Opinions Page #2

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Johnny Fielder
 
IMDB:
6.5
Year:
1982
60 Views


Neighbours love to count their blessings

as they label others as weirdos.

Simply being left handed

once evoked prejudice.

How many left handed corkscrews

or pianos have you seen,

I mean, real left handed pianos

with notes the other way round,

as a left handed person should

have the right to expect.

Not fair, is it?

Having decided the child's

gender identity for it,

the parents, motivated by

fear of the neighbours,

set about instilling in the creature

how essentially all male

or all female it must be.

Little boys don't cry.

And little girls don't play

with piston engines.

What mindboggingly pathetic

and emotionally stunting

little rules they make up.

Dressed totally in pink, little

girls are forced to play

with cerebrum shatteringly tedious

dolls and little model houses,

so that later on, they'll not only

merge in with their dull neighbours,

but also play an important role

in promotimg conservatism,

without even knowing where

they got their ideas from.

Similarly, little boys,

kitted out in blue,

are given tiny motor cars, cricket bats,

toy handgrenades, and excer sets.

And most importantly, even

three and four year old lads

are given frequent coy

propaganda about girlfriends

and plentiful reminders

along the lines of,

when you're all grown up and have

children of your own, you'll understand.

What, what, what, what will

that make anyone understand

that they couldn't safely have read about

with no risk to their personal freedom?

What are they all so wound up about?

Because of the family name?

Because they need someone to look after

them in their old age, selfish gits?

Or is it because it would be a

bad thing before one's neighbours

if one's nice little girl

turned into a bull dyke?

Or such a tough little boy

became a raving queen?

Is homosexuality the common cause of

parental death, as parents imagine,

or is it really fear of what

the neighbours will say?

If someone has the sense

to do what they want,

and go to bed with

someone of their own sex

and not force replicas of themselves

on the rest of this overcrowded world,

good luck to them!

They should be given medals, not

demoted or importuned and locked up.

In this dreadful world of

enforced sexual conformity,

little girls are tutored to

pure aspartame sweetness,

and to raise their voices an

octave, sounding more innocent

and plaintive when asking for

something, in a shop for instance.

The cute little mite lisps, Mummy, could

I have some of those nice sweeties,

when what she really needs is a smack

in the teeth. Welcome to the real world.

Little boys on the other

hands are indulged to be

conservatively naughty, cheecky,

and non-effeminately grimy.

What they actually need

for their education,

is one day a month compulsory

clad in a pink skirt.

Would Boy George be as he

is, if he had been made

to wear a pink skirt once a

month from the age of six?

You may have noticed just now

a gentleman walk behind me,

carrying a cardboard penguin.

If you didn't, then you're

not paying attention.

I'm not saying all this

for my own benefit you know.

I've gone to great lengths

to research this talk

so that the whole of

mankind might benefit.

It's inattention to education

that causes wars you know.

If the Germans had been

wiser and cared less.

about what the neighbours had said,

there would have been no world war two.

But no, you don't want to know,

and all peace protesters are

weirdoes, so the neighbours say,

and the Americans have got no

history and therefore can't think,

and the Russians are all very very very

very evil though I'm not quite sure how

except that it involves the KGB

and red something other...

Oh, you globe full of ninnies,

pull yourselves together!

Don't you realise we're

all the same underneath?

At first, a baby is a

greedy, selfish creature.

All it knows about are its own needs.

If monsieur Pasteur, mister Lister,

doctor Fleming and miss Nightingale

had been miss Dimm, most of us

would have curled up our toes

and died of infection long before reaching

the ripe old age of twenty seven.

This is where education comes in.

But there are two types.

One is purely educational,

in which society passes on

its accumulated knowledge,

artistic, historic, and scientific.

And is very very veryvery

veryveryvery good.

The other is indoctrination,

which poses as education,

but is excrementally treacherous,

deceitful, and prone to mythomania.

Who in the world would stoop

so low as to indoctrinate?

All religious leaders and politicians.

It's what their job's all about.

They say, here's a code

of behaviour for you,

now you won't have to do

any of that difficult thinking.

Put these blinkers on and follow us.

Believe in god, and all

that we say he says,

or believe in the party,

and all that we say you say.

Oh say can you see, rule Brittania,

to keep the red flag flying here...

I have seen the light!

Ours is the true way!

Yes, millions of people can be wrong.

They betray their ignorance and prejudice

by their intolerance of other moralities,

and their insistance that

theirs is the only way.

I remember an ad, for volkswagen cars,

which said that twenty five

million people could not be wrong.

Remember world war two?

Need I say more?

So think, and don't blindly follow.

Choose the best bits of all philosophies

you can find and build your own.

You don't have to be a christian,

a muslim, a buddhist,

a communist, a logical positivist

or a vegan to use your brain.

In fact, to be committed to such a club

is to sentence millions of brain

cells to shameful inactivity.

Religion, nationalism, and political

fervour are enemies of rational thought.

At best, dearest viewer,

we should stroll a careful course,

retaining our individualism

and freedom and thought,

while conforming only to

social behaviour patterns

which benefit and enlighten,

rather than harm others.

Of course, the neighbours can be right.

Ultimately, it is the corporate

consciousness of humanity

against which our personal

moralities are compared.

Thankfully, this corporate

consciousness is not fixed.

It is growing and developing as

it absorbs and accepts new ideas,

ideas pioneered by individuals

who it may once have persecuted,

and who eventually become the

heroes of man's search for truth.

Well, that's the end of a very long

but well intentioned

and important bit of chat.

Now, obviously, some of you may

have allowed your minds to wander.

I know mine did. So, here's a summary.

So, back to peer pressure.

During early childhood when - I think

I've just said peer pressure. Oh dear.

During early childhood when

selfishness predominates,

fear of being the odd one out,

ridiculed, jeered at, or thumped,

creates a dangerous need to belong

to the gang, the club, the social set.

Those excluded are punished

by exclusion itself,

not being talked to, or

by not being played with,

through various types of psychological

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Graham Chapman

Graham Arthur Chapman (8 January 1941 – 4 October 1989) was an English comedian, writer, actor, author and one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python. He played authority figures such as the Colonel and the lead role in two Python films, Holy Grail and Life of Brian. more…

All Graham Chapman scripts | Graham Chapman Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Opinions" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/opinions_15341>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    What is the purpose of "action lines" in a screenplay?
    A To describe the setting, actions, and characters
    B To list the plot points
    C To outline the character arcs
    D To provide character dialogue