Opening Night Page #5

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Myrtle, for Christ's sake!

- What the hell are you trying to prove?

- Give me.

What are you trying to prove?

You're acting like some grade school

theatrical kid, for Christ's sake!

Everybody loves you.

- You're a super, high-priced professional.

- I'm what?

- Now, calm down.

- Huh? I'm what?

- Calm down, will you?

- What am I?

I don't know what the hell it is.

What is she?

Apolitical fantasy?

A - A frustrated vision

of Sarah's own inability?

I don't know anything about this play.

I don't know anything about this woman.

I told my wife tonight. I said, "Dorothy,

I don't know what this play is about."

- I don't know what this woman is about.

- Manny, Manny.

She's not even like some bum.

You know? She's not even a bum.

She's not a b*tch.

She's nothing.

She's nothing.

I mean, if I play her the way

everybody wants me to play her...

like some little over-the-hill matron...

my career is over.

I'm sick to death of hearing

how old this woman is.

Who gives a damn

how old this woman is?

- Does she win, or does she lose?

That's what I want to know.

- I know.

- Is that such a lousy question?

- I know, I know.

I'm beginning to feel guilty

for asking, for God's sakes.

##[Ballad On Piano]

I like the music.

It's a nice, soothing sound.

I used to play it on my stereo.

I was always alone.

Waiting for time to pass.

Waiting for night to come.

The movies don't start till 6:00.

I'd dream with the music...

until dinner.

Go to a movie...

or a concert.

Boys.

And men...

older men.

And boys...

always picked me up.

[Chuckling]

I don't want to hear

about your sex life.

[Sobs]

[Knock At Door]

What the hell are you doing?

- If I could rid myself of you--

- Are you going over your lines?

If only I didn't have to think about

what's gonna happen to you.

If I could rid myself of

the thought of being your wife.

Oh, my God.

I know you're frightened that I'm going

to go too far in the wrong direction.

- You're afraid I'm going to make

a fool of myself, aren't you?

- No.

You're afraid that

somehow my behavior...

- is going to undermine you.

- Don't, Myrtle.

- Here we go. Come on, Myrtle.

- Please, one autograph!

- All right, people.

- [Chattering]

Miss Gordon's late.

Would you let us through, please?

- Would you let us through, please?

- [Clamoring]

She'll sign all your autographs

after the performance.

- [Woman] Could you just sign one?

- We're late, darling.

Now, be sweet, sweetheart.

Let us through, huh? Would you

please let us through, darling?

- [Woman] Miss Gordon, please.

- I promise you -

- I've waited so long to see you.

- If you're patient...

right after the performance, Miss Gordon

will sign all your autographs.

- Let us through now. Let us through.

- Thank you.

- [Woman] One more.

- Right after the show, she'll sign

all your autographs, really. That's right.

Believe me, believe me. Right after

the show, she'll sign every one.

- We're late.

- [Crowd Moans]

- Oh, my God, it's--

- [Crowd Continues Chattering]

Be careful, Manny.

Kelly, you've gotta talk to Jimmy for me

about the props in the second act.

That cigarette lighter has to work.

And tell him to leave some matches

on the bar in case.

I'm going.

I'll be at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

The number is Crestview 6-2251.

If you need me,

that's where I'll be.

If you change your mind,

you call me.

[Applause]

No smoking, Mr. Victor.

[Phone Ringing]

[Continues Ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Sophie.

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

I didn't - didn't mean to hold you up.

I just forgot to get back.

Listen, I'm kind of busy right now.

Can I call you back?

Okay.

[Myrtle]

Can I have a match, please?

[Audience Laughing]

What the hell is she up to now?

Can I have a match, please?

- [Laughter]

- Thanks, Frankie.

I think she's all right.

- Shh! Never mind now.

- [Phone Ringing]

[Audience Laughing]

[Continues Ringing]

- Hello?

- I'm gonna kill that Jimmy.

[Virginia]

No, Esther isn't here either.

Call back, will you?

- [Phone Ringing]

- [Laughter]

[Vehicle Approaching]

[Engine Off]

- Hello.

- Hello.

[Clears Throat]

I couldn't find the place.

It took me two hours to get here.

[Chuckling]

I'm sorry I was so crude to you today.

You shocked me.

I'd have never expected

to see you again.

[Chuckles]

I've thought about you.

I, uh...

expected you to be

a great big fat dame by now.

[Audience Laughing]

This is just like it was

on our wedding night, you know?

- Why is she making an exit?

- [Gus] It's the same way it was

for me that night.

[Chuckling]

I mean, I, uh--

I felt the same way that night.

[Audience Laughing]

Are you all right up there?

- [Tony Chuckling]

- This is ridiculous.

[Tony] You haven't got

a back door, or some way...

you're gonna get out, are you?

[Audience Chuckling]

These, uh--

These big living rooms

always turn me on.

[Sobbing]

- Is everything all right, Miss Gordon?

- Sure.

I think you better get out there.

Gus is on stage alone.

You all right up there?

[Chuckles]

[Audience Laughs]

[Rattling]

Get the curtain down.

I said bring the curtain down!

[Audience Laughing]

- [Manny] Which one is it?

- It's up there, Mr., uh...

Victor. Thank you.

How come you got your shirt off?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Wait! Get that damn curtain up

right this minute! Get it up!

Get that curtain up right now!

No argument! Get it up!

Up! Up!

Up!

[Audience Laughing]

Humiliating!

[Myrtle]

Okay.

I've changed, haven't I?

- [Audience Chuckling]

- [Tony] You have.

- [Laughing] I've aged, haven't I?

- No.

Oh, you can't say that I'm still the same

baby I was when you first knew me.

Not the same skin,

not the same eyes.

Do you know how old I am?

I don't want to know.

You look terrific.

Oh, but I feel so different.

Okay, let's go.

Time is a killer, isn't it, folks?

[Laughter]

All those lonely nights.

You know about lonely nights?

You bet you do.

How about those lonely days?

How about them, hmm?

[Laughter]

How you doing?

How about you?

You know about those lonely nights?

- I know what you mean.

- You do?

[Woman #1]

I really enjoyed it.

- [Woman #2] Wonderful.

- [Woman #3] Very, very funny.

Someone said you're

the producer. Are you?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Oh, it was good.

Oh, thanks.

That's very nice.

I like the leading parts,

but there were too many old-age parts.

- Old-age?

- Yeah.

- She's always good.

- Oh, she's marvelous.

Henry liked it.

Henry!

Come here, tell him.

He's the producer.

- It's a very serious play.

- That means you didn't like it.

What was wrong tonight?

The play seemed so mixed up.

- Really?

- Excuse me.

Mr. Samuels,

I talked to five people.

- Yeah?

- Three of them thought it was "yecch."

Two of them hated it. The other one

didn't know what was going on at all.

- It's a disaster, a disaster.

- It's not a disaster.

Listen, I want you to get Zeitz up here

first thing in the morning. The first thing!

Get out of my way.

Don't stand there. Go do what you're told.

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