Other People Page #4

Grandpa! He's in the

bathroom.

Well, it's true.

It is true!

It got torn right off!

Yeah.

Poor thing, she had just

gotten into Bemidji state!

Crazy.

Yeah.

She was swimming and a boat

decapitated her.

But she didn't die right away,

she swam around for an hour.

Oh! Maybe a minute or two.

No, no!

At least a half-hour!

No.

The medic said she was trying to

climb up onto Hoffman's dock...

Without her head.

He's making this up.

Oh, no, it's true.

Okay, I think I'm gonna

get going.

You leaving?

Yeah.

This is just so hard.

She's your mom,

but she's our little girl.

Oh, Ronnie, don't be...

You just never know what's

gonna happen in this life.

Are you mad I'm stopping?

No.

Nothing's shrinking them.

I'd rather have a good few

months or a year... 50 years.

Are you scared?

No... not scared.

I'm sorry for all the mean

things I said when you came out.

That's... that's okay.

No, I'm your mother.

I want to ask your forgiveness

for that whole time.

I forgive you.

And when you were little,

I dropped you...

And you hit your head

on the edge of a table.

I think you're fine, but I'm

really sorry that I did that.

It was very bad.

My wish for you is to not be so

stressed. It's not worth it.

You can be stress, stress,

stress...

And still end up like this.

That's a really good photo

of me.

Yeah, it's pretty.

Your mother was a model, David,

just so you know.

Oh well.

I wish we could just like...

Go travel the whole world

real quick...

So you could just see

everything.

I get to see my whole world

at dinner tonight.

All I ever wanted was

to be a mother,

that's all I ever wanted.

And I got to do that three

times...

So whatever happens, happens.

But I am coming to New York next

month to see you perform!

Mm-hm, you can cross that one

off the board.

I'll cross it out.

But I don't know if I'll be here

for their things, though.

I think you will.

Are you gonna have kids?

I want to.

I love Paul, he's such

a nice guy.

Yeah.

You think you're gonna

marry him?

Maybe, yeah.

Yeah, I think you will.

I farted.

I'm so sorry.

That was disgusting.

Wow, that smells so bad.

I'm kind of impressed.

I'm sorry. Your mother

is disgusting.

No... yes.

All right, everyone, you ready?

It's time for your next team.

Put your hands together for,

"Mrs. Roboto!"

Hi, guys! How y'all doin'?

We are "Mrs. roboto"

and we are about to do...

A fully improvised show for you.

We just need a volunteer we can

interview about their hometown.

So can I have a volunteer?

Yeah, yes! Bright in the pink,

perfect, yeah.

So, everybody clap for her.

Oh, hello, so nice to meet you,

so nice to meet you, yes, yes.

I can't do this, okay,

we actually know her.

This is David's mom.

So, I can't lie. I can't lie.

I just can't lie to you.

Have a seat.

So, I just have some questions

I'm gonna ask you...

About where you're from,

why don't you answer that?

Um, I'm originally

from Austin, Minnesota.

So what was it like

growing up there?

What was like your family,

what'd you guys do?

Um, well, we lived above a

restaurant called the old mill.

The old mill?

Because my father owned the

restaurant.

Oh! Okay!

So did you like work...

Did you work there or eat

there or what'd you do?

Well, no matter what I was

doing...

Whether it was day or night...

My father would call me and make

me come wash dishes.

What?

No matter what I was doing,

whether I was doing homework...

Or on a date...

That's awful, right?

Yeah, exactly.

And I had a grandmother

named vi.

Okay.

And this is a funny story.

One Christmas, god as my

witness...

All my brothers got boxes...

With all her dead husbands'

old belts as presents.

What?

Just all like...

Like all messed up in a bag.

Like a tangled up bag of belts?

Of belts.

That is a truly horrible gift.

From her dead husband.

Yes.

Wow, grandma.

And then, that same year, she

gave me old bed sheets...

That were ripped up into

sections for me to use as pads.

What? That's an insane

thing to do.

That's a weird thing.

That was my grandmother vi.

Okay.

Um, you're lovely.

Thank you.

And I think we're good. Guys,

please give it up for Joanne!

You can go have a seat.

You know I love you.

Yeah, I love you, too.

And I just feel like it's time

to take this to the next level.

Oh, my god, I knew you were

going to do this.

I knew you were going

to do this. I'm...

Here you go.

A lot of belts tangled up.

Yeah.

This is incredible. Oh, my god.

You really love me.

Girl, did he give you belts?

Yes!

Damn!

It's so big!

God, that means

he f***ing loves you!

I know!

Oh, my god!

Don't untangle them!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Push! Okay, he's coming, he's

coming.

And there you go!

That's great, the breathing

and everything...

But if you could try and do some

dishes while...

Here, let's have the baby do

some dishes, too.

Agh! Cut the cord! Cut the cord!

It's crazy, though!

Wait, I have an even better one.

So, some of you might know,

I'm a second-grade teacher.

I don't know if David told you.

So we're on the floor, doing

show-and-tell...

Like we do every day.

Show and tell!

And yeah, you remember the days.

And we get to my little student

Roberto...

Who David knows I talk about

this cute...

Little boy all the time.

He's just like about the cutest

little boy in the world...

A head full of silver teeth.

So he says to me...

"Mrs. Mulcahey, my show n tell's

still in my backpack".

And I said, "that's okay, honey,

go get it out."

He pulls out a fully dead

chicken...

With the feathers still on it.

You guys, your mom is so pretty.

She's like gorgeous!

You both have her eyes.

Yeah, she looks great!

Is she still...?

Yeah, yeah, she's still...

Okay, yeah, no, I was,

like when I saw her...

I was like, "oh, I guess

she's better."

And I was confused, because I

remember you said that um...

Yeah, no, I mean she's off

chemo.

So, the chemo was makes you

sick, so she's...

All right...

Feeling better.

Well, how long will she be

off the chemo?

Um, she's not doing it anymore.

Well, can they try, like,

radiation or...?

Yeah, we've already been

through all that, and...

It's a weird form of cancer,

it doesn't really respond...

It's basically just too far

spread, it's okay.

David Mulcahey!

Hi...

Oh my god! I saw you at the

show, I was like, "it's David!"

Cuz the other day I was like,

"where has David been?"

You hate me, don't you?

Yeah, I've been hiding.

I knew it! You do, you hate me.

No, no.

He hates me.

It's okay, I'm not really mad,

I have been gone, too, so...

My cousin had a wedding in

Philly, so I was gone for that.

Then I broke my ankle...

Oh, no.

And that was a whole thing,

and then I had another wedding.

And then I like just didn't let

my ankle heal properly.

So now you know my

crazy friends.

- Yeah.

- That was really fun.

I feel kind of tipsy.

Is this it?

This is it.

I like the gray brick.

The neighborhood is actually

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