Open Season 2 Page #2
I do.
And do you, Elliot...
...take Giselle to be
your lifelong mate?
That's you. Your line.
You go now.
Elliot. Go on, man.
- That's your cue. Go, go.
- Don't be shy.
Come on. Say it, you ninny.
Elliot, are you okay?
Come on, step it up.
I got a buck mitzvah at 3.
- Weenie! Weenie!
- Weenie?
- What, are you speaking French?
- Weenie! Oh, no!
Elliot? Where are you going?
Weenie, come back!
- Stop. Weenie!
- I must be strong.
- Weenie! Weenie!
- So good.
Weenie, over here! Weenie!
Here, boy!
Weenie!
Oh, no. Full moon.
Is that you? Mr. Weenie!
It's you! It's you!
I can't believe it's you!
It's a miracle.
He's been captured!
- What am I gonna do?
- Bob, it worked!
Oh, no, this is terrible.
Everything is okay.
Mommy is here.
He's being tortured!
No!
- No!
- No!
No!
No!
- What are you doing?
- What's this all about?
- You better have a good explanation.
- Yes! Yes, I do.
- Oh, I can't wait to hear this excuse.
- It was horrible.
Weenie was minding his own
business when she appeared.
He screamed,
but she ignored his cry.
And then she grabbed him
with her claws.
Oh, my goodness.
Then she tried to squeeze
the life out of him.
- That's horrible.
- Sad story.
But he fought back.
Oh, she tortured him.
Slapped him.
Poked his eyes out, like this.
It was horrible!
It was the worst thing I've ever seen!
Oh, the humanity!
Elliot, are you maybe putting
a little bit too much on that?
Listen, Boog, I'm telling the story.
And finally, the hairless blob
dragged him off...
...into her chariot of horror!
Wait, wait, wait.
So, what you're saying is...
- Mr. Weenie's been kidnapped!
- No.
- For real?
- Yes, it's true.
- Tough break. I miss him already.
- What now?
Well, we could finish the ceremony.
Come on.
I worked hard on those centrepieces.
As much as Elliot and I
wanna finish the ceremony...
...we need to go after Mr. Weenie.
- Giselle's right!
And until he's back in the safety
of our friends and family...
...in the warm caress
of our bosoms...
...there will be,
there can be, no celebration.
So, what can we do? Probably
halfway to the valley's end by now.
So? We can't give up.
We didn't give up on the hunters
when they raided the forest.
We can't give up on our friend
Weenie.
The Boogster's right.
Who's with me?
Oh, yeah. Count me in.
- Me too.
- Okay. Good. Who else is in?
I'm beeling at them bajins.
So let's quit bumping the gums...
...and give them a right chibbing!
I'm not sure what Squiz just said,
but I'll take that as a yes.
- Yes! It's a yes!
- I'm in too.
- Me too.
- I'm with you, buddy.
Sorry, I got the wife and kids.
You turn your back on the pelts
for one second...
...all heck breaks loose. I'm out.
- Oh, leave it to the beaver.
In your dreams.
I just had my nails done, girl.
Sounds fun, but I gotta stay
back and protect the herd.
You're all a bunch of meek- minded,
yellow-bellied, pansy-a...
As McSquizzy is trying to say...
...a smaller group
- We can move faster.
- Let's get a move on.
Move out, boys.
- Elliot?
- Yeah?
you big daftie!
I know that. Fall in.
Oh, Mr. Weenie, we've been
looking for you for so long.
It must've been horrible
out there all alone in the wild.
Oh, no one's gonna believe it!
Should I call the caravan, Bob?
Breaker, breaker, Fox Jaws.
- This is Mudflaps and Wild Man.
- Copy that. Over.
You'll never guess.
We found Mr. Weenie! It's true!
Say hello, Mr. Weenie.
- Did you hear that?
- Congrats, Mudflaps. Good to hear!
What's that, Bob? Oh, Wild Man says
we need to make a pit stop for a fill-up.
We'll see you
over at the campground.
- Over.
- Break er, break er, happy travellers.
Put your ears on,
I've got great news!
Mudflaps and Wild Man found
their long-lost weenie dog! Over.
Oh, man, is this good.
Hey, Fifi, you want some?
You know, Roberto,
those doggy treats...
...are filled with carbohydrates.
And if I could pronounce that word,
that would mean what?
It would mean you should
stick to the lean proteins...
...the meats, the poultries.
How are you gonna look
sitting by the pool?
- I don't know. Hot and really happy.
- That was rhetorical, moron.
Put down the treats.
You've eaten enough.
I'm going to pretend
I didn't see that.
- Hey, Fifi?
- Yes?
How long do you think it'll be
till we stop?
Because I gotta poop.
Seriously, I gotta poop really bad.
I said it was going to be a long ride,
but you never listen.
Just like you didn't listen when
I told you not to eat the entire burrito.
Now, you know what this
means I have to do.
Gosh, darn.
Every time we leave the house,
you put me through this...
Fifi! Fifi, stop!
- Do you hear me?
- Come on. Help a brother out.
What on earth has gotten
into that dog?
You know I hate doing this.
Yeah, but you do it so well.
Can you hurry it along?
Oh, there you are baby, Fifi.
One pit stop, coming up.
Oh, gross.
No, Fifi. No.
Break er, break er. This is Fox Jaws.
served up a can of gut soup...
...and we are talking chunky.
Let's pull off. Over.
Come on, you dumb cat.
Get off the road.
You two run along
while I get cleaned up.
Out of my way. Out of my way.
I don't wanna be rude, but I gotta go.
- Stanley, old buddy.
- Oh, here we go.
Stanley, it's been ages.
Actually, it's been exactly
one year, Roger.
Really? It seems like
such a long time.
Oh, I have to explain this again?
Okay, listen, we go to Pet Paradiso
every year at the same time.
And, painfully,
we have this same conversation.
- We do?
- Yes. Yes, we do.
Is this ringing a bell?
Stanley, it's been ages.
It's gonna be a long week.
Oh, Rufus. There you are.
How's my shining star?
Why, Charlene, look at you.
Don't you look prettier than a glob
of butter on a stack of wheat cakes.
Oh, goodness me.
- Thank you, Rufus. Oh, may I?
- Well, I'd be much obliged.
Hey, Fifi.
Did you hear they found Mr. Weenie?
- Isn't that great?
- Really?
- Are you sure?
- I heard he lived with wild animals.
No. That's horrible.
- He's lucky they didn't hurt him.
- Or kill him.
Or worse.
I was once in the vicious clutches
of wild animals.
- You were?
- I was.
What was it like?
It's too painful for me to talk about.
Gather round.
Okay, Fifi.
You want the squeaky toy?
There I was.
- All alone.
- You want it?
Alone in that steaming jungle.
That unforgivable heart of darkness,
where you can't see your own paws.
And the only sound is the frantic,
but adorable...
...pitter-patter of your own heart.
When suddenly...
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"Open Season 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/open_season_2_15317>.
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