Ordinary Decent Criminal Page #6

marvels of Renaissance art.

''The Taking Of Christ'',

by Caravaggio.

What are you shouting for?

Oh, sorry, was I?

A little excited perhaps.

After all, this is a...

Right. So, tell me, are you happy

with your examination?

Yes, very happy.

Right then, lads, follow me.

Back to Roundwood okay?

Roundwood. Got him.

Units 2,3 and 6, Roundwood.

I want a complete roadblock.

All roads in. All roads out.

All units to Roundwood...

Copy that, control.

Unit 6 on our way to Roundwood.

Unit 5, how far away are you?

Isn't the scenery around here

only fantastic Peter?

Of course, you've no mountains

in Holland, sure you haven't.

No, very flat Holland.

I love your country very much.

Same here, Peter.

Ireland's a great place to live,

do you know that?

Are we near Roundwood yet?

About half a mile.

As soon as we get off this road

we're as good as there.

Fantastic.

We might stop for a pint, will we?

Are you thirsty?

The cheek of the man.

Are they in position yet?

I want that roadlock rock solid

do you hear me?

Mothing repeat,

nothing is to get through.

Unit 6, call in, where are you?

I know the very best pub

for you, Peter.

Lovely log fire.

Irish music sessions

and they serve a great pint.

Are you sure he said Roundwood?

Sir, the surveillance plane can't

spot the subjects

anywhere near Roundwood.

What?

He says they're not in the area.

Well, they have to be.

Are you sure it's Roundwood?

Over.

Maybe they're not

out of the woods yet.

Here we go. That's Roundwood

up ahead there, Peter.

Supposed to be the highest village

in Ireland.

Wouldn't mind living aroung here,

I can tell you.

A lovely quiet spot.

Yes, yes, very tranquil.

They're just

coming into Roundwood now.

Well, the surveillance plane

still can't spot them.

Well, what's going on?

Oh, f***... God forgive me.

No sign of them. Nothing at all.

What an awful

waste of taxpayers' money.

What's he talking about now?

I hope the Government will pay

for your funeral, Peter.

It's the least they can do.

Please, don't.

Jesus Christ, Michael,

that was f***ing amazing.

Here, Tony, Stevie,

wasn't that the business?

I bet the Gardas are sitting there

thinking,

''What the f*** are we

after letting ourselves in for?''

''There is no way

we can get all these f***ers''

''they're untouchable.''

You knew all along, didn't you?

How do you mean?

Like, explain it to me.

What the f***

did we go through all that for

if you knew Peter was a fake?

They're gonna feel so stupid.

The Gardas are gonna think

they'll never get the better of us.

Yeah, maybe.

I just wouldn't try that one

with stevie right now.

Stevie? F*** him

if he's got no sense of humor.

On the night, He was betrayed.

He took bread and gave you thanks

and praise. He broke the bread

gave it to his disciples and said

''Take this all of you nd eat it

this is my body''

''which will be given up for you.''

May He make us an everlasting gift

to you

and enable us to share

in the inheritance of your Saints

with Mary,

The Virgin Mother of God

with the Apostles...

the Martyrs...

Right, Michael,

we're up your arse now.

Michael...

Take a look at

what's happening outside.

What?

Look!

What the f***...

Hi, c*nts.

Shut your f***ing mouth,

you little toerag.

What the f*** are you

gonna do about it?

I'll f***ing shut it for you.

Alec, come here. I'll f***ing

shut it for you, you runt.

Lads. It's Christine.

How are you all?

Bastards.

Come on. Let's see what they're at.

Thisi s something new...

we just ignore 'em,

no matter what they do.

Right, lads?

Alec...

What?

They don't exist.

I wouldn't f***ing touch them.

Then again I might have to

give someone a good kicking.

Your escorts. Here boys,

we'll look after you.

You f***ing wanker,

get out of my way.

That baldy f***'s supposed to be

a mastermind criminal?

You must be joking

just a thick gobshite

who got lucky I'd say.

Well, he's f***ed now.

Hey, Lynch,

are you listening to me?

Can you feel it, can you?

You might as well give up now.

Cos we're gonna be glues

to your arse from now on.

Yeah, like flies on shite.

Hey, girls, you got a minute?

What's up with you?

Oh, nothing.

F***ing Gardas, you know,

getting on me nerves.

Listen, I need one of you

to drive me later on.

So where are the Gardas gonna be?

Are you gonna f***ing hlep me

or not?

Yeah.

Keep your hair on.

Why can't you cops

leave people alone?

How can they keep this up?

This is harassment.

How many of them are there?

How are we supposed to work

with the cops all over us?

I don't recognize any of them.

Would somebody call the Gardas,

sort out this mess?

They're never around

when you need them.

It's just no fun any more,

is it, Lisa?

time's up and I think you know it.

I've had a contact about

the painting, Michael.

Yeah?

An offer. From the IRA

a hundred grand.

Not great, I know,

but it's better than

letting the thing just rot away.

Their man Higgins said,

if you did the deal

it would be okay about Billy.

Sorry?

Like, if he comes to Dublin,

there'd be no hassle.

You talked to Higgins about Billy?

Look, let's do the deal

so thowe f***ers go after the IRA

and let us alone.

F***ing sure anyway, it's not

our kind of stuff, you know

this art shite.

Let the IRA deal with it, man.

Look at all these Gardas...

look what we've done to them,

we've dragged them

down to our level.

They're acting like criminals now.

I'm their worst f***ing nightmare.

And now you're telling me

you want to get rid of the painting

the thing we'll be remembered for.

You think

he'll give you a hundred grand?

Yeah.

Like f*** he will.

Can't you see

what Higgins is up to?

It's not about the money,

it's not about the painting.

It's about splitting us.

Michael, we're robbers.

We rob for a living.

I'm not making a living any more.

Yeah, I know, you need things.

You want money, I know.

Michael, they're coming.

Will you have a think about it

what we've been saying?

Will you, Michael?

Tell Higgins I'll let him know.

And I'll let him know too.

And I hope we're talking about

the same thing.

See you later, Michael.

D'you fancy a pint, copper?

Look at the time,

I'll be late picking up me kids.

Michael Lynch.

And how are you today?

What's this?

Your benefits have been rescinded.

Try that one again.

It's the Government.

I just got the order.

You see,

they've cut off your payments.

So I have to...

you know, I, I, I can't...

You think

you can break me like this?

You're off your f***ing head.

Would you stop for a minute

and listen.

Can't you see

where it's all heading, Michael?

Only the one way...

You've been prison twenty years

Me, Lisa, the kids...

No, no, I wouldn't

let it f***ing happen...

Michale Lynch, Norman here, good morning

Tell you the news about donor

I'd say

Christine's very pissed off.

You ugly bag os shite.

You're losing it, Lynch, so fast.

As long as you live...

Stop it...

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