Open Water 2: Adrift

Is it recording?

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Can we clear this area, please?

See that?

I talk, people listen.

Hi, babe.

- Hi, babe.

- How are you?

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm good.

You having fun?

Yeah. Are you having fun?

- You look mighty tan.

- Hey!

Oh, my God!

Do it again.

Do it again. Ready?

Hold on.

Hey, dude.

- Zachy poo.

- What's up, baby?

Hi, Zachy poo.

I see.

You want to get in on this, Lauren?

Come here. Come on.

Who loves you, baby?

You do.

Of course.

Oh, I'm gonna throw up.

Shut up.

Are you a little jealous, Zach?

A little jealous?

I thought your girl was throwing me

some rhythm there.

What do you mean "my girl"?

Yeah, what do you mean "his girl"?

Come on, you two.

I ain't nobody's girl.

Enough with the charade.

All right.

Why are you still here?

Because nobody's following me.

Where are we, by the way?

Does anybody know?

El Matador, homey.

El Matador.

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

You guys are my best friends.

No sh*t.

Okay.

Hi, guys.

I'm totally gonna puke.

Guys, do you think...

Guys, do you think

we're gonna know

each other forever?

- Nah!

- Shut up.

I f***ing hope not.

Let's create some memories.

Come on.

Nice, Zach.

I can't drink, man.

I gotta do this to get high.

Oh, be careful.

Come on.

Hey!

Holy sh*t.

Pretty f***ing funny, Zach.

- Give me the camera.

- My f***ing arm.

Hey, man.

You all right?

Do I look all right?

He's over me.

Oh, that I don't believe.

Whatever.

No way any man could ever

get over you.

- Because I'm great in bed, right?

- Funny. Boy.

Wow. When's the last time

you saw these guys?

If you don't behave...

Oh, boy.

# Frere Jacques #

# Frere Jacques #

# Dormez-vous? #

# Dormez-vous? #

# Sonnez les matines #

# Sonnez les matines #

# Ding dang dong,

ding dang dong #

# Are you sleeping? #

# Are you sleeping #

# Baby Sarah? #

# Baby Sarah #

# She's not crying anymore #

# So I think that's good #

# Ding dang dong #

# Ding dang dong #

# Frere Jacques #

# Frere Jacques #

# Dormez-vous? #

# Dormez-vous? #

Hey, guys!

Hey!

Nice touch.

Damn.

Boy toys.

Hey, Lauren.

Amy!

- Hey!

- Wow!

What you got there?

Hi.

Wow. You have a family.

- Wow.

- Can you take her for a sec?

Okay.

- Good to see you.

- You, too.

You and Zach came together.

He just picked me up

at the bus station.

My butt's still dizzy. Whoa!

There you go.

Back to mom.

Wow, she's heavy.

Cute kid.

Thank you.

And where's the birthday boy?

Hey, mom.

Wow.

Hi. Who's this?

This is Sarah.

Hi.

I'm uncle Zach.

Yes. Oh!

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

So good to see you.

I'll second that.

James. Heard a lot about you.

Likewise.

Okay, let's go see this thing, huh?

Yeah.

Which one's the Godspeed?

I don't think it will be hard to spot.

Go on.

It's okay.

I promise.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco!

You're always cheating.

I'm only cheating if you lose.

Yo, d*ckhead.

Come on, Amy.

You can do it.

I'm right here, honey.

There you go.

Easy as pie. See?

Danny always said he'd be

a millionaire by 30.

Even back in high school.

You said the same thing.

Yeah, but I was kidding.

Let's give ourselves the tour.

Where the hell is he?

I don't know about you guys,

but I gotta pee.

Watch your step, babe.

Hey, Lauren, I think I found...

I guess not.

Classic Dan.

He's having breakfast.

Well, it's about time.

Who's next?

This little vixen is Michelle.

Say hi.

It's nice to meet you guys!

See you in, like, two minutes.

That's all it takes.

Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- Great.

Our daughter is scarred for life.

She'll either grow up

to be oddly attracted

to Popeye or a lesbian.

Yo. Where's my gift?

My presence is your present.

Awesome.

Do you have the receipt?

Jeez.

I wonder what this is.

# For he's a jolly big a**hole #

# For he's a jolly big a**hole #

# For he's a jolly big a**hole #

He's 30 f***ing years old.

Who modeled for these?

"Breast wishes."

Very clever.

Can't wait to taste them.

I wanted to get you real ones.

Okay.

# Yo ho ho #

# It's a pervert's life for me #

This is a nice f***ing boat,

Mr. Rockefeller.

Business must be good.

- You like, huh?

- Yeah.

Me, too.

I like very much.

And I want to keep it that way.

No smoking on board, birthday boy.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Baby's brand-new.

How long you been running drugs?

I prefer to make my fortune

the old fashioned way.

How's that?

With other people's money.

All right, so, this is just what...

Your getaway vehicle?

I like it fine where I am.

Hey, Sarah.

You want to take a nap?

There we are, huh?

Are you having fun

on this big ole bed?

Who's my girl?

You are.

Aren't you?

Now let's see if mommy can relax.

You've already done the hard part.

- You think?

- Sure.

You got on board.

You scaled the wall.

Your mommy's crazy, sweetheart.

I hope you'll come

visit me in the madhouse

when you're older.

No. Your mom's acting human.

Party time, people!

Nothing like starting the day

with a screaming orgasm,

isn't that right, baby?

I don't know, you tell me.

Look at that ass, Lauren.

It's time for you to stop being

the perfect, caring husband,

because I'm fine.

No more talk.

Time to get our groove on.

Are we getting old?

Not yet.

Good.

It's been one major

adrenaline rush for us

ever since we met.

So, uh, how many hours

has it been exactly?

For your information,

not that it's any of your business,

we've known each other

for exactly... um, babe?

Two weeks, one day,

and 41/2 hours.

She can tell time.

I'm impressed.

The natives are thirsty.

Must feed the natives.

Quench your thirst with a nice shot.

The cleavers have arrived.

And just in time.

Screaming orgasm, June?

I think your mother

may have dropped you

on your head one

too many times, Dan.

She's breast-feeding, you fool.

No sh*t.

It's just O.J.

Oh, thank you.

Why are you wearing one of those?

To cover my monster b*obs.

Monster b*obs.

That wasn't very funny.

Yeah, I know.

All right, no, seriously.

I'd first like to thank you all

for coming out here

and accepting my most humble

of invitations after all these years.

I appreciate it.

And I would like

to propose a toast

to our dear friend,

with a great ass, I might add...

Zach.

Happy birthday, old man.

Thank you.

Whoa. Whoa.

I dub thee captain for a day.

Hang on, hang on.

I'm not done with my toast yet.

Here's to staying single,

seeing double,

and sleeping triple.

No disrespect.

None taken?

- Salute!

- Cheers.

Salut.

Salut!

Come on, everybody.

Let's dance.

Baby.

Water's over there.

Let's do it.

Okay.

Very impressive boat, Dan.

Yacht, Jimmy.

It's a yacht.

So, you still cruising the world...

Aspen in the winter,

Maui in the summer?

Last winter, Japan.

Yeah. Instructing.

That was fun.

You can snowboard in Japan?

Yeah. Up north. Hokkaido.

Lots of Australians.

Cool.

Man, this is wild.

Ah, careful.

Easy, easy.

You all right?

Relax.

Where are all

the f***ing dolphins?

What are you talking about?

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