Open Season 2 Page #6

Synopsis: Elliott incessantly parades proudly with his antlers, until unwise rock-jumping sees them crushed, and thus his new pride. Bride Giselle thinks Elliott has commitment anxiety when he rushes off to take the lead in the rescue of canine buddy Mr. Weenie, who is kidnapped by a poodle's gang of master-devoted pets determined to reconvert him. The feral gang has great trouble even penetrating the heavily guarded holiday resort where the brainwashing attempt is happening.
Director(s): Matthew O'Callaghan, Todd Wilderman (co-director)
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
PG
Year:
2008
76 min
Website
2,226 Views


The pets, they hate the wilds.

They're in serious danger.

Wake up, mein Freund.

Weenie. When did you get here?

Don't you see?

Boog, McSquizzy, Giselle.

- They'll all be torn to pieces.

- Torn to pizzas?

- Pieces, you Strudelk opf.

- Pieces.

- Giselle's in trouble?

- Yeah, Giselle!

Well, why didn't you say so?

Giselle, my love!

- I'm coming to save you!

- You're going the wrong way.

No, I'm not...!

Goodbye.

Look at all those RVs.

Weenie must be here.

So how are we gonna get inside?

I'm a grizzly. No biggie.

We'll just walk in.

Look, just like that little guy.

Wild animal breach.

Okay. Who's got

the next brilliant idea?

Aye, it's easy.

We could tunnel our way in.

Or we could fly you all in.

Oh, there's a great idea.

A 1-pound bag of crazy

lifting a 1200-pound bag of lazy.

- What? I'm 900 pounds.

- That's crap.

- Oh, you think you so tough?

- Come on, is that your best shot?

- What do you got?

- Stop it.

- Stop it!

- Shove off.

Grow up, you two.

Now, come on. Let's stay on track.

It looks safe enough.

Follow me.

What's wrong?

Come on, spit it out.

Oh, you're so beautiful.

- Just like Mama.

- Okay.

I see a woman and her dog.

Yeah. Look again.

- Oh, I'm gonna have nightmares!

- Quiet.

Come along, Jezzabelle. Heel.

Hey, are you thinking

what I'm thinking?

Definitely.

There we go. Perfecto.

This is not at all what I was thinking.

- This'll never work.

- Yeah.

Sure it will. We look great.

What? I could sell this.

Is he serious?

Boog, the idea

is to blend in with the pets.

She's right. You look ridiculous.

All right, fine.

- But if things get all crazy...

- We'll come get you. I promise.

Do I really have to wear a bow?

I look like a jessie.

You're supposed to be a little dog,

and all little dogs wear bows.

What are you two looking at?

Keep an eye on them.

Deni, follow me.

Okay.

All the time, "Deni, do this, do that. "

Interesting.

Oh, poor Fifi.

Here. A little zinc will help

protect that tender pink skin.

Have fun now.

It's not bad.

No one will even notice.

No one will notice?

No one will notice?

No one will notice?

- No one will notice?

- Okay.

- No one will notice?

- Okay.

- He noticed. He noticed.

- Okay.

- I noticed.

- Take it...

- You noticed.

- I heard you.

- We all noticed. I noticed!

- I got it.

Forget about it.

Me and my big mouth.

- One king and two doggy beds.

- And can I have synthetic pillows?

This is so weird.

Classic flattop. One of my favourites.

Of all the stupid...

- Quiet.

- Fresh cut. Come and get it.

This is the strangest place

I've ever seen.

Let's find Weenie

and get out of here.

Just ignore them.

Keep walking. No eye contact.

What you looking at,

you wee bug-eyed freak?

McSquizzy.

What did I just say?

- Get down, everyone.

- Go get it, boy. Fetch.

Fetch. Fetch it, buddy.

- Mine, mine, mine.

- One more.

This place is giving me

the skeevies.

Giselle!

- My spine.

- We're here.

