Original Kings of Comedy Page #3

First love was shown at the stage

when we where babies.

Say, when a baby sees a comforter,

he wants to suck it.

This is a kind of love.

Why did you suck a comforter?

You damned extra.

In fact, I am an actor.

Well, so why did you talk about

sucking a comforter?

I'm going to explain everything to you.

OK, let's explain it.

First, you must dress up

like a college girls,

about dialogue, at some vital points...

such as:
I love you, I hate you, etc.

It'll be more impressive

if you have some tears in your eyes.

Just like this.

Do you see? That teardrop...

Good, the teardrop is inside the eyes.

Where is the teardrop? You damned extra.

In fact, I am an actor.

You might need something to help you

since you've no experience,

and the simplest way is to eat Wasabi.

Wasabi? What are you talking about?

Must we be fooled by this damned extra?

Miss, if you must call me an extra,

you don't need to add 'damned'

in front of it.

In fact, being club girls...

If you can show some respect

to the others, then...

- What are you calling us?

- Excuse me.

Forget it, we are club girls indeed.

I just don't like him

calling me that way.

She's always like this, never mind her.

It's OK...

I've asked you not to stir up trouble!

It's OK...

It's OK...

Why must you still behave like this?

Don't panic, it's alright.

- Don't panic, it's alright.

- Club girls?

It's alright... Don't panic,

take it easy, it's alright.

How could I know he's so amusing?

I brought you there as I thought

he charged for nothing.

If you hadn't block my way, I'd have...

Please, beware what you say

to the clients.

- Go out...

- I'm sorry.

What's going on?

This is a big night club.

Get lost, I'm sorry.

- Are there other hostesses?

- Yes, they're coming soon.

Connie, come here.

What is it, Mama Debra?

Master Lung is here and he's drunk.

He thought he's being dumped

and he wants his first lover back.

All the girls here are college girls,

they'll suit him.

Look,

he has scanned almost all my girls.

But none of them suits his taste,

he's nuts.

Look at his money, it's piled up.

- Have you gone inside?

- Not yet.

Wait here for a while.

Go and send some more girls here.

I have so much money.

Come and get it if you can.

I want my first lover.

First lover!

You wanna try?

I'll give it a shot, sometimes it's hard

to tell the taste of a rich man.

Get lost.

Hurry up, be smart.

Master Lung, here come the beauties.

Say Hi to Master Lung.

Boss.

Get lost!

- Master Lung, don't get mad.

- Go away!

None of them is pretty!

They are not sincere,

I want my first lover!

First lover...

They're all here for money!

I am sincere.

I really love you.

Mary, I'll give you anything you want.

I can give you

all the money on the table...

as long as you don't leave me, Mary.

- What is it?

- Are you alright?

I've hit you hard, sorry.

If that table wasn't there

and I could kick you,

I wouldn't have been defeated by you.

I'm not here to fight with you,

I'm here to learn acting from you.

Go away.

To some honest friends

who have the same interest as I do.

I'll be more than willing to teach them.

Just a second.

I'm coming, 1, 2, 2 and a half, 3.

Must it take you so long for make up?

You damned...

Don't again!

- Your tie is high-classed.

- Thanks.

Since I've taken your money,

I should act accordingly.

- Where's the ping pong racket?

- Under the table.

There're many people here,

let's go over there.

I'm Wan Tin Sau, and you?

Lau Piu Piu.

What do you want to learn?

How to pamper

those bastards in the night club.

The first love feeling of college girls

must be built from the base.

You can take me as your client,

and greet me first.

Boss, want some fist games?

Don't call me "Boss",

you're college girl now.

You can say Good Morning,

or Morning, Sir.

Good morning, Sir.

Try to lower your head a little bit,

pretend to be shy.

Let your client touches your chin

and raise your head and then say.

Morning, Sir.

Your regards are bad, again.

Give me glistened regards.

Morning, Sir.

Too glistened now, I'll faint, again.

Take it easy.

Morning, Sir.

These are eyes of dead body,

you'll scare others to death.

Again. Be natural.

Morning, Sir.

Good!

Now let's discuss about your action,

say, hugging.

Hug me with your way.

What for?

What for?

You needn't lock others

with your thigh every time.

- Sorry, my job requires this.

- You must stop doing that.

Being a college girl,

you needn't always take initiation.

You can act shyly

so that men will hug you.

What do you mean by shy?

Like this.

- Like biting a quail?

- Act on.

Right, when men see you biting a quail,

they'll naturally hold and hug you.

Now you can put your head

on their shoulders.

What for?

Excuse me, my job requires this.

You must stop doing that!

Superficially it's all.

If we go further, I must then ask you

about your first love.

I never have first love.

Everyone has first love.

I said I never have one.

You must have some unforgettable memory.

No.

Or you must have heard someone

say something you can never forget.

Never!

I hope I can be with you forever.

Promise me, let me take care of you

for the rest of your life.

Then you must have

unforgettable experience.

Never!

Being club girl? Didn't say

you'll take care of me?

How come I have money

if you don't work as club girl?

How can I take care of you

if I have no money?

Now, imagine

I'm your first boyfriend lover.

Sau, on the night of your play,

I was engaged in a transaction.

So I was too busy to come, sorry.

- Was there good response?

- Sure.

It's good then.

I will surely come next time.

Someone're shooing kids karaoke,

you aren't one of them?

I've things to see you, excuse me.

Take me new boy

to collect protection money for me.

Help me improve his appearance...

About the way he speaks?

Right, that's it,

you won't refuse my request, right?

Thanks for teaching me.

Over there.

Being a triad member...

you must have a unique appearance.

It's right

you have a gold chain with you.

You must try to look furious and severe.

Try it.

More furious. Show some anger.

Wrath.

Throw that nibble away.

This is it,

you know what you're going to say?

I seem to know.

Good, I'll remind you from time to time

in this dim place.

Tong, over here a bit, right, cheer up.

- Shooting a movie?

- What is it?

I forget already.

You know, HK is in economic recession.

And being hit by financial storm,

it's all because of the 'Ross'.

There are many factors.

Now the S.E.

Asia collapses in economics...

and that infects HK too.

Those enterprises suffer much.

The worse is there'll be

global economics recession soon.

You have a view in economics.

I majored Economics in HKU.

Did you? I graduated this year.

Did you? I graduated in 1996,

this is my name card.

- You're my senior, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- How come you shoot kids karaoke?

- I can't help.

What are you doing now?

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