Osmosis Jones Page #6

Synopsis: Frank Detomello is a slovenly zoo keeper, and simple father to the only young and bright girl named Shane, who catches a cold right after he swallowed a germ-ridden egg! The inside of his body is known as the "City of Frank". An unlikely hero of a policeman white blood cell, by the name of Osmosis Jones, works as a member of Immunity cell. But with that germ-ridden egg comes a mortal danger: Osmosis discovers Frank has really contracted a villainous and black-hearted deadly virus known as Thrax who arrives and is plotting to ultimately overheat Frank's body, killing him from the inside out! Thrax is motivated by trying to become the nastiest new virus, attempting to kill each new victim faster than the previous. His grandiose plan for Frank is death in 48 hours, breaking previous medical records! Meanwhile the pill that Frank took, Drix arrives in the body and covers Frank's throat with ice to cover the irritation. Osmosis Jones becomes his newest partner. Now it's all up to only Osmos
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  1 win & 7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
57
Rotten Tomatoes:
55%
PG
Year:
2001
95 min
$12,344,938
Website
5,757 Views


-What's your temperature?

-98.6.

-Is this broken again?

-Drix!

You get those skid marks

out of my class! Out the door!

This cat was sick before I

even got here.

Now boarding:
the 937,

with nonstop service...

-... to the toilet bowl.

-Tickets, please.

IKeep it moving.

-Thank you.

-Drix!

-Yo, Drix!

-Jones?

Get your butt off this boat!

-Thrax is alive. Let's go.

-I' m sorry, Osmosis. I can't help you.

Excuse me?

I can't combat a virus.

Read my label.

Learn to think outside the pillbox.

IKeep it moving.

I know sugar pills who cured cancer,

because they believed.

Oh, I don't know, Ozzy. Look at me.

I' m cherry-flavored.

Hey, pal, are you on or off?

Fine. Flush your life

down the toilet.

The zipper's down.

All ashore that's going ashore.

-You know a pill who cured cancer?

-No.

It makes for a good pep talk.

Let's go catch a cold.

How about a hug for your Uncle Bob?

Okay. Nice talking to you too.

Hey, muscles.

-You don't look so good.

-I feel a little fluey.

You know what they say,

"Starve a cold, drown the flu."

Your body needs fluids.

And lots of them.

Is beer fluid?

Of course.

-What about all that wet stuff in it?

-I thought that was the beer.

No, finish that up.

Come on, we want to get better.

There we go. That's it.

That's my good washboard-tummy guy.

This is it. Men, go, go, go.

Hi, baby.

Why are you waiting?

Shoot him!

If you follow me, she dies.

Don't shoot.

-This ain't time to get carsick.

-I' m okay, I' m 1/8 Dramamine!

It's just this darn heat!

As long as it don't hit 108 degrees,

or Shane's an orphan.

Shane, look what I bought for you.

They' re false eyelashes.

Whatever.

Just close your eye.

You look good with falsies.

What the--?

Let me go!

Oh, don 't worry.

Shane will be fine.

I want to her to be at ease

and not worry.

Listen...

...why don't you sit her down

and tell her...

...that if anything happens to you,

I will take care of her. Okay?

I will nurture her,

I will love her...

...and when she's 16,

I'll boot her out.

Sixteen?

I' m not gonna mommy her forever, okay?

I mean, sixteen, sure.

Frank? Are you all right?

We 've a hostage situation

involving the mayor's aide.

Leah, girl, what were you thinking?

Now, we go live...

... to a chase in the superior

vena cava expressway.

Reports of a hostage are confirmed.

Look out!

Suspect is headed towards the uvula.

What the heck is a"uvala"?

-It's that dangly thing in Frank's--

-Boxer shorts! Okay!

Not that thing!

The one in his throat!

I knew that. I knew that.

Are you with me?

Frank, are you with me?

Are you okay?

I feel fine. Say it!

Frank. Hold on, here.

You 're going to the hospital.

The trip is off.

-Pull it over, big guy.

-The trip is off? No!

Shane, isn't that your dad?

Oh, my God.

Stop the bus!

