna find out.

I'm saying Who's on first, What's

on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Are you the manager? You know

the fellas' names? Well, I should.

Who's on first?

Yes.

I mean the fella's name. The first

baseman. Who. Who is on first.

That's what I wanna find out.

That's what I'm telling you.

You got a first baseman?

Who's playin' there? Certainly.

Yes. Who. I mean the

fella's name. On first base.

That's the man's name.

That's whose name?

Yes. Have you got a contract

with the first baseman?

Naturally.

Who signed the contract?

You wouldn't expect anybody

else to sign it. But who?

Yes.

When you pay off the first

baseman, who gets the money?

Every dollar of it. Yes.

He does? Every buck.

Every buck.

He gets every buck.

Mm-hmm.

All I'm tryin' to find out is what

is the fella's name on first base.

Now, wait.

What is on second base.

I'm not askin' who's on

second. Who is on first.

I don't know.

He's on third.

How did I get on third base?

You mentioned his name.

I mentioned his name? If I mentioned the

third baseman's name, who did I say's on third?

Oh, no. Who's on first!

Never mind first!

I wanna know what's the fella's

name on third. But What's on second.

Who's on second?

Who's on first.

I don't know.

He's on third.

There I go, back on third

again. I can't help that.

Let's stay on third,

don't go off it.

What is it you wanna know?

Who is playing third base?

Why do you insist on putting

Who on third base?

Who am I putting on third?

Yes, but we don't want him there.

You don't want who there?

No.

So what's the guy's name belongs

there? What belongs on second.

Who belongs on second?

Who is on first.

I don't know.

Third base.

Third base? Now I'm back on

third base. I can't help that.

You got a pitcher?

Naturally.

What's the pitcher's name?

No, What is on second.

Who's on second?

Who's on first!

I don't know!

Third base!

I'm a catcher too, you know. What about it?

I'll catch on your team.

The heavy hitter gets up. So?

He bunts the ball. Me, being a good

catcher, I wanna throw the ball to first.

So I throw it to who? Now, that's

the first thing you've said right!

That's the first thing

I said right.

I don't even know

what I'm talkin' about!

Mm-mmm!

When I pick up the ball,

I throw it to first, who gets it?

Right, right.

Absolutely right.

If you throw to first,

Who is bound to get it.

I don't know!

Third base!

What time is it?

Oh, it's about half past 2:00.

Half past...

I really ought to be going. It's

wonderful how you hold your drinks.

Oh, liquor never affects me.

Hey! Who do you think you are,

Humphrey Bogart?

Oh! Humphrey Bogart!

Can I have your autograph?

Quiet! That's the boss!

Quiet, mug!

I'll ship this case of scotch to

San Marcos. Get her outta here.

I go where I like when I like.

Get her outta town.

Where to, boss? Kansas City.

A nice, dry, cool place.

You heard what the boss said. Come on. Hey.

I will punch you

right in the nose.

You gonna punch me right

in the nose? That's right.

Not around it? Right in it? No. Yes.

A tough kid.

Toughie!

Feel that. Not there. Here. Oh.

Feel that. Go ahead.

- That's enough. Let go!

- All right, all right.

- Come on, come on. Get her out of town.

- Okay, boss.

Get out of the way. You heard

the boss. Hey, you let go of me.

Come on, outta here! Get

outta here! I won't go!

Open the door.

I can't. I got my hands full.

Ah, you!

Come on, out!

No soap, sir.

The lady refuses to see you.

She says she'll remain in her cabin

as long as you're onboard.

What does she want me to do,

jump overboard?

She made some

such suggestion, sir.

I'll wait here.

I sent another note in with her tea.

If you glance in, sir, you'll

see your efforts are hopeless.

That's her cabin there?

Yes, sir.

Why didn't you tell me before?

You didn't ask me, sir.

That's fine, steward,

but you forgot the salted almonds.

Sorry, madam. I'll bring them. Oh, steward,

and will you tell Mr. Moore to climb a tree?

Yes, ma'am.

- "You and Your Kiss"?

- What?

I mean, can you play it?

Oh, sure.

Good.

Thanks.

"You and Your Kiss. "

Sorry, sir, but the young lady said

to... Go climb a tree. Thank you.

In all my lonely life

I never guessed

That I'd be blessed

with one like you

My poor unworthy heart

Is so impressed

It's too enormous

To be true

Stronger than the ocean

You and your kiss

Splendid as the sun at noon

Uh, seaman's fund.

Tender as a love song

You and your kiss

Just imagine

One poor me

With such a luxury

What can I exchange for

You and your kiss

Just a heart

And nothing more

In my most fantastic dream

I stood here

Like this

Waiting for

You

And your kiss

Well, that's one way

to get a lady out in the open.

I meant every word of it.

Speaking for Steve, of course.

If you're speaking for Steve, you

can talk to yourself. Cynthia, please.

You made a terrible mistake last night.

You mean, I saw a terrible mistake.

You certainly did. Mickey isn't

Steve's girlfriend. She's mine.

Oh, does that make her

community property?

Uh, the phone booth?

Mm-hmm.

Well, you see, Mickey

has a very peculiar drawback.

She's even been to doctors about it.

Whenever she gets near a man,

she simply has to kiss him.

She must be nice to go around

with. She's a terrible problem.

- Practically, uh, psychopathic.

- Practically polygamous.

Well, why do you bother

with a girl like that?

I sometimes wonder myself.

So you see,

Steve is an innocent victim.

I still don't see why he

didn't tell me himself.

Well, there seemed to be

something wrong with your phone.

It had off-the-hook trouble.

So you won't let a silly misunderstanding

like that interfere with your marriage?

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