Open Season 2 Page #5

All you have to do is...

...roll over.

Roll over.

- He keeps saying that.

- All right, then.

We're going to have to

turn this up a notch.

- I don't really see the point.

- Rufus, get the instruments.

Here you are.

Oh, no.

Roberto, hand me the stick.

Oh, boy.

Listen carefully. Do as I say.

Please, no.

Fetch.

- Go on, Weenie, fetch.

- Come on, Weenie.

- Come on, Weenie. Now, come on.

- Get the stick. Go on, go on.

Come on, Weenie.

- You're almost there. You can do it.

- Go, Weenie, fetch.

I'm a wild. I'm a wild animal.

- And again with the nein.

- You are trying my patience.

You are no longer a wild animal.

You are a domestic pet...

...and domestic pets

must obey their master.

Now, hand me the squeaky toy.

- No.

- Yes!

- Okay, I hear you. Calm down. Relax.

- Yes, yes.

Squeak, squeak.

- It's a wild!

- He's so blue.

Not the Sunday edition.

Quick, Buddy, hop on.

- He's getting away.

- Please, Fifi, no running.

Buddy, get the electric collar off.

I'll stall them. Hurry!

- Help us out, Charlene!

- Oh, I can't. I got my rollers in.

- Weenie, you're so fast.

- Careful, Roger. You could...

- Too late.

- Go, Weenie, go!

Want another Shirley Temple there,

wild man?

Oh, my, what's that?

Is that Mr. Weenie?

Spread out.

I'm gonna take five.

Cut them off.

- Buddy, hurry.

- I'm trying.

Oh, no.

- We did it.

- Now get this sweater off.

It itches.

- That's nasty.

- I have had it.

No more. The wild animals

have pushed me too far!

The next wild I see

crawl out of that forest...

...if they don't have their papers,

they are getting a full Fifi smackdown!

This is war!

Oh, Fifi.

I really don't have the stomach

for this.

He smells like bad barbecue.

Mr. Weenie, are you all right?

Mr. Weenie, where are you?

He's gone, Bob. Oh, no.

We just found him,

and now he's gone again.

Weenie. My poor Weenie.

I wanna go home, Bob.

Please take me home.

Now, I've heard some folks say...

...the squirrel child

still roams these parts.

And some nights,

when the moon is full...

...and his monstrous buck teeth

ache to nibble...

...you might, if you're unlucky,

hear his bloodcurdling cry!

- Run!

- Let's move!

Sorry. All that food.

It's making me...

- Making me hungry.

- Is he kidding?

I'm so exhausted,

I couldn't eat a wee morsel.

That hits the spot.

Great. Even my roasting stick

is weak and pathetic.

Hey. Don't that look

just like my man, Elli...?

What was with Elliot

this morning anyway?

Oh, hey. I wonder what's in here.

Yes. Check this out.

This is a little something

Beth taught me.

These are called s'mores.

Try some.

They take your mind off of everything.

Clear your head. You ain't gonna

have nothing on your mind.

I hope it works.

You know what?

I'm glad Elliot's out of my life.

Come on. I know you guys

exchanged some words back there...

...but you're meant for each other.

- He's crazy about you.

- Really?

I bet Elliot's never once mentioned

that he loves me.

Has he?

Come on, we're guys.

We talk about guy stuff.

You know, like sports.

Rabbit bowling, rabbit tennis,

hockey with rabbits.

- I'll take that as a no.

- All right.

Take this marshmallow, for example.

It's great all by itself.

It's soft, fluffy and sweet.

Like you, Giselle.

Oh, Boog,

you're embarrassing yourself.

Stay with me.

Now, check out this chocolate bar.

It's awesome too.

It's full of caffeine and sugar,

and it make you spazz out.

Like Elliot.

And even though on their own,

both are great...

...neither are perfect, in my opinion.

But they are perfect together.

Come on. Give it a try.

That's it. There you go.

You're right, Boog.

- This is really good.

- That's what I'm talking about.

Unfortunately, some chocolate bars

feel that being in a s'more...

...is too much commitment

and would rather run free...

...instead of settling

for some marshmallow.

- You're missing the point.

- Now that the wedding's off...

...I bet Elliot's singing a new tune

and having the time of his life.

Cold. So cold.

I don't need anybody.

I can take care of myself.

This... This is a good

character- building moment.

Elliot, remember,

you are a wild creature toughing it out.

I'll find Mr. Weenie all by myself.

I don't need anybody.

And I definitely don't need a girlfriend.

So what if she tucks me in at night,

or listens to my problems?

Makes really good

pine- cone crunchies...

...or rubs my head

when I have sickies?

Criminy, what have I done?

Giselle!

Break er, break er.

Let's put the pedal to the metal.

Ten-four.

Roberto, come on now.

Hurry up.

Time to go to Pet Paradiso.

Did you hear that, Fif?

I'm so excited.

I'm looking forward

to the water slides and the buffet...

...and the pool and the babes.

How about you, Fifi?

- Easy does it. Keep that ice pack on.

- Shut up!

Good advice, bud.

Here.

- Here.

- What Deni's trying to say is...

...this is where the Weenie was.

- Gone.

- Oh, that's just great.

- Well, let's check it out.

- I'm on it.

What have we here?

Aye, Mr. Weenie was definitely here.

Come on, Squiz.

What else you got for me?

And over here,

a titanic battle ensued.

A battle? Are you serious?

- Is he for real?

- Wait, wait, look.

And here,

the unspeakable happened.

- What?

- What's the unspeakable?

It's unspeakable because

the tracks end here. I got bupkis.

- Oh, brother, you got to be ki...

- Where do you think they went?

How would I know?

I'm a tracker, not a bleeding psychic.

- What do you think, Boog?

- I don't know.

If only we had some kind of a sign.

- Come on, everyone.

- Oh, I hope this is the right way.

Stay sharp

and keep your eyes peeled.

Fifi, would you take a gander

at this?

This, my half-pint friend,

puts the P in "paradise. "

Oh, Roberto.

- I can't... I can't do this.

- Come on, Fifi.

I think a bald spot

makes you look more sophisticated.

- Singe is the new pompadour.

- Oh, shut up!

Sure thing.

We gave him everything

he could've ever wanted, right, Bob?

I don't know if we should

go on living without him, Bob.

No, no, no.

He would want us to go on

living our lives, wouldn't he, Bob?

Road hog!

I knew you'd agree.

I'm free, I'm free

Sing it with me, Buddy.

Free at last, free at last

What monstrosity is that?

Scary.

Elliot?

Where are the others?

Oh, they're rescuing

Mr. Weenie and Buddy.

- Hey, Buddy.

- Hi there.

- But Weenie...

- And Buddy.

- Are free like you.

Oh, yeah. I'm free.

Free to be alone

for the rest of my life.

You don't understand.

Our friends are heading

to Pet Paradiso.

Have them get me a T-shirt.

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