Operation Petticoat Page #6

I'm a machinist mate, I ain't a...

... laundry sailor.

Sailor.

- Yes, ma'am.

Please try not to knock

anything down...

... I wouldn't want it to land

on this dirty floor.

What's dirty?

- The whole engine room.

Look at that grease.

If you was bombed and sunk

and pulled up by your stern...

you'd be a little greasy too.

Sailor.

Lady!

- You'll never get it to work that way.

Why don't you go and

roll some bandages?

What do you know about machinery?

- I was raised with it.

My father was Chief Engineer at

the Seattle power plant.

That would work if you'd

install a new valve spring.

My father was a Chief Engineer....

I'm trying to make do with something

that doesn't belong on a submarine...

... and you can't install a new

valve spring if you ain't got it.

Now, will you get out of here?

You're talking to an officer.

Maybe Congress made you an

officer, but God made you a woman...

... and a woman shouldn't mess around

with a man's machinery.

For the last time,

get out, will you?

Good morning, sir. Can I

pour you a cup of coffee?

Never mind, I'll attend to it. Go and shower.

- Yes, sir.

Have the women finished breakfast?

- Yes, sir.

Pardon me.

I left my cigarette here.

Have you seen it?

Perhaps?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, that's alright, Lieutenant.

I enjoy a cigarette with my coffee.

Oh, thanks.

Is that all you're having

for breakfast?

I'm a little nervous.

I don't feel much like eating.

Captain, I hope you do not mind a

little professional advice but...

when a person

is nervous and irritable...

you can be assured that something

is missing in their life.

Vitamins and minerals.

- Vitamins and minerals.

With an appropriate nutritional balance,

you wouldn't have any gray hair.

I like having gray hair, so I can

worry without it showing.

I used to be just like you.

- What, gray hair?

No. I was run down and poor appetite.

- Yes?

Then I started taking these

pills that I have here...

... and they really built me up.

- No question about it.

All you have to do is take

one every three hours.

You are very kind,

I appreciate the offer...

... but I'm busy man and would forget.

- I'll remind you.

You're the Captain and it would

be bad if you got sick too.

Sick too!

Who's sick?

Most of the men. Lieutenants Colfax

and Reid are taking care of them.

Lt. Crandall, excuse me.

You look pretty good to me.

- I don't feel so good.

Stomach, and I feel dizzy.

- Hold still.

Lie down over there.

Keep that under your tongue.

All right.

- Just go over there.

Right. Now, what's the matter with you?

Williams.

- I've got a headache and my back hurts...

What's wrong?

I don't know, sir. I feel terrible.

You smell good.

What about you, Harmon?

I have shooting pains

in my head, sir.

Probably fumes from that hair tonic.

- Yes, sir.

And you, Fox. What

have you got on?

It's called " Surrender ", sir.

My mother sent it to me.

Break it up. Neutralize that cologne

with a some perspiration.

Even our pharmacist's mate.

What's the matter, Dooley?

He seems to have...

- Just a minute.

I don't know, sir.

I only hope I can

last the day out.

Up, Dooley!

Thank you, ladies. We won't be needing

you any more. The epidemic is over.

Lieutenant Crandall.

- You forgot your vitamins.

Thank you very much.

I'll remind you when

it's time for the next one.

Yes.

Sir.

Lieutenant Crandall, I...

Mr. Watson.

- Yes, sir?

Pass the word to the crew. When

Lt. Crandall - you know Lt. Crandall?

When Lt. Crandall walks through any

part of the boat, give clear passage.

Right, sir.

- How's Mr. Holden coming with the torpedoes?

I decided he would make better headway

if he read the basic submarine manual first.

It's in his cabin reading.

- Good.

Am I going down right?

- That's right.

Is she going down right?

- She sure is.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

Mr. Holden is explaining

how everything works.

He's been explaining?

- We're just on our way to the engine room.

I 'm afraid Mr. Holden won't be

able to maneuver this morning.

Don't you have a book to read?

- Yes, I'm on Chapter Five:. .

... "Care and Operation of the Bilge Pump"

- All right.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.

You'll like it. It turns out happily;

they get each other in the end.

Engine Room to Captain.

What is it, Tostin?

Either her or me in this engine room!

I'll be right there.

It works. You're just to

stubborn to admit it.

Get that thing out

of my engine room!

Look, Major - enough is enough...

- What's going on?

Look at what she did, sir.

It's only temporary until

we make a valve spring.

We?? What do you mean we??

- I will design it and you can make it up.

Excuse me.

- Sure.

What are you going to do, sir?

I don't know. It works, doesn't it?

But I'm here all day and that

thing going up and down...

... that's indecent.

- Well.

Engine room. Is the Captain there?

- What is it, Molumphry?

Better come up to the yeoman's office, sir.

- What's wrong?

Lieutenant Reid

just hit Hunkle.

Hit Hunkle? I'll be right there.

Hit Hunkle.

What are you to do about her?

- Keep an eye on it, Tostin.

I'm sure it wasn't intentional, ma'am.

I know, but I've never

seen anything like that in a man.

Mr. Hunkle?

I'm sorry.

That's all right, Lieutenant.

Sir.

- What happened?

It was nothing, really.

- Then why did you hit him?

It was my fault, sir ;

I was changing my shirt...

I went to borrow the typewriter.

- I had my shirt off and she hit me.

It was a reflex action.

I was embarrassed and I...

If you'll excuse me.

Hunkle, keep that pinup covered,

I've got enough troubles.

Yes, sir.

- Captain, torpedo room calling the Captain.

What is it, Harmon?

- What do I do with Lt. Colfax?

What's wrong?

She's dizzy, sir. I think she's getting seasick.

She insists she's got the bends.

I'll be right there.

Excuse me, please.

- Yes

It's amazing how compact

everything is.

On a sub you have to

operate in close quarters.

I think we better be going.

- Going where?

Well, Nick, haven't you

got some reading to do?

How old are you, Barbara?

Twenty-four.

A very nervous twenty-four.

Look at yourself. You're tense.

Your pulse is beating fast

and your hands are cold.

We've got to do something

about all this tension.

I'm afraid that the cure might

be worse than the disease.

Barbara, you're a nurse,

you know it is with people.

They're like that teapot;...

... build a fire under it,

pressure builds...

... and has to be relieved.

Mr. Holden, return to your quarters.

- Yes, sir.

Captain, it wasn't his fault...

... I encouraged him.

Lieutenant...

... the last thing the men on this

boat need is encouragement.

Major, if you can't control your

women, lock them up.

What happened?

He caught us.

Doing what?

Nick kissed me.

Oh?

- And I kissed him back.

Don't you think

you're rushing things?

Love underwater is

fine for a fish, but...

... shouldn't you wait

until you come up for air?

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