Osmosis Jones Page #5

about the 200-yard restraining order.

Please. She's been

humiliated enough already.

Humiliated.

You turned me into

a walking air-sickness bag.

My family was humiliated.

You understand?

Do you have any idea

of the teasing...

...that my sons, Ralph and Chuck,

had to endure?

I know your daughter Hurly

had to transfer.

Her name is Shirley.

That is much prettier.

-Tom Brokaw called her Hurly.

-What?

But it was a cute picture.

We gotta get this water underneath

our bridge, for Shane's sake.

I would never hold anything

against one of my students.

Get back to work!

-Be prepared. It's going down tonight.

-Tonight?

Me and Madcow

are going to Wrestlemania.

See this?

This DNA bead comes from a girl

in Riverside, California.

Didn't like to wash her hands.

Took me three whole weeks.

And this one.

Nice lady in Detroit, Motown.

Six days flat.

Then there's this old guy in Philly.

I killed him in seventy-two hours.

I' m getting better as I go, but

the problem is I never set a record.

Until my man Frank, that is.

I'll take him down in 48 hours.

Get my chapter in the medical books.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I got one more question here.

Could a white blood cell

do anything to stop this evil plan?

You know, hypothetically speaking,

that is.

-And, who are you?

-Who am l? Who am l?

A bad, booty-shaking pickinosis.

Yeah. That's who I am.

-Never heard of you.

-You just got here.

But ask any of them,

when it comes to illing...

... bad, booty-shaking pickinosis

stands above the rest.

Oh, that hurts.

That ain't no germ.

That's a cop.

Well, what do we have here?

An officer of Frank's finest.

Somebody lay down a towel.

This is going to be messy.

Attention, germs. You are surrounded.

Surrounded.

Yo, Hammer. You can stop dancing.

What kept you?

Es el muerte rojo!

No me mates!

Get out of here!

Please lift the restraining order...

...so I can do this

father-daughter trip.

The answer is no.

Please.

Think about it overnight.

It would make a little girl

very happy.

Only for use against

the most stubborn cold symptoms.

-Childproof caps.

-Get him!

Why you hit so hard?

Drix, I could use a little help here.

Give me that.

Oh, no. Not again.

You have something white on your lips.

Other side.

Get out!

Out!

The answer is no! Absolutely not!

Thanks. You saved my cytoplasm

in there.

Mr. Thrax has left the building.

Let's call for a scab

and get to the precinct.

Jones! ln my office.

Hey, hey, who died?

Other than Thrax, that is. Brandy!

-I mean, Leah. Why are you here?

-You really did it now.

-I didn't see you back there.

-Disregarding orders, destruction...

... popping a pimple without a permit!

What were you doing there?

-Promoting good health, sir.

-Is that what you call it?

He was lethal.

If we hadn't stopped him--

-We'd be frying eggs off of Frank!

-Watch it, you'll cause a panic.

People would think

about what's going on in this body...

... not the stupid trip!

Okay, you want us to start thinking?

Well, here's a thought:

You' re fired.

-Mr. Mayor--

-Your badge, mister.

Figures. I finally do something right

for Frank, and I get fired.

Without him, Frank could've been

in mortal danger.

Mortal danger? You'd love to prove

that, wouldn't you, Mr. Drixenol?

Get your name in the

New England Journal of Medicine.

Son, read what it says on your arm.

"For the temporary relief

of symptoms--"

Exactly. Temporary.

You' re a wannabe. A placebo.

A generic brand.

An over-the-counter Tic-Tac.

Now, get out of my body!

Continuing symptoms,

while annoying...

... will not derail plans

for the trip to the annual...

... chicken wing festival.

-What's so funny?

-I don't know.

They' re making this too easy.

You know, no one has ever

gotten wise to me...

...and now for the first time...

...an immunity cell

has figured out everything...

...and they don't believe him.

Can you taste the irony in that?

Shut up! What are you two laughing at?

We' re back on schedule.

But boss, we' re the only ones left.

Maybe we should incubate for a while?

You incubate.

I' m going to make my deadline.

Medical books aren't written

about losers.

I' m not going.

-You' re not going where, hon?

-To Buffalo. I' m not going.

Honey, we' re all packed.

Buffalo's going to be a blast.

I' m going camping with my friends.

You' re welcome to join us.

Well, I don't think....

I'd really like you to come.

You don't want me

huffing and puffing after you.

You want to go, okay.

Uncle Bob will go with me to Buffalo.

I' m tired of this. It's not fair.

I go where you want.

I eat what you want.

Don't you ever think

about anyone else?

I think about you.

Like when you packed me

a fried Slim Jim sandwich?

Yeah. It was a turkey Slim Jim.

You know, Dad....

Maybe if you and Mom

listened to me a little more...

...and took care of yourselves...

... maybe she'd still be here.

IKnock off that hamburger talk.

Come here, honey.

Your mom died...

... because she got sick.

And how do you think you get sick?

Germs.

It's the way you eat.

Who's that?

You know my great-great-grandpappy

fought the measles?

There's been a Jones on the force

since we came on the umbilical cord.

Until now, that is.

All right, ladies.

Wrap it up now.

Well, I....

I guess I should get going.

Wouldn't want Frank

to build immunity to me.

Maybe next time he takes Drixenol

it'll do him some good.

-Goodbye, Drips.

-That's Drix.

Whatever.

People, let's get started.

I don't need to remind anyone

that today's our trip to Buffalo.

Frank will be up in 20 minutes.

I don't want him losing an eyelash...

...or stubbing his toe.

Free screening?

We' re broadcasting live dreams

from the brain's subconscious.

You get back to work right now.

That's right, big boy.

You keep on dreaming.

At least you got your health.

Ninety-eight point six.

Ninety-eight point six.

-Ninety-eight point six.

-Perfect.

You can't come in here!

Baby...

...you are looking fine today.

Don't forget the cushion

we take to football games.

Don't want the voters

in the hemorrhoids complaining.

Something's wrong with the weather.

-We' re probably drinking coffee.

-Look at the map.

-What if Jones is right?

-Jones?

Funny. Funny.

You care more about your reelection...

...than our lives.

I' m going to the hypothalamus

to check it out.

Hypo-who-what is this?

Leah, wait!

Who will answer the phones?

Be advised. We have a break-in.

Sarge?

Nothing down there but bad dreams.

Frankie.

Wait.

Maybe Shane would like to know

about the 200-yard restraining order.

Maybe if you and Mom

listened to me a little more...

...and took care of yourselves...

-...maybe she 'd still be here.

- You 're fired. Get out of here!

-Get out!

-No, I can't.

-Get back to work.

-What the-- Huh?

What the heck was that?

Francis Detorre,

you stand up right now!

Thrax is alive and he's in the brain!

Oh, great, pal. Spoil the ending.

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