Ordinary World Page #8

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You can't play

if you don't know

the rules.

You don't know the rules.

I know all of the rules.

This happens

every single week.

-Hey, guys.

-DEAN:
Whoa, whoa.

Shut up.

-Somebody said something.

-I didn't hear anything.

Guys, down here.

-JOE:
Hey.

-PERRY:
Hey.

-DEAN:
What the hell

you doing in there?

-Just thinking.

TED:
We were wondering

if you're up for poker.

Oh, not tonight, man.

I got a little family issue

I gotta take care of.

Fallout from today?

Yeah.

Thanks

for bailing me out,

by the way.

No, man, it was easy.

Hey, but next week,

I'm in.

Oh, you're in?

Yeah, I'm in.

I'm in the Dad's Group,

if you'll have me.

-Yeah.

Yeah, we accept criminals.

-Yeah, we'll make an exception.

Good to have you aboard, sir.

Good.

TED:
He's in the group.

DEAN:
Yeah.

Let's go get

some doughnuts.

JOE:
How many are we gonna get?

DEAN:
We should form

a doo-wop group.

What do you think?

A doo-wop group? Anybody?

Hey, it's the birthday boy.

Hey, Walt.

Did Karen go to bed?

Yeah.

She was all fired up.

Sounds like you're

in the doghouse.

Yeah.

-You want a drink?

-Um, yeah, sure. Why not?

You know, Perry,

I've been a little

hard on you sometimes,

but I just

want you to know,

I really appreciate

how much you love

and care for my daughter.

Thanks, Walt.

Yeah, I think I screwed up

pretty big this time.

Have you apologized to her?

Oh, yeah.

Mmm.

Then I'll tell you

what you do.

You go upstairs and tell her

you're sleeping on the couch.

You just grab

your pillow and say,

"Hey, honey, I'm sorry.

I'll just give you

a little space.

I'll sleep

on the couch tonight."

(whispers)

I don't wanna sleep

on the couch.

Don't worry.

You won't have to.

She'll forgive you

on the spot.

Trust me. I've done it

a thousand times.

Hmm.

(knocking)

Hey.

You know,

I was thinking, um--

Maybe I should sleep

on the couch tonight.

The couch?

Yeah, I figured I'd

give you your space and...

I'll just grab my pillow

and sleep on the couch.

Did my dad

tell you to say that?

No.

Hmm.

Sounds like something

my dad would say.

Yeah, he did.

Hmm. Well, that's not

gonna work with me.

So enjoy the couch.

All right.

(sighs)

KAREN:
How's the couch?

Sucks.

I'm sorry.

Do you think this is something

we could look back on

and laugh about someday?

I have to be mad first.

How long is that

gonna take?

Long.

So this means

I get a free pass, right?

A freak-out pass?

If I ever decide to go

off the deep end.

Sure, you can freak out

if you want to.

Just let me know

in advance.

You don't want

the whole house

to burn down, do you?

You know what

freaks me out?

We're parents. Us.

Parents.

(chuckles)

I know. It's, like,

really weird, right?

For their entire lives,

we're gonna be

their mom and dad.

And when they go off to college

and they think about home,

they're gonna think about us.

When they get older

and have kids,

we're gonna be these

wise old grandparents.

But the truth is,

we're not wise.

We're just a couple of people

who met on the subway.

(scoffs)

We're not parents.

(chuckles)

You are.

You're good at it.

You're, like, Mom 101.

I'm just making stuff up.

No, you're not.

I'm acting like a mom

so they'll let me be in charge.

Well, that's smart.

That's what

makes you a natural.

Ohh.

I'm glad it looks that way.

You know,

you don't have to

freak out, babe.

Okay.

Neither do you.

I don't want you

to take this the wrong way.

But wanna watch

House Hunters

and get it on?

How am I supposed

to take that?

Just 'cause

it's your 40th birthday.

It's not because

you love me?

Because I love you.

I might love you.

Well,

you have to because

we have two kids.

Perry, you have two kids.

I have three.

(chuckles)

What? What are you

talking about?

Are you talking about me?

(chuckles)

What are you talkin' about?

SALOME:
Dad!

(SIMON fussing)

SIMON:
Dad! Dad!

Hey, what's up, homey?

How are you doing?

Yeah!

Oh! Let me see.

Hold it. Oh!

All right. Let's go.

Where can I find the city

of shining light

In an ordinary world?

How can I leave

a buried treasure behind

In an ordinary world?

The days into years

roll by

It's well that

I live until I die

Ordinary world

Mmm

What would you wish

if you saw a shooting star

In an ordinary world?

I'd walk to the end

of the earth and afar

In an ordinary world

What do you

guys wanna listen to?

The Beatles?

No, I want to

listen to Dad's band.

Me too.

Les Skunks!

Really?

I want you to play

"Devil's Kind."

I love that song.

She listens to it

all the time.

All right!

Les Skunks it is.

Yeah!

Happy birthday.

(rock intro)

Puke stains and cigarettes

The party is in my pocket

I'm lookin' for a drink

And a couch to call my own

Give me a bump

and I will come

And whisper dirty lies

The rapture in your ear

And we'll both be terrified

Bloodshot eyes

and you're peppermint

We could run like dogs

from the devil

Give me one last try

For your love tonight

I'll be the king forever

And you can be my sunshine

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

And now I won't back down

I said I won't back down

I am the devil's kind

Take me into the water

And pull me

from the slaughter

Because I've got the shakes

And I'm so petrified

Bloodshot eyes

and you're peppermint

We can run like dogs

from the devil

Give me one last try

for your love tonight

I'll be the king forever

And you can be my sunshine

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

And now I won't back down

I said I won't back down

I am the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

And now I won't back down

I said I won't back down

I am the dev... kind

(ends)

She knits me

a plastic purple sweater

I'm staring blankly

to the sky

All right

She reads me

like a scarlet letter

She holds my heart

and arms to die

All right

Sometimes it ain't so bad

Like a soul lies on a slab

This is my life

in a body bag

She's got a diary of madness

She has a man of mystery

Oh, yeah

She dumped me

in a brand-new address

With a brand-new sweater

made for me

Oh, yeah

Sometimes it ain't so bad

Like a soul lies on a slab

This is my life

in a body bag

Oh, yeah

(ends)

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