One Night in the Tropics Page #5

You seem to feel

very strongly about it.

Oh, I do. You and Steve were

simply made for each other.

So you will forgive him,

won't you?

All right, John Alden, you win. Mr. Moore.!

Mr. Moore!

Radiogram, sir.

Thank you.

Um, excuse me, please.

Oh, yes, you go right ahead.

Bad news?

Oh, no, good news.

Uh... Uh...

Steve is flying down to San

Marcos. Wonderful! Let me see!

Oh, it slipped

out of my fingers.

Come, Chi Chi.! Come to Mama.!

Come, Chi Chi. Come to Mama.

Aw, that's a good boy.

Chi Chi!

Chi Chi! Chi Chi, oh!

You saved him!

Young man, you're a hero.

You are a hero.

Why, I wouldn't lose Chi Chi for

a million dollars! A million...

Now, there's a man.

What's his name? Jim Moore.

Jim Moore.

I knew it. He loves dogs

and he adds up to eight.

If you must marry somebody,

why don't you marry an eight man?

Oh! You forget.

I'm engaged to marry Steve.

And you forget you hate Steve. That's why

we're going to San Marcos. Oh, no, darling.

We're going to San Marcos

so I can marry Steve on Saturday.

Your nuts, madam.

I certainly am.

Greetings on your beloved return

to our pleasure domes.

Here in San Marcos,

our chief industry is love...

and our chief export is happiness.

Senor Escobar, still the same

cute old horse thief.

More and more,

I feel that this ain't Kansas City.

You shouldn't have let her buy the

tickets. Don't be so suspicious.

I just took the longest way around so

I could spend more time with you angels.

Be good boys and tell me a

joke. I don't know any jokes.

I know one.

You know what?

I wrote it myself.

Behave yourself.

Brand-new story. Nobody ever heard it

before. You wrote it? And it's brand new?

Yeah. She'll like it. You'll get

a kick out of it. Is it funny?

Yeah. The only thing is, I tell

it by myself. Brand-new joke.

It's all about a whale,

a ship and Jonah.

It's funny.

Don't worry, she'll laugh.

- Once upon a time there was a whale...

- What kind of a whale?

A plain, everyday whale.

How do I know what kind?

What do you think, I hang around with 'em,

belong to a whale gang? All right. Shh.

A whale, that's all. The father

to the sardine. Yes, all right.

Now, the whale was in the ocean...

What ocean? What ocean?

An ocean. A plain,

everyday ocean! An ocean.

Pick out an ocean. What do I

care? That's immaterial to me.

Okay, the Immaterial Ocean.

Oh, what kind of a story is this?

The whale was in the ocean,

mindin' his own business,

but he was followin' a ship...

What ship?

A ship that swims in the water.

- You mean a swim ship?

- Yeah. Now, the whale was followin' the swim ship...

Who ever heard of a swim ship? I

don't know. You're telling the story.

Let me tell the story!

Stop interruptin' me!

Keep your mouth shut.

Go ahead.

Now, the ship was following

the whale... The what?

Now I got the ship followin' the

whale. The whale was following the ship.

The whale was following the ship

because he was hungry. Naturally.

Captain Jonah

was captain of the boat.

He don't want the whale

to capsize the boat,

so he threw the whale over a barrel

of apples. What kind of apples?

Irksome, isn't he?

What kind of apples?

Apples that grow on a tree.

Well, there's all kinds of apples.

There's Baldwin apples,

frost apples... Crab apples!

All right.

Excuse me.

He threw over the crab apples, and the whale was

still hungry, so the captain threw him over a stool.

What kind of stool?

Who said that?

I did, in case you asked. Three-legged

camp stool, it was, precisely speaking.

After he did that,

the whale was still hungry.

Then Jonah figured the only way I

can save the boat and my passengers...

is to sacrifice myself,

and he did.

He threw a beautiful jackknife dive

right into the mouth of the whale.

The whale ate Captain Jonah, the apples

and the stool, and then the whale swam away.

How much more of this story

have you got to tell?

Just another second!

What do you keep interruptin' me for?

Go ahead.

Aw, biffle diffle!

Hear. Hear. Hear.

Now you made me say a bad word.

Please. It's all right.

Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Three years later,

they caught that same whale,

they cut him open,

and what do you think they found?

Now you get ready to laugh. Wait a

minute. Just one more interruption.

You're not trying to insult this

little girl's intelligence...

by getting away with that old story

about the time they caught the whale,

cut him open and found Jonah

seated on that stool...

selling apples

three for a nickel, are you?

That's not the...

No, it couldn't be

that story.

I mean, every little schoolboy

knows that story.

But you tell us. What do they

find when they cut the whale open?

Come on. What do they

find when they cut the...

Don't laugh. I enjoy

a hearty laugh as well as you do,

and if it's funny, we'll

both enjoy a hearty laugh.

Senorita, there's no danger

in bullfighting.

But there is in watching the glance

from a lovely woman's eyes.

Oh, that's a very

gallant remark, senor.

What can a man say with

so much beauty before him?

Hmph.

Isn't Rudolfo wonderful?

Just wait till you see him in his

cute little toreador suit. I can wait.

Uh, my car... I should say,

our car, is here, senorita.

What do you mean, "our car?" I, Rudolfo,

am showing the town to the senorita.

And I, Cynthia Merrick,

am looking forward to it.

And I, Kitty Marblehead,

shall take Chi Chi down to the briny.

Don't you think you should

take a bullfighter along?

A bull... Uh... Oh, yes! Yes, of

course. And he only adds to seven.

Won't you come with us, Rudolfo?

But I, Rudolfo, cannot swim.

That's what would make

it interesting. But...

Isn'tJim

a simply charming fellow?

All I can say, senora,

is I wish he were a bull.

That looked likeJim

with that Merrick dame.

It sure did. Nonsense. It's

only the sun in your eyes.

Is that what it is? Sure. Come

on, boys. Come on. Get out.

Ah, greetings to our...

Thank you very much.

I'm looking for a man

called Steve Harper.

Greetings to our pleasure domes...

That's enough. Has he arrived?

Very soon. He's to be married

on Saturday. Not while I'm here.

Ah, greetings to our pleasure

domes. Thank you. I'm in a hurry.

But you've just arrived and

you must be greeted, no? No!

Why, I'm awfully sorry.

May 12 again.

Ha...

Back in my shell

Like a respectable clam

No more love

No more grief

Back in my shell

We two is partin', madam

No more love

Just relief

We've seen the town

We had a stylish romance

You'd tear me down

But you ain't gettin' the chance

My rockin' chair is callin' me

Socially, honey

I'm through

Howdy do

And farewell

Because I'm crawlin' back

In my shell

No sense in grievin'

We had an even break

All along

Don't crave no Swanee

Frankie and Johnny

Downhearted song

about me doin' you wrong

Back in my shell

My evenin' paper in hand

I'll just sit

And expand

I'll give you air

As of tonight you is free

I'll give you air

Before you give it to me

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