Oscar Page #2

her the kind of life that her parents did.

Well, dump her.

She sounds like a gold-digger.

Oh, no, no, sir.

She's just the opposite.

Very kind and sweet

and down-to-earth.

Well, I can see this dame's got you

wrapped around her little filnger, huh?

- Okay, how much you makin'?

- Four hundred a month.

- How much do you want to be makin'?

- Fourteen hundred a month.

You can take a few minutes

to think it over.

I have thought it over.

Get the hell off my atrium!

If big Anthony were alive

to hear this!

On the grave of my father,

I never wanted to upset you.

But you have no idea how tough it is for

two young people starting out these days.

As I was saying last night

to Mr Lipinsky.

- Lipinsky?

- Yes. Mr Myron Lipinsky.

Lucky Lipinsky the gangster? How can you

associate with such a lowlife?

He's looking for a new accountant.

His last one died in his sleep.

Oh, you don't think that bum would

shoot him while he was awake, do you?

- The cheap hood.

- He's not that cheap, sir.

Mr Lipinsky is willing to pay me

the 1,400 a month.

Oh, that back-stabbing weasel.

He'd love to get his meat hooks

into one of my boys.

All right, I'll pay 1,200.

Oh, Mr Provolone, I am touched

by your faith in me.

I should have this mug in collections. He's

not an accountant. He's a shakedown artist.

- Now I can count on this 1,200 a month?

- Yeah, you got it. Go. Go propose.

Mr Provolone, it is my honour...

to ask for your daughter's hand

in matrimony.

- Pardon me?

- Yes. Your daughter is the one I love.

My daughter!

How do you know my daughter?

- We met at Club 33.

- In a speakeasy?

It's a very respectable speakeasy.

Couldn't even pick one

that bought my beer!

Boss, boss, get a hold of yourself.

Let me take care of him.

Are you still packin'?

Fork it over.

Fork!

We're not in that business any more.

At noon we become bankers.

Can I get up now, Mr Provolone?

- Sorry I lost my temper.

- No problem.

It is with the greatest humility

that I ask to marry your daughter.

On a lousy 1,200 a month?

She deserves better!

Yes, she deserves a husband

who makes 1,400.

She'll get one,

and it won't be you.

- Connie, bring me a brioski.

- That's Aldo's job.

- Well, then get Aldo to do it.

- Yes, boss.

- Don't call me boss.

- Sorry, boss.

And as for you, you think I'm gonna

let you marry my daughter for her money?

Oh, Mr Provolone...

I don't love your daughter

for her money, and I can prove it.

- Yeah? How?

- When I marry her...

- I plan to give her my entire fortune.

- How much can a goombah like you have?

$48,642.30.

How did you save 50 grand

on 400 a month?

- I stole it from you.

- You what?

You walk into my house and tell me

you stole 50 Gs from me!

This gink!

You want I should bump him?

Give me that gat, Aldo.

You know what I told you.

You're a butler now. Buttle!

- That piece has been in the family for years!

- Quit squawkin'.

- Now, I'm waitin' for an explanation.

- Maybe I should start from the beginning.

- Just start from when you stole my money.

- When I filrst took over...

as your accountant,

your books were a mess.

They don't sound like they're in no

great shape now. Damn it. Double negative.

Your overhead was high,

and your net profilts were low.

- I changed all that.

- And I sent you a fruit basket for Christmas, didn't I?

I took all the profilts

from your protection rackets...

and used them to upgrade

your bootlegging operation.

And that allowed me to cut the costs

on your beer a dime a bottle.

- Sure, you were fattening me up for the kill.

- Then a strange thing happened.

- I made a slight clerical error.

- Is that the one that cost me $50,000?

- Don't get ahead of the story.

- Well, excuse me!

It was a simple mistake in addition.

On the books, I accidentally lowered

your costs by a nickel instead of a dime.

Now, when I realized my mistake,

I went to speak to you about it.

- I don't remember that.

- You were in Chicago.

- It was St Valentine's Day.

- Oh, yeah.

Zip it.

I remember it was St Valentine's Day

because that's the day I met your daughter.

The Vendetti's speakeasy.

I'll kill her.

It was love at filrst sight.

And that's when I turned that filve-cent

error into the key to my happiness.

I hid it on the books

and beefed up petty cash.

And I knew that a big man

like Angelo Provolone...

wouldn't begrudge his future

son-in-law a nickel...

which I plan to give

to your daughter anyway.

Oh, this guy is beautiful.

He flatters you to your face

while he sticks a knife in your back.

I'm not proud of what I've done,

Mr Provolone.

But I'd do it all over again

to capture your daughter's heart.

- You really love her that much, huh?

- Oh, yes, sir.

- Does she know about this stuff you've been doing here?

- No, sir.

- Does she love you?

- Oh, yes. I'm sure of that.

- In fact, she's even given me proof.

- Proof? What proof?

- Aldo!

- What are you callin' him for?

- I think you're gonna need some more bicarbonate.

- Why?

Keep in mind, Mr Provolone,

this is 1931.

We're all sophisticated

adults here, right?

- This doesn't bode well.

- Your daughter and I are lovers.

What? My daughter?

- Pop this guy!

- Wait, boss.

We can't have a stiff in the house

with company comin'.

He's right. It ain't proper.

The last thing I ever wanted

to do was upset you.

Why should I be upset?

You wake me up in the morning...

and tell me you're stealing my money

and sleeping with my daughter!

You guys see anything

to be upset about?

You're lucky

you didn't upset me today.

If you didn't upset me

like this yesterday...

you'd be wearing a cement kimono!

- You don't have to give me your answer right now.

- Good!

'Cause I want to talk

to my sweet little girl filrst, Anthony.

You two have a pleasant father-daughter

chat, I'll take a walk around the block...

and you could give me your answer

when you get back, Dad.

Don't you call me Dad.

- Say, boss.

- And don't you call me boss.

Sorry, boss.

Let me show you the door.

There's the door!

He's leavin' the house.

Make a note.

- Can I speak to you a minute, Mr Provolone?

- No.

Lisa! Lisa?

Then she came

Why, it's a shame

- Lisa!

- How she pulled him down

Others she can't get

- Must be someone that she ain't met

- Lisa!

Georgia claimed her

Georgia named her

- Sweet Georgia

- Lisa, I'm waiting!

- They call her Sweet Georgia Brown

- Lisa!

Lisa!

So now you're locking your door?

A girl needs her privacy, Daddy.

I'm a grown woman now.

- So I heard.

- What's that supposed to mean?

Don't be coy with me!

I know all about your boyfriend.

Or should I say lover?

- You know?

- Yes.

And you've brought nothing

but shame to this family.

Daddy, you have to realize

I'm not a little girl any more.

Look.

Put that away!

I'm your father!

Say, how'd you fiInd out

about us, anyway?

The mug was just here

askin' me for your hand in marriage.

- What are you cryin' for?

- Because I'm so happy.

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