Only You Page #2

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of your business, sweetie.

- Maybe it's for the best.

- What? For the best?

How can it possibly be for the best?

It's not my fault things didn't work

out with you and your girlfriend.

-Miss! -Maybe it's better now

than five years from now.

Oh, is that supposed to make

me feel better, Mrs. Freud?

- Miss!

- Because it doesn't, okay?

I'm sorry, I was trying to help.

You want to help, why don't

you join the Red Cross?

You want a refund on your tickets?

- Yes, get me a refund.

- Call Santa's little helper.

Miss, I'm growing roots here.

Open that goddamn... open that door!

- Forget it!

- You are all the same! All you women.

- You're all in cahoots together.

- It's Christmas Eve!

Miss!

What?

Nothing, we'll go to Helsinki.

Merry f***ing Christmas.

- Have you seen my wife?

- Merry Christmas, Daddy!

Kids!

Hey! Oh...

Ah, "It's a Wonderful Life."

Janie, Tommy!

Seen it.

Where did you...

Come back here, you drunken fool!

I want to live again!

Thank God.

Huh?

Oh.

Hi, Merry Christmas.

Clifford, Marty.

Oh, hi, Marty.

I feel terrible. My best friend in

the whole world reaches out to me

and I was too ignorant to see.

What are you talking about?

Look, Rosemary and I insist...

We insist that you spend

Christmas Eve with us.

No, I've already got plans, buddy.

No, we won't take no for an answer.

No, Marty...

Pal, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

A lot of people are alone Christmas Eve.

No, no, really, I got plans.

I'm all set up here.

I'm on my way out the door.

You wouldn't lie to your best friend.

Come on, would I be alone

on Christmas Eve?

Good to be around friends

on the holidays, isn't it, Ed?

Sure is, Cliff.

I mean, you really follow that

ball like nobody's business.

Mm-hmm.

- Sam?

- Yeah?

Can I get another one of those

Molson and shot things?

It's called a depth charge, Cliffy.

- Whatever.

- It's gone.

Eddie, why don't you

take over here, okay?

Okay.

Hey, little buddy. How about

a little Christmas cheer?

Just get Sevi a Jameson.

Turkey, then, Sam.

In a minute.

How about some coffee?

I'll have another.

Don't you think you've had enough?

Am I still conscious?

Yeah.

Then I'll have another.

What?

This girl over there. Her name is Amanda.

So?

- Her boyfriend just left her.

- Just get me another drink.

- I was dumped myself, all right?

- But, Cliff...

Just get me another drink, please, okay?

You don't have to be so testy, Sparky.

I'm sorry, Sam.

Would you mind if I sit with you?

Look, I don't want to be rude,

but I really don't want...

Oh, my God.

By all means, please.

Here we go.

Drinks.

Thanks, Sam.

Sure, Sparky.

Smooth, isn't it?

Yeah.

- What's your name?

- Clifford.

My friends call me Cliff. C-cliff.

C-cliff, I need to talk to somebody.

I'm here.

Something terrible

happened to me tonight.

- What?

- I'm sorry, I can't talk about it.

- It's too painful.

- Okay, that's okay. You don't have to.

Oh.

Ooh.

Yeah, I feel pain. I feel big pain here.

What happened?

Did your boyfriend dump you or something?

Oh.

Oh, that bastard.

No, his name was Max.

We were together for almost three years.

We were gonna spend

Christmas together in Rio.

Instead, I caught him

in bed with another woman.

You're kidding? That's awful.

How long had that been going on?

11 years. She was his wife.

Oh, the wench.

Gave that b*tch the weekends.

Did she have to have him on holidays?

You give 'em the moon,

they want the stars, huh?

Cliff?

Yes?

That's very beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

You know, you're an extremely poetic man.

Well, you're not the first to say that.

- Can I be honest with you?

- Please do.

You have hair.

Yeah.

And incredibly sexy eyes.

Yeah, two of 'em.

- I feel...

- What? What do you feel?

Very attracted to you.

- Really?

- Yeah, I feel an incredible amount

of "elestricity" between us.

I think that's just the alcohol talking.

Oh, I promise you, I am

not the least bit drunk.

- Okay.

- Whoa!

-Ow. -You know, you're in

no position, at this point,

to be attracted to another man.

It's too soon. You're too fragile.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Don't you find me attractive?

Oh, God. I'm sure you get

catcalls from priests.

- It's just that...

- Mm, Cliff.

There's a flame burning inside me

and I need your flesh

to soothe the fever.

I could do that.

Well, then get me outta here now.

Oh.

Check, Sam.

Come on. Please, God, please.

Come on.

Come on, please.

Yes!

Hola.

Hola.

Hola, hola, hola.

Ah.

Mm.

Good morning, muffin.

- Mm.

- Mm.

What? What is it?

- Who are you? Who are you?

- What? Who am I?

You're kidding, right?

Where the hell am I?

And what was I doing in bed with you?

Oh, boy, we got a lot to talk about.

Wait a minute. What are you doing?

- Who are you calling?

- 9-1-1.

No, that's not necessary.

Please just put the phone down.

One more step and I'll scream.

- Just give me the phone.

- Back!

Okay, I'm not moving.

Okay?

Now, I gotta tell ya,

I'm a little disappointed

at your reaction this morning.

I mean, we did do more than exchange

telephone numbers last night.

You mean, I...

Several majestic times, yes.

Oh, this isn't happening.

- Amanda...

- Oh, God, you know my name.

Amanda, it is me, Clifford.

It's Big Cliffy.

The man you called

your holiday love bunny.

- Yes.

- Oh, I get it. This is a joke.

You're a friend of my brother's...

No, it is not a joke.

I don't even know your brother.

We're not friends.

I've never met your brother.

We met last night at Sam's bar.

We had a few drinks, we fell in love,

now here we are.

I'm sorry, I just can't remember.

I must have had too much

to drink last night.

You're telling me

you don't remember anything?

What you're telling me is...

What you're telling me is you

don't remember anything...

Anything... that happened last night?

- Sorry.

- I don't believe this.

I mean, I was so good last night,

I'm screaming my own name.

They're gonna have to change

the springs on the bed...

- Look, Biff...

- Cliff.

My name is Cliff.

Whatever. Let's just

forget about last night.

Could you call me a taxi?

- Amanda?

- Yeah?

There is something you should know.

Yeah?

You see, last night, you were very...

You were very, very upset.

And, well, you asked me to take you away.

Oh.

Honestly, you don't need to explain.

No, I think I do.

Oh, I get it.

You're worried about what kind of guy

I think you are for bringing me to a...

Hold that... a hotel.

- No, that's not it.

- You're married?

Well, you don't have to worry.

Your wife will never find out.

No, that's not it either.

- You see...

- Good-bye, Biff.

I don't think a

taxi's gonna get you home.

Wait, wait, muffin!

Do that again and you lose a finger.

Amanda, what do you have waiting

for you back in Chicago?

American

Airlines, how may I help you?

- Max?

- How do you know about Max?

You keep forgetting,

we got very close last night.

How could he do that to me?

I keep asking myself the same question.

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