Orange Is the New Black Page #6

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She starts to frantically rub her hair.

LARRY (CONT’D)

Kidding. I’m kidding.

PIPER:

Not funny.

She grabs a towel and sits down next to him. He keeps

filming.

PIPER (CONT’D)

Seriously. Shut it off. I’m so

fat from all the stress eating. I

don’t want a record of it.

Larry pretends to shut it off, but props it nearby and keeps

it recording. *Note for editing, we possibly watch part of

this scene in phone video mode.

As she speaks, Larry starts fumbling in one of the bags.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 36.

PIPER (CONT’D)

That’s one thing I’m gonna to do in

prison. Get ripped. Exercise

everyday and come out like I went

to a spa. And I’m gonna read

everything on my Amazon list. And

maybe learn a craft. I could be

crafty. I’m making it count,

Larry. I can’t just throw away a

year of my life. What the hell

are you looking for?

Larry comes up with a small plastic ziplock bag.

PIPER (CONT’D)

What is that. Oh, no. Larry.

What is that?

Larry pulls a diamond ring out of the baggie. Piper’s eyes

go wide.

LARRY:

Piper-

PIPER:

Jesus, Larry. Why would you want-

LARRY:

Why would I want a felonious,

former lesbian, WASP-shiksa on her

way to prison to marry me?

PIPER:

And all the stress eating...

LARRY:

Because this peculiar, chubby,

underemployed and underachieving

Jewboy loves her and knows he’ll

never be bored and can’t believe

how lucky he is that he met her. I

gotta lock this sh*t down before

you leave, Pippy. I love you. You

wanna marry me?

PIPER:

After I get out, right?

LARRY:

Whenever you want.

PIPER:

I’ll be so ripped.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 37.

LARRY:

You could wear a wedding dress

that’s like a half shirt. Show off

your abs.

PIPER:

Is that your grandmother’s ring?

LARRY:

No. My mom’s saving that for my

sister. It’s my Great-Aunt

Marcia’s. She had thyroid cancer

and she used to knit. That’s all I

know. Put it on. I had it sized.

Piper puts the ring on. Stares at it.

PIPER:

It’s beautiful.

LARRY:

And that’s a yes, right?

PIPER:

Yes. Yes.

LARRY:

Say it again. Into the camera.

He points to the cell phone.

PIPER:

Oh, you a**hole.

LARRY:

C’mon. Had to capture the moment.

She leans in and kisses him. He kisses her.

sits in his lap. He rubs her arms.

LARRY (CONT’D)

Ooh. You’re all cold from the

ocean.

ROSEMARIE (O.S. PRE-LAP)

Bounce your legs up and down.

Keeps your feet warm.

INT. TRANSPORT VAN - DAY

Piper bounces her legs.

She gets up and

BACK TO:

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 38.

Scary C.O. approaches the van with a young, heavy-set Puerto

Rican woman, DAYANARA RAMOS.

SCARY C.O.

Head on up.

Dayanara climbs in behind Piper and Janae, leans against the

window and closes her eyes. Scary shuts the van door, and

Rosemarie starts the engine and we’re off, heading up the

hill.

JANAE:

(flipping through the

magazine)

Look. This dress costs thirty

eight hundred dollars. That’s

f***in’ crazy.

ROSEMARIE:

Oh. That’s nothing. Kate

Middleton’s dress cost four hundred

sixteen thousand, seven hundred

dollars.

JANAE:

Who’s Kate Middleton?

ROSEMARIE:

She’s the princess of England. I’m

gonna pick a photo and my Cousin

Mia says she’s got a lady who can

knock it off.

JANAE:

If your man is still around by the

time you’re out.

ROSEMARIE:

Oh, he’ll be there. I’m the love

of his life.

JANAE:

Thirty four months is a long time.

PIPER:

She’s the love of his life!

JANEA:

Who the f*** asked you?

PIPER:

Uh. I’m engaged too.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 39.

ROSEMARIE:

Oh, congrats! We’ll have to

compare notes. Later. We’re here.

The van pulls over.

PULL WIDE to see the van parking in front of a big one story

cinderblock building.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Rosemarie leads Piper, Janae and Dayanara and their mesh bags

through a group of smoking inmates, in through a rear door.

They’re an assortment pack of races, heights, ages. One is

pregnant. They look cold. Cause it’s cold. Piper, Janae

and Dayanara cling to their bags. Rosemarie opens the door

and they all walk into the main hall.

RESET TO:

INT. CAMP MAIN HALL - CONTINUOUS

Rosemarie leads her tour amid a flood of lady humanity.

ROSEMARIE:

You guys smoke?

PIPER:

No.

JANAE:

Nah.

ROSEMARIE:

Good for you. And technically it’s

not allowed, but, you know. Okay,

we’re gonna get you your bed

assignments and get you settled.

There’s the dining hall. TV room.

That’s the CO’s office. Mr.

Scott’s in now. He’s nice. Who

you got?

PIPER:

Butorsky.

ROSEMARIE:

Yeah. Well.

PIPER:

What?

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 40.

ROSEMARIE:

It’s fine. It’s fine. He does his

paperwork. That’s a good thing.

Namaste Janet!

Rosemarie waves to a tall white woman.

JANET:

Namaste!

ROSEMARIE:

She teaches yoga if you ever want.

She’s good. She’ll make you sweat.

Here’s more offices. Rooms are up

there. Dorms are down there. You

are not allowed down there. It’s

out of bounds for you guys until

you get assigned there. You

understand?

JANAE:

When do we get outfits like

everybody?

ROSEMARIE:

You’re lucky you came in today

cause uniform issue is on

Thursdays. After breakfast

tomorrow, go down to laundry and-

A small, older Latina woman, ADELAIDA RAMOS, walks up to

them. She looks around. Is anyone watching? No? She

smacks Dayanara across the face. Then she quickly walks

away.

JANAE:

What the f***?

ROSEMARIE:

Friend of yours?

DAYANARA:

My mom.

Off their reactions.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM SIX - DAY

ROSEMARIE:

Chapman, this is you.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK "Pilot" JENJI DRAFT 41.

Rosemarie and Piper enter a room with three sets of bunk beds

and six waist-high metal lockers. Everywhere are hangers

with clothes and towels and string bags hanging off them.

It’s like a barracks. Janae and Dayanara wait outside. All

the beds are made except for an upper bunk with a naked

mattress. A bald, older latina woman, MISS LUZ lies on a

lower bunk with a middle-aged (fifties?) Jersey Italian

woman, ANITA DeMARCO, across from her. A woman in her mid

twenties, white, hipster-y is on nearby upper bunk. This is

NINA COLLINS. She’s got headphones on.

ROSEMARIE (CONT’D)

Hey DeMarco, this is Chapman.

She’s new. Self-surrender. You

show her what’s what?

ANITA:

Sure.

ROSEMARIE:

(to Piper, pointing)

That’s your bed up there.

Rosemarie reaches into her pocket. Hands Piper a small

packet of tissues.

ROSEMARIE (CONT’D)

Here. First night’s always hard.

And here. They don’t give you one.

She hands Piper a wrapped toothbrush.

PIPER:

Thank you so much. For everything.

Thank you.

ROSEMARIE:

No problem. We look out for our

own.

PIPER:

Our own?

ROSEMARIE:

Oh, don’t get all PC. It’s tribal,

not racist. You’ll see. I’ll see

you around. We’ll talk weddings!

Bye!

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