Orange County Page #3

Who are you?

Im your wife. Cindy.

We met in Maui.

Hey, look. | Bobs still bleeding.

Whats this-- | What is-- My God!

He likes you. Yes. | We found him on PCH.

Get him out of the house. | I dont allow dogs in here.

But hes so sweet.

Call the Humane Society. | Theyll have him put to sleep.

Dont you think we should | put out some cheese and crackers?

Theyre gonna be here | in 1 5 minutes.

- Yeah, I know. | - Whos coming?

Mom, you might want to put on | something more, you know.

More what? More what?

Whats going on?

Whats happening?

Sit down. Sit down, okay?

Just sit. | Dont be nervous.

Someone very important is coming over, | and hes bringing his wife.

If he likes me, | hes gonna get me into Stanford.

- Theyre coming over now? | - Theyll be here in a couple minutes.

The house is a mess, | and Bob is bleeding.

You cant expect me to drop everything | and entertain these strangers.

Drop what? | What were you doing?

Look. This is my last chance | to get into Stanford.

I know, honey, | and its not a good day for me.

- I have to go to college. | - Why?

Because thats what you do | after high school.

Please dont do this to me. | Please dont sabotage me.

Every time I try to depend on you, | you start acting like a total lunatic.

Mom?

Mom?

Im sorry.

So now Im a bad mother.

Youre not. | Please just put on some clothes.

I sacrificed a lot for you. | I sacrificed Damian for you.

Your tennis instructor.

He was beautiful and Serbian!

When your father left, | I almost married him.

And if I had, wed be living in a condo, | clipping coupons and eating lunch meat.

So I didnt.

I married Bob for you.

I had sex with Bob four times | for you.

How can you say Im a bad mother?

Im not saying that.

- You know money cant buy happiness. | - Grow up. Yes, it can.

You and Dad both have money, | and youre both miserable.

Hes miserable? | Did he say that?

Mom, this is the most decisive | day of my life...

and all Im asking for is one hour-- | one hour with no big scenes...

and no nervous breakdowns | and no Meryl Streep impressions--

just one hour where you act | like a normal, loving parent.

Can you do this for me?

Yes, I can.

Thank you, Mom.

But Ill need a glass of wine. | Theres chardonnay in the fridge.

Okay. Ill be right back.

Dont move.

Im really nervous.

Dont be. | Everythings gonna be fine.

Theyre early.

Some very important people | are coming over.

- Stay in your room. | - Why?

- Because youre an embarrassment. | - Okay.

Theyre here.

I look like a pinata.

You look great. | Just remember what I said.

No big drunken scenes, okay?

Yeah.

Lupes with Bob, Lance is in his room | and Mom is dressed.

How do I look?

Very handsome.

- Now just--just be yourself. | - Okay.

Come on.

You must be Shaun.

Yes, sir. | Yes, sir, Mr. Gantner.

Please come in.

Mrs. Gantner. | Thank you for coming.

- This is my girlfriend Ashley. | - Hi.

- Nice to meet you. | - Hello.

- Youre friends with Tanya. | - Tanyas very upset by your situation.

I dont like it | when my granddaughter is upset.

Tanya has Arthur | wrapped around her little finger.

- Thats right. | - Hello!

Hello.

Hi. Im Cindy Almond-Beugler.

- Im Arthur Gantner. My wife Vera. | - How do you do?

Hello. Welcome.

Excuse me.

Wont you please | make yourselves at home?

Thank you. | Thank you. Thank--

So, tell us about yourself.

Well, Im a National Merit Scholar...

a straight-A student...

and I want to be a writer.

Do you like John Grisham? | I sure do.

Shauns also our class president...

and he was the representative | at our model UN.

Hes a fabulous kid, Mr. Gantner.

Arthur. Please. | Call me Arthur.

Even as a little boy, | he was so smart.

I miss those days.

The last few years | have been really hard.

I helped my former husband | start his business.

Soon as he gets a little money, | he starts screwing around on me.

My goodness.

He left me for a 20-year-old | he met at the gym.

I walked in on them at a motel.

Shes got him naked | and handcuffed to the bed.

So we divorced. | I remarried.

Then this new one, Bob...

he starts falling apart, and--

and its just one sh*t storm | after the other.

- Let us in! | - Hurry up!

- Hurry up! | - Come on!

Yo, bro.

We heard you tried | to kill Mrs. Cobb.

Are you on a violent rampage, dude?

What do you want?

All right, bro. | Check it out.

We thought, in Lonnys memory, | we could go down to Emerald Cove.

We could take his board | and push it out into the ocean.

- Or blow it up. | - Right.

That sounds like a great idea, | and well do it.

But I cant right now | cause I got important people over.

- More important than us, huh? | - No.

- More important than Lonny? | - Of course not.

- This is his birthday, man. | - Yeah, man.

Like, his death birthday. | Doesnt that mean anything to you?

Just go hang | with your little VIPs.

Sorry we intruded | on your tea party.

If you need us, well be out in | the van picking each others butts.

- Naked. | - Huh?

I visited Stanford in the fall. | Its a beautiful campus.

Isnt it lovely? | We go up there for football games.

And Arthur is on the board, so--

Excuse me. Sorry.

Have you seen my piss?

My parole officer called. | He wants that piss.

I know I got it around here.

Dont you see | that we have company?

Hey, whats up? | There it is.

I am so sorry.

Somebodys gotta fill this up, | or Im going to jail.

Would you just | get out of here!

Fine.

Id like to "protose" a toast.

Shaun has been a wonderful son...

and I want him to be happy.

Im going to be all alone.

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Dear God!

Pills!

Mom, you didnt give Bob | his medication.

Excuse me for a minute.

Dude!

Dude! Where are Bobs pain pills?

This is Excedrin.

Its a decoy. | I put my stash in aspirin bottles.

Yellow are painkillers. | They go in the Excedrin.

Listen to me, all right?

I need Bobs pain pills.

Bob doesnt have any pain pills. | I sold them, but these are good.

Wait. Yellow are not painkillers.

What are they? Speed. Theyre the X. | Painkillers are in the Tylenol.

Give him one of these. | Itll knock him right out.

Wait. Please. | Where are you going?

You people are sick.

Your mothers a drunk. | Your brothers a pervert.

Shame on you | for abusing an old man.

Shame on you | for abusing an old man.

Hes fine. | Tell them youre fine.

I know how this looks, but I do | everything I can for Bob.

- I love Bob. | - Hey!

Stanford is for the best | and the brightest--

the future leaders of America.

Youll never go to Stanford...

as long as I have | a breath in my body.

Watch your fingers.

What happened?

You went for a ride.

Are you okay?

I got ya, buddy!

You should sue, man. | This isnt right. Sue the school.

Shut up.

Just go to Stanford anyway. | Go there and take the classes.

Dont take "no" for an answer. | Just say, Im goin here. Kiss my ass.

- Thats a good idea. | - What?

I should go up to Stanford.

If I talk with the dean of admissions | and tell him my situation...

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