Original Kings of Comedy Page #5

and I slapped at your face.

So I came here to apologize.

I'm grateful

as you watched our play tonight.

- Thanks.

- You mean it?

Thanks...

Thanks.

Thanks for your encouragement,

I'll remember it.

You'll make it!

Last time you taught me

pretending to be shy...

and men really lift up my chin

and I said...

Morning, Sir.

They're all enchanted by me

and I'm making lots of money.

Really?

Surely,

I've made a fame in the night-club now.

Congratulations.

You will become an excellent club girl.

Thanks.

You will become

an excellent damned extra too.

Thanks.

Looks, it's so dark out there,

I can't see anything.

No, it'll become scenic when dawn comes.

I got to go.

Those 3 guys are dead beat.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

Your lips are chapped,

you need lip balm?

Thanks.

I only have this, is it better?

Yes, it's better.

- You want some more?

- No, thanks.

Forget it then.

Go to hell, a**hole!

What's wrong with you?

I hate people with chapped lips.

But I don't want to have chapped lips.

Why don't you

put some more lip balm then?

OK, I'll put on some more!

Go to hell, don't force yourself to!

I do want to put some more on.

I'm warning you,

don't nag when I put it on your lips.

I've said I want to put on some more.

Wait.

You a**hole!

Put it on for me

like professional beautician, OK?

OK.

- Master Hung.

- What is it?

How much is a night-club hostess

charge for overnight?

Around $1000 to $1200

with a fair appearance.

- What if she's pretty?

- How pretty is she then?

I mean she's a real beauty.

About $1 million to $10 million.

Thanks, Boss.

What is it?

- You're leaving?

- Yes.

- Where are you going?

- Going home.

- And then?

- Going to work.

Is it possible if you don't go to work?

Are you supporting my living

if I don't go to work?

What now?

I'll support your living!

Take care of your living first, nuts.

Whether you despite me or not.

I'm an actor.

You're talking to me?

You're calling yourself an actor,

f*** you!

You owe me 3 lunch boxes,

I want to take them back now.

Take them!

Dare you take them!

Thanks.

- Wan Tin Sau!

- Stand there!

Don't run!

Aunt Ha, this is my lunch box.

As you like, someone's looking for you.

Come on.

Mandy, you may go now.

Go inside. Put down the lunch box.

Close the door!

Sister Cuckoo, director.

Take this seat.

I want you to do an audition now.

We're lovers.

Here is the dialogue before I die.

Take a look.

And my role is...

You play the role of Wan Tin Sau,

and I'll play the role of Cuckoo.

OK.

- Call "Action" now.

- Action.

Tin Sau...

Cuckoo...

Tin Sau... I...

You will be alright, Cuckoo...

I don't think I can make it...

Cuckoo, I've encountered too much

failure in my life.

I'm very tired.

If I lose you too.

I can't hold on anymore.

You... take care.

Don't go, Cuckoo...

Cuckoo, answer me...

Speak to me, Cuckoo, speak something,

Cuckoo...

Cuckoo...

Cut.

- Sister Cuckoo, clean it first.

- Get lost.

What's wrong? A running nose?

You were really absorbed in the role.

Not only absorbed in it,

very stunning too.

Let me tell you,

I won't wait for Big Brother.

You can compromise on the schedule

with Big Brother.

Who will compromise?

I've had it, I want a new partner.

You rather use this guy

than Big Brother?

Don't f***ing, sorry.

Don't bullshit me, OK?

Cause I'm not doing business like this.

"Oh", don't you bullshit me.

We need some new blood.

New bloods are all around,

but we're making a big budgeted movie.

So you can't just introduce

a common guy like him to me.

He's not a common guy.

Mr. Shaw,

I've noticed him for quite some time.

He's a real professional actor.

What professional?

We're talking about business here.

Don't mix your personal feeling into it,

Sister Cuckoo.

Let me tell you something man.

I'm not going to work with these people

and that b*tch.

I'm not gonna work with this man,

I don't want to see him,

I don't want to talk about it!

Mr. Shaw.

I want you to be the leading actor

in my next movie.

What do you think?

Good.

Here're the character,

background relationship.

Scenario, script...

And the novel,

you may take them home for reference.

I think they'll help you a lot.

Here're the schedules

and the character's images.

We'll get your measurement

as soon as possible.

Any problem?

I'll surely have a lunch box everyday?

Mama, I don't want

to do any business tonight.

What? You fool me again.

I'm not fooling you.

No? You're fooling me right now.

Master Lung comes to see you,

he's willing to pay a lump sum.

You must treat him nicely tonight.

Stop fooling now.

I don't want to work anymore?

You don't want to work?

You think you're a virgin.

Why don't you just quit.

I've fallen in love with someone.

I don't know how to thank you

for giving me this chance.

Just try your very best.

I'll input all my strength

and time into this movie.

I hope your girlfriend won't complain

if you can't accompany her.

I don't have girlfriend.

You'd rather choose love than money?

You're nuts! I don't care.

You must treat him tonight,

whatever you do.

We'll talk about it after that.

Miss, get up and get your handbag.

Master Lung, sorry,

I feel sick suddenly.

I'm afraid

I can't accompany you tonight, sorry.

Forget it, don't pretend like a virgin.

I have lots of money.

Take it, how's that?

I'm really feeling sick, I can't.

I don't want to hear "I can't".

Is that clear? Say again.

I really can't.

Is it hurt?

Didn't you say you're a dancing master?

Yes, I can dance very well.

Then what make you step on my feet?

Is it because your pace

is a bit too fast?

Can you slow down your beat,

just for me?

OK, just for you.

B*tch! Last time I spent over

thousands of dollar on you.

And now I came here and...

you turn me down?

You're embarrassing me

in front of everybody here.

I'll give you another chance.

Say it again in front of everybody,

can you?

I can't.

Master Lung, stop beating her.

She's a little girl.

Master Lung, stop beating her.

Can you?

I can't!

Let's go.

Call someone for help!

- Morning!

- Morning!

- Morning!

- Morning!

- Are you Cuckoo Tu?

- Hello.

It's you? I'm Lau Piu Piu.

I'm your fans,

can I've your autograph, please?

You're very beautiful,

I love watching your movies.

It's Cuckoo, ask for her autograph,

she's leaving now.

In today's movie, You play the role

of a waiter at a Chinese restaurant?

Or a bell boy a hotel?

What's happened at your face?

Don't bother.

Cuckoo,

who are you dating with recently?

You guys are neighbours?

You know him?

Sister Cuckoo helps me,

she wants me to be leading actor.

- Go to hell.

- It's true!

Sau, let's go.

Mr. Shaw doesn't like

to be kept waiting.

- Really?

- Yes!

I've said

you can make it someday, remember?

I've said

he'll make it, he will make it.

Cuckoo, ask him if you don't believe me.

Sau, Mr. Shaw is flying

to the States this afternoon.

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