Orange County Page #4

hes gotta let me in.

I can get you there in three hours.

Youre getting into Stanford. | I know it!

Thanks, man.

I have a question for you. | I got something to say.

Im gonna do something with my life. | Yeah, man.

Good.

I got these ideas. | I got so many ideas.

Theyre burning | through my skull, buddy.

I dont know, like, | hats and shirts.

Like Stussy. | Do you know what?

Stussy got started out making | hats and shirts for surfers in Hawaii.

Now hes, like, a millionaire. | He parties in Hawaii 24-7!

I could do something like that, | dont you think?

Like a f***in shirt | that says "Loser."

Or I dont know. "Talk to the hand" | or something like that.

Those would sell.

Or-- I dont know. | I got these ideas.

Like a hat, | a big hat that goes--

Watch the road, dumb ass!

People have written me off. | Do you know that?

People have written me off, | like Dad for one.

Just keep your eyes on the road.

Dude, Im gonna have | the last laugh...

because heres why.

Some little chumps go to college. | Some little chumps stay home.

Some little chumps eat roast beef. | Some little chumps have none.

This chumps gonna cry "wee wee wee" | all the way to the biz-neck.

- You know what Im sayin?

- I love you, dude. | - I love you too.

We dont say it enough. | Its true, and its not the drugs.

- Hi. | - Hi.

I need to talk | to the dean of admissions.

Well, its 1 0:
30 at night, | so hes not here right now.

I know, but, you see, | this is an emergency.

Im sure. Youll have | to come back tomorrow though.

Could you maybe just | give us his phone number?

What? His phone number?

Please, you guys, | cut me some slack.

Come back tomorrow, all right? | Were closed.

Thats such crap.

That is such crap. | Screw her.

You know what? | Screw her.

- You cold? Want my jacket? | - Thank you.

Man! She thinks shes so smart | cause she goes to Stanford.

Well, Im smart too. | Im gonna pull a MacGyver.

I will break in through a window, | Ill look around and find a--

What do you call that thing?

Directory. | You stay here.

Im gonna be back in 15 minutes | with the directory.

Reconnoiter. 15.

The deans probably listed. | You could just call information.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, cutie.

What do you want?

Well...

the question is...

what do you want?

Listen...

do you want me to call | public safety?

Do you want me to get naked | and start the revolution?

Ill take that as a maybe.

- Yes? | - Mr. Durkett?

- Youre such a liar! | - Girls! I told you. Knock it off!

- Dad, Stephanie stole my flip-flops. | - So deal with it, Gina. Go.

- Yes? | - Liar!

Im Shaun Brumder. I need | to talk to you about my application.

Its late. I gotta get up | for a 7:00 flight.

Theres been a big mistake.

Im sorry. Theres nothing I can do. | Good night.

Yes?

Look, we drove all the way here | from Orange County.

Cant you just give us | five minutes of your time? Please.

Okay. You have five minutes. Go.

Okay. Stanford University | was my first choice.

I didnt even apply | to any other schools.

My college counsellor | sent you the wrong transcript.

Show me your transcript.

I left it in the car. | Ill go get it.

- Please dont go anywhere. | - Okay.

Don.

- What? | - Where are our bathing suits?

Theres a green-mesh dive bag | on the floor of my closet.

Just look in there.

Who are these people? | Get rid of them.

Could I have one of those?

Yeah.

Thank you. | My head is killing me.

Take two or three.

Thank you.

You can just have | the whole bottle.

When youre done down there, | I need help closing my suitcase.

Okay. Ill be up in five minutes.

Coming.

Oh, come on.

Jesus. You look like a beast.

Wheres Shaun? | I need to talk to him.

- Stanford. Hes having a crisis. | - I know all about it.

Youre such a good father, | so good to your kids.

I need a drink. | Do you have any beer, coyote ugly?

This is an excellent transcript.

You should be very proud, | but what can I tell you?

If Id had this by January 21 , | you might have had a shot.

I need you.

Excuse me.

What is the big deal?

Hes gonna say no.

Hey, dont let him say no.

Its gonna be fine.

Okay. Thanks.

So whats up with your brother | and aspirin?

Does he get a lot of headaches, | or what?

What is that smell? | What am I sitting in?

Relax. Its just urine.

Your son was being a real brat today, | a real pain in the ass.

- My son. | - He said I was selfish.

He said that everythings | always about me.

He called me a drama queen, | said I was trying to sabotage him.

So, hows Bob?

Hows whats her face?

Shes sleeping around.

I cant talk to her. | She doesnt play tennis.

Shes not a good mother. | Shes not like you.

Want another beer?

Look.

Sometimes I leave the office | at the end of the day...

and I get into my car | and head home...

and, 1 5 minutes later, Im here-- | parked in front of this house.

Its annoying. | Its totally out of my way.

I made a mistake. Im tired of | paying for it. I want you back.

Youre such an a**hole.

Which ones were they?

- Excedrin? | - Excedrin. Okay.

Excedrin are pain pills.

- Pain pills. | - Oh, my God!

What?

We just gave the dean of admissions | three hits of--

Where were we?

Well, Mr. Durkett, to me...

Stanfords not just a school.

Its my entire reason | for living.

Every night, before I went to bed, | Id pray that Id get into Stanford.

And I worked really hard.

And when all my friends | were out having fun...

I stayed in and I studied.

Thats good. | Thats what you have to do.

Eighty-two percent--

Wait a second.

I like you. | Whats your name?

I like you.

I do. I dont know why.

I just like you.

Thanks.

I feel so good.

Is it me, or is it, like, | hotter than hell in here?

Can you help me?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yes, I can.

Theres no time. | Im leaving.

Im going to Bali | with my family.

I love them so much.

I need water or--

I need to lie down.

Hey, before you do that--

Youre my same height. | That is neat.

It is. | Lets go to your office...

and you can add my name | to the acceptance list...

before you leave for Bali.

Sounds good.

Man!

The lights are, like, vivid.

Well, its a beautiful night.

- Youre so beautiful. | - Thank you.

You know, I really appreciate this.

Thats okay...

cause I feel like | Ive known you forever.

Hey!

I have a confession.

I never went to college.

Its overrated.

My brother wants | to go here next year.

Well, I hope hes on this list.

Whats that?

Its a list of people | theyve accepted.

They rejected him, the jerks.

Dont do that.

When I was little, | I was a total pyro.

I was too.

Put that out, man.

- Put it out. | - Whoa!

- Who are you people? | - Im Shaun Brumder.

Youre going to help me | get into Stanford.

And were at your office.

Oh, my God!

Do me a favor. Back that engine out. | We got a knockdown.

Thats negatory, Julio. | I need you to wedge that popper.

Hey! Whats your name?

-Joe--John. | - What is it?

Joe John.

- Your names "Joe John"? | -Johnston.

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