Dad! Uncle Bob!

Shane, you' re here?

-I' m her niece!

-What happened?

Your daddy's had an accident.

-Is he okay?

-He's going to be fine.

I hope he's going to be okay.

Come on.

Let me go! Watch the hands, buddy!

-Hold up.

-Put me down!

-Critical one here!

-Coming through.

-What's the story on this one?

-I don't know. He's burning up.

Let's move on my mark.

One, two, lift!

-What is that nasty smell?

-Cherry. Wild cherry.

Now let her go.

Why? So you can ice me again?

No! So I can!

Virus con Dios.

Jones! Ooh, thank Frank.

Temperature?

-It's at 106.2.

-Put him in ice!

We gotta cool him down!

-We need some ice in here!

-Right, I'll get it.

Daddy?

Maggie.

No, Dad. It's me, Shane.

Come out, come out,

wherever you are.

I ain't got time for this.

This is Frank PD.

We have you surrounded.

Surrender.

-Give it up. You' re busted.

-Hand over the bracelet.

You' re making this too easy.

-Pollen?

-Check this out.

Oh, no!

Mother of Frank!

Enjoy the funeral, boys!

-We' re dead.

-How's your aim?

A lot better than yours!

What are you doing?

Saving Frank.

Let's do it.

You want Osmosis?

You've got Osmosis.

You just don't know when to quit,

do you, Jones?

You know what, Jones?

You want this chain so bad...

... Big Daddy Thrax

is gonna let you have it.

Looks good on you, Jones.

You wear it well.

It's a shame you came

this far just to die.

Who's the Germinator now?

It's a falsie.

Can you feel the heat, Jones?

Too bad you won't be here

to see me break my record...

...when I take down

Frank's pretty little girl.

She ain't going down.

-You are.

-What?

No!

We' re losing him. Breathe!

-Come on, man.

-Daddy! No! I don't want to lose you!

-Take her out.

-Come on, honey.

-No, that's my dad!

-The doctor's doing everything he can.

Hey! Wait!

Frank!

Frank!

Things are grim as temperatures

rise dangerously.

We 've lost contact

with the extremities.

NNN will stay on the air

as long as possible.

When we return, household appliances

that can improve your golf swing.

You silly twit, don 't you get it?!

We are going to die!

I knew it. At the first dark cloud,

you fall apart.

-Moron!

-Phony!

Gentlemen, playing with you has been

the greatest pleasure of my life.

He's not coming back.

He's not gonna make it.

Come on, sweetheart.

He'll be....

That's it.

-Wait, hey.

-Daddy!

I' m so sorry.

I didn't mean to say that.

I don't blame you for Mom's death.

I didn't mean it.

You' re the greatest dad in the world.

Look!

Get that thing

to the hypothalamus now!

Okay, I' m calling it.

I' m sorry. sweetie.

Come on. I know.

Wait a minute!

He's got a pulse!

He's coming back.

One-oh-seven-point-seven.

One-oh-seven-point-six.

Your mama says,"Hi."

As temperatures stabilize, a

grateful city salutes Osmosis Jones.

The officer who saved us.

Jones has been reinstated

to the force with full privileges.

Ozzy, can I count on you

to keep Frank in shape?

We got that insurance

exam next month.

You' re going to have to talk

to my new partner.

-If he feels like hanging around.

-But my visa's expired.

We'll go to the hemorrhoid

and get you a good lawyer.

Come here, baby. I' m still Jonesing

for a little more Osmosis.

Oh, my God. Look how beautiful.

I told you it'd be worth it.

Didn't think I'd break a sweat

coming up here. But I did.

Yeah, it was kind of a long drive.

Carrot?

I wonder what this does.

-Dad.

-Was that you?

What the heck.

Out with the old, in with the new.

Rate this script:4.0 / 4 votes

Marc Hyman

Marc Hyman is an American screenwriter. His writing credits also include Universal Pictures Meet the Fockers , Paramount's The Perfect Score and Show Dogs. He has served as a script doctor for more than 40 produced movies. He was credited for his work on fantasy epic The Great Wall. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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