One Touch of Venus

1

Hatch! Mr. Hatch!

Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Crest?

Mr. Savory wants to see you.

Mr. Savory?

Ooh, boy.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Crest.

You will be.

Now, come on. Get going.

- Yes, sir.

- Don't keep Mr. Savory waiting.

- No, sir, I--

- He wants you to do

- some special work in the art gallery.

- Yes, sir.

Well, I'll just be a minute.

I'll get this right done right now.

There we are.

Excuse me, I--

Hatch, get a move on!

There we are. Now, see?

It's all finished now, Mr. Crest.

- Ow!

- Oh! I'm awfully sorry.

- Did I hurt you?

- Get going, Mr. Hatch.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Eddie! Eddie?

Oh, hi, Gloria.

I was just up to the model home exhibit.

They have the darlingest kitchen.

All electric.

Push a button and you can cook

without knowing how to cook.

No. Well, I'll see you later, honey.

Where are you going?

I'm going up to the Fine Arts Department.

Mr. Savory wants me to do

a special background

- on some new artwork.

- Mr. Savory?

Oh, gee, Eddie, did he pick you to do it?

Well, it's special work, Gloria.

Not everybody can do it.

Oh, Eddie, if you make

a good impression on Mr. Savory,

why, he might give you a raise

or a better job, and then--

Uh, yeah.

Well, let's talk about it

some other time, shall we?

Oh, Eddie. You do want

to get married, don't you?

Oh, of course, Gloria.

Of course. But--

I-I'll see you later.

- Oh, Mr. Hatch?

- Yes, sir?

Oh. Hello, Joe.

Hello, Eddie.

Say, Gloria was just up here.

- Did you meet her on the way down?

- Yeah, I saw her.

Hey, come on in and take a look

at the model home.

Gloria was crazy about it.

Oh, well, she would be.

She's practically in her

wedding veil every minute.

One false move from me,

and I'm going to be on my honeymoon.

Aw, Gloria's a wonderful girl, Eddie.

Oh, well, I know she is,

but she's so terribly one-track-minded.

Why, even when we have dinner together,

the only thing she ever eats is rice.

Holy mackerel, it's closing time.

Look, Joe, I'm going to

have to work late tonight,

so will you pick up Gloria for me

and take her to Tony's?

- Sure, I will.

- All right.

And I'll get there as soon as I can.

- Oh, and save me some spumoni.

- Sure.

Closing time, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm sorry.

You've been after this Venus statue

a long time, haven't you, Mr. Savory?

Ever since I opened

the art gallery here in the store,

it's been my dream to add

the Anatolian Venus to my collection.

What did this dream set you back?

Well, let's put it this way:

the store will not declare

a dividend this year.

Please! Must we talk dollars and cents

about this priceless piece?

The last "priceless" on it was 200,000.

- 200,000?

- Wow!

Did you get someone to fix those drapes?

Yes. Eddie Hatch.

He'll be here any minute.

He's a good boy.

He's been with us for eight years.

There he is.

Is the statue for sale, Mr. Savory?

- Hello, Eddie.

- Hello, Miss Grant.

Mr. Savory sent for me.

Must be pretty important.

Yes, he wants you to fix the drapes

in front of the statue.

It jams when you pull the cord.

- You fix, huh?

- Is that all?

Well, that's all for now, Eddie.

- Hurry it up, will you?

- Yes, Miss Grant.

- Good boy.

- Oh, Miss Grant.

- May I have one, please?

- Oh, certainly.

Oh, wait a minute.

The good side.

To Venus, the goddess of love.

May she stay on the job

and take care of all of us.

- To Venus.

- To Venus.

Whitfield, darling!

Hello, Barbara.

What is all this about a certain

most eligible bachelor

falling in love with a statue?

Perhaps, my dear,

she reminds me of you.

Yeah. They both have large pedestals.

Whitfield. You remember

my daughter Brenda?

Not little Brenda?

You've, um, grown, Brenda.

Hatch is waiting, chief.

He finished the drapes.

Oh, excuse me.

Whitfield hasn't seen Brenda

since she was a child.

He used to bounce her on his knee.

Well, bully for Brenda.

I've been his secretary for 10 years

and I haven't made it yet.

Pardon me.

Now, we'll see if it works easily.

You see? It jams there.

Yes, sir.

I don't know what could

have happened to it, I--

I want that material to go up smoothly

so that the statue

will be revealed dramatically.

- Yes, sir.

- Now, use your head, Hatch.

I don't want to have to fumble with that rope

like a fool in front of all my friends.

No, sir. I'll take care of it, sir.

Hurry up.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Savory.

You forgot your--

Golly, you're beautiful.

Please! How can I fix this

if you don't stand still?

I'm all right. I'm all right.

Just a little overworked,

maybe, but I'm all right.

You're moving!

Was it you who kissed me?

You're talking! You're alive!

Well, of course I'm alive.

What did you think I was?

Well, I'm not very bright,

I... thought you were a statue.

Excuse um-- Brandy!

Smelling salts!

Spirits of ammonia!

Poor mortal. Are you frightened?

Frightened?

I don't know the meaning of the word.

Why, you darling.

You are frightened.

Well, just from the toes up.

Come here.

Come here to me.

Close to me.

Oh, he's wonderful.

Thank you, Jupiter.

There, that's better.

What? How did I get out here?

I brought you out. Fresh air.

Oh, thanks.

I guess I fainted, didn't I?

I-- I was working on the draperies

around the statue,

and all of a sudden

I had the strangest feeling,

some kind of a delirium.

I dreamed that the statue came to life.

It spoke to me.

- Isn't that silly?

- How do you feel now?

Oh, I feel much better, thank you.

Just rest.

There, isn't that nice?

Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh, I--

Excuse me, but I...

get back to my dr--

It was you! The statue!

- Well, of course.

- You came to life!

Now, don't ask a lot of questions.

You'll only get confused.

Get confused?

I'm spinning like a merry-go-round.

Look--

Look, let's get this straight.

Just a few minutes ago,

you were cold marble.

Yes, you were!

I could feel you!

Please!

And now you're--

And now?

Don't come near me.

I'll scream.

Oh, aren't you ashamed?

A big boy like you

scared to death of a girl.

Yeah, but you're not a girl.

You're a statue.

Are you a betting man?

Well... you were a statue.

Oh, look, I don't understand any of this.

Who are you?

I am Venus, daughter of Jupiter,

goddess of love.

Oh, I'm very glad to know you.

My name is Hatch,

Eddie Hatch, Display De--

- Goddess of what?

- Love.

The word seems to displease you.

Oh, no, Your Majesty, it's just that--

Call me Venus.

Venus.

Could I go now?

You don't want to stay here with me

in the moonlight... alone?

Well, if you won't think

it's impertinent, frankly, no.

See, uh-- Excuse me.

It's just that some friends of mine

are waiting for me for dinner.

The little Italian place, Tony's.

They might be worried about me.

Sounds charming.

I will go with you.

Oh, no, no.

You wouldn't like it.

They don't cater very much to goddesses.

Well, see you around.

...Venus who started the Trojan War

with "I love you."

Some of you may recall the myth

that Jupiter once breathed life

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