This looks nothing like the brochure,

right, Weenie?

Pets and their owners.

They look so happy together.

Oh, I don't know if I can go in there

without my mama.

Oh, forget Mama.

Giselle. We have to get in there

for Giselle.

- And the others.

- It's too much. I can't.

Repeat after me:
I'm wild.

I'm wild.

With conviction.

I'm wild!

- What was that for?

- That was payback.

Fair enough.

What was that for?

That one was just for fun.

Now, let's do this!

Might be a little cold.

That looks painful.

- Too hard?

- Poor guy, they stretched him out.

Another round, Mr. Bailey?

Another round, Mr. Whiskers?

Hey there, pretty lady.

Who's he calling a lady?

- Hey.

- Hello, baby.

Beat it, Doberman pinhead.

She's taken.

Good looks and funny too.

But I was not talking to the Dalmatian,

little Miss Sugar-Snack.

- Idiot. I'm not a girl!

- Hurry along. Let's not be rude.

Hey, chica.

You take care

of that body for Rico, huh?

"Take care of that bod"?

I'll give you "Take care of that bod,"

you big musclebound bag of...

- There, there. I see them.

- Look, I spotted them.

- I still got it, eh?

- Genius.

- Mr. Weenie.

- Show yourself, laddie.

Mr. Weenie?

Weenie?

Roger, something's not right.

Do you smell something fishy here?

Barracuda.

Weenie.

Where are you, you wee pup...?

Oh, goodness me.

I think we have some dogs

of a different breed.

The girl with the bow, she's mine.

- We have to go.

- Yes, we're late. Very late.

- Stanley, it's the fishies.

- Not now, Roger.

Oh, no.

My friends, today justice

wears a blue barrette...

...and a rhinestone collar.

Excuse me,

you got a wee something right there.

Quiet! Squirrel! Varmint!

- Quiet! Quiet!

- Come on, take it down a notch.

- Shut up!

- Deni, this does not look good.

- Let's go get Boog.

- Bad. Very bad.

- Quiet.

- Okay.

Elliot, Weenie.

Thank goodness you're safe.

- What are you doing?

- Who are you?

What do you mean?

I'm your best friend.

- McSquizzy?

- McSquizzy?

He doesn't even like you.

Look, I'm not talking to some

random overweight sheepdog...

...about my personal relationships.

- It's me, Boog.

- Boog's fatter. No way.

- Elliot.

It is you. Did you lose weight?

When did you start thinking

McSquizzy was your BFF?

Well, you were hibernating,

and we were hanging.

Turns out we have a lot in common.

We both like nuts.

- You are nuts.

- Stop this insanity!

- Where are the others?

- They're inside looking for you.

- And they've been captured!

- Captured?

Oh, come on.

Boog. I'm Boog.

No, Boog is a big fat guy.

- That's not you.

- I know.

- I thought that he was McSquizzy too.

- Okay, stop. Would you all stop?

- What do you mean, captured?

- They've been captured...

...by a gaggle of vicious domestics.

- Enough talk.

- Hang on there, E.

You don't wanna go stomping on

up in there.

- You're right. What we need is a...

- Don't say it.

Don't say it.

- Plan!

- This is not gonna work.

- It'll work.

Don't doubt me, number two friend.

- Trust the plan.

- Trust the plan.

- Well, that was easy.

- See?

- I told you it would work.

- Hey!

- Just a minute!

- The plan's not gonna work.

- The plan's not gonna work.

- Be cool. Hold it together.

Do you think you can just

waltz right in here...

...without your room key,

Mrs. Schlapiano?

You must've dropped this.

A voice like an angel.

- I wonder where I left my room key.

- Wait a second!

Nice try.

You're not fooling anyone

with that phoney disguise.

What are you wearing,

a porcupine on your head?

Get out of here, you vagrant.

- We made it.

- Yeah, that worked well.

Well, yes, because we had a plan.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

David I. Stern

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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