Open Season 2 Page #3

They were everywhere.

There was no escape.

My life flashed before my eyes,

and then the unspeakable.

- What happened? Did you live?

- What happened?

I'll show you what happened.

Let this be a lesson to you all.

- How ghastly.

- It's so pink.

- That is one sad tail.

- I want a girlfriend.

Don't interrupt now. Please?

I lost two things on that day:

My innocence...

...and my squeaky toy.

Oh, you poor, sweet thing.

Speak of the devil.

- Disgusting.

- Oh, no.

Not the fuzzy little bunny.

Don't you understand?

We must remain vigilant.

Even one wild animal among us...

...can send us back to those dark days

of anarchy.

Come on, but he's so cute.

Pay attention.

Even one little fuzzy bunny

can infest us all.

Like the fleas on Roberto's back,

they must all be eradicated.

I'm gonna tear you apart.

Fifi! Heel!

One day, you vile little beast.

One day, I will personally

teach you a lesson...

...you will never forget!

I'm coming, Mother.

Hey, does anybody

know where we are?

Didn't think so.

- Isn't this great, Boog?

- What's great?

You know, not great that Weenie's

been kidnapped...

...but great that we're living life

on the edge.

It's just like old times.

- Two guys, out on the road.

- Hey, guys.

- Room for one more?

- For sure.

So, Elliot...

...now that we have

a moment alone...

Hey, what's that?

I've been thinking a lot

about what happened...

...at the ceremony this morning.

- What do you mean?

- Well, while I was saying, "I do"...

...you were looking like you didn't.

- What?

Giselle, don't be ridiculous.

Look, Elliot,

I know something is bothering you.

Ever since the ceremony,

you've been acting a little strange.

We're partners.

You can tell me anything.

All right, Giselle,

but remember, you asked.

Basically, I'm worried about

"forever and ever. "

"Forever and ever"?

About Mr. Weenie

being lost forever and ever.

So this has nothing to do with me...

...you're only worried

about Mr. Weenie...

...right?

- Yes, I am.

But I'm mostly worried about

you and me, our special day...

...and getting back to the ceremony.

But finding Mr. Weenie

could take a long, long time.

Could take months, really.

I mean, years, perhaps.

- A lifetime.

- Found him.

There he is.

- He's over there.

- She found him.

- Oh, way to go, Giselle.

- Giselle.

What luck, huh, Elliot?

We'll be back home

and married in no time.

Well, I mean,

that could be another RV, you know.

- There's Weenie in the window.

- He's waving at us.

- Here I am!

- Hi, Weenie.

- He's... That's a totally different dog.

- Nope. That's him.

We better keep looking.

Come back. You know we gotta

go get him out of there.

- Help! Help!

- No, I know that. I just...

What was the question?

- All right, here's the plan.

- That's all wrong.

Squizmeister, you and Buddy

will be the entry team.

- Roger.

- Serge, Deni.

Smash and grab.

Boog, you're with me.

Let's limit the casualties.

- All right.

- What about me? What can I do?

Well, yeah, that's right. What...

You stay there and guard the trees.

- Really? That's the best you could do?

- No, Elliot. Wait.

Hi there, folks.

I'd like to offer a complimentary

...while I fill up your tank.

- Restroom, please?

- Yes, ma'am.

- In the back.

- Thank you.

And may I suggest you trying

our famous pecan roll?

I make them myself. They're inside.

For a buck.

Two for $2.

Off the road!

Engine knock. Yep.

I'd know it anywhere.

Come on. Let's go. Quiet.

It's about time you got here, Boog.

Keep up.

- Deni and I are ready.

- Me too.

Oh, thank goodness.

You've come for me.

No need to worry.

Okay, we need a grappling hook,

a 30-foot rope...

...winch, pulley, truck with an open

engine block and a can of sardines.

Why don't we just

open the door, genius?

- I'm trying to think outside the box.

- Okay, single file.

- Stay quiet.

- Don't tell me to be quiet.

Tell the ducks to be quiet.

Weenie, it's all clear.

Come on. Let's go.

- Yeah, coming through.

- We need a new plan.

Everybody, quiet.

I need a minute to think.

- Time's up.

- I got it.

Plush.

Face it, Earl.

These folks are living your dream.

- That was close. I think we're clear.

- That's not part of the plan, Boog.

- From now on...

- Hey, fatso, shove off.

You're snapping my spine here.

Oh, suspension is shot.

Definitely shot.

Or it could be the bushings.

Bob, which one should I get

for our Mr. Weenie- Baby?

Stripes or plaid?

You're absolutely right.

- Please don't leave me.

- Mr. E's got you covered.

- Stand back.

- No.

Let me take a look-see.

Now, that is a sturdy piece

of hardware, right, guys?

- I'm doomed.

- Doomed, huh? Yeah.

Stay with me, boys. I got it.

Now I have to top off the fluids.

All right, go.

Come on with it.

Most likely the rear differential.

I was right.

Bob, should we get a pecan roll

for the ride?

- Elliot, you okay?

- Hey.

I'm getting sick and tired

of breaking your fall.

Get off me!

- Oh, yolk.

- It's okay, Elliot. I'm here.

Oh, these cheese doodles

are so good.

They really taste like cheese.

Snack time over? Come on.

We need to focus.

- Yeah. Focus on the Weenie.

- Come on, everybody.

- What he said.

- Quiet. New plan.

We need to lubricate the collar.

Good idea.

No, no. Something else, please.

Oh, Bob, do you think

Mr. Weenie will like it?

Hey, how about that pecan roll, huh?

Did I tell you?

Hey, could you be a sport

and grab that ladder?

- Okay.

- Oh, yeah.

- There's some more.

- Stop! Enough!

I'm not gonna lie.

It was a little scary up there.

My spine! You're killing me.

- That'll be $437.

- Incoming.

- Or I'll trade you.

- Double- time.

- Gas for that bearskin rug.

- I'm out of room.

- I'm out of air.

- Swing wide.

- Easy.

- Follow my lead.

- Come on now.

- Pull.

- Use your legs.

- Pull.

Oh, my gosh.

Did you see that, Bob?

The Weenie is free.

Let's make a break for it, boys.

Deni, follow me.

- Gregalach!

- Run like the wind.

Wait for me. I have teeny legs.

- I'm out. I'm stuck.

- I did it.

Take cover!

Elliot, you fool.

- Shake a leg, Weenie.

- What's going on in there?

Mr. Weenie, are you okay?

We did it. We're all safe, right?

Okay, roll call.

- Boog? McSquizzy? Deni? Serge?

- Here.

- Weenie?

- There.

- Where?

- Bye, now.

Oh, no.

Well, where's Buddy? Buddy?

Sound off, Buddy.

Here.

Well, you've screwed up again,

you one- horn dumpling.

- How did that happen?

- Oh, Elliot.

Imbecile.

What do we do now?

- We are missing two.

- Idiot.

Blaming Elliot for blowing the escape

isn't gonna help us find Mr. Weenie.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote