Other People Page #6

Oh, god, David.

It's just...

I just want my mom to die

thinking I'm doing okay.

That's all.

Do you ever cry about your mom?

Now?

Mm-hm.

No. You know, I mean,

I get sad...

And you know, it comes in waves.

But I haven't like cried,

cried, in like, awhile?

We haven't been in church in

like three months.

Your family? That's huge.

Mm-hm.

I thought this was the time

where I'm was supposed to get...

All "religious-y".

And I keep waiting for that

beautiful moment...

Of revelation about life.

I mean, I thought when your mom

dies, you get like a moment...

Where you're both like sitting

on a park bench...

On a beautiful day, and then,

all of a sudden...

You hear the voice of god and

just everything becomes clear.

I want that...

I want that moment.

I...

I weirdly had like,

that moment, sort of.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I remember when my mom died,

everyone at church was like...

Like, you know, uh you know...

"At least she'll be looking down

on you, you know, from heaven."

Which is... I mean, it is the

worst thing that you can hear.

Yes.

But the one meaningful thing

anyone said to me...

In that entire time,

was from my mom.

We were outside...

Good start.

Um, just a warning, this is

gonna get very gay.

Okay.

We were in our backyard, and...

I remember her saying something about how much she

loved birch trees, you know, which I already knew.

But then she said, "when I die,

I'm gonna be a birch tree.

"So when you see one,

that's me."

And, you know, I fully

should've forgotten it...

'Cause it's such a small, random

thing and people say bullshit...

Like that all the time, but it

has always stuck with me...

Because you know, now I

literally always think of her...

When I see a birch tree,

and it is so nice.

Yeah.

You know, and I do not

believe...

In the "she's looking down

on you" thing, at all.

But, you know, she said she was

a birch tree.

And I know she's not

really one...

But... I don't know,

she sort of is.

'Cause now every time

I see one, I'm like...

"There's mom".

So I didn't learn some huge

lesson...

But that was my Jesus-y moment,

you know, sans Christ.

And I will always have it.

That's really nice.

Don't look at us,

we're drug addicts!

Hello.

David, don't.

What's going on?

We're drug addicts, David,

it's time that you knew.

Okay. Is dad okay?

Dad has to give his report

on the school tomorrow...

He has to go into the...

He has to go to the district

office...

And give this school report.

You know what your speech should

just be, Norman?

You should go in...

"Attention, here's my progress

report...

"My wife is dying and we smoked

too much pot...

"And they had to take us

to the emergency room...

"Because my wife ate too

many potato chips."

Wait, you went to the

emergency room?

Mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

What'd they say?

They said you took too much pot

and you gotta go home.

They said you took too much pot,

get your ass out of here.

Very... high.

They said, get your...

That's what they said.

They said, hey...

I thought you didn't wanna try

medical marijuana.

Well, I tried it!

I see that. But why are you

so stoned?

How much butter did you use?

Just one stick!

You used a whole stick?

Mm-hm.

Wait, how do you know

how much goes in there?

Because I smoke pot.

I'm stoned right now.

Drink some water.

Good for you, David.

Live your life.

I will.

Live your life, you too, Norman.

When I die, you gotta live

your life.

Except you can't date

anyone for a year...

And you can't date that slut

who came to the door today.

As in Lisa, the one that

brought you a pie?

Eh, only a slut would come to

the door with dessert.

You're supposed to bring a

lasagna or something like that.

I didn't know that.

Well, I'm gonna go find Alex

and Beccah... have fun.

Come in!

Hi.

Did you see mom?

Yes. What happened?

I came home from work and

they were like that.

It's your fault.

I didn't wanna tell them they

were putting too much butter...

Because then they were gonna

ask how I know.

Ask how you know?

Alex, look at your shirt!

They know you do drugs.

Look at your shirt!

They didn't know you were gay!

This is just blue.

It was like my favorite night

with them like, ever.

That's nice.

You shoulda been there.

They're like pot jolly ranchers

if you wanna do em sometime.

Yeah... maybe.

Does that mean no?

No, it means maybe.

Well, I'm gonna put mom

to bed now.

And then maybe do you

wanna hang out?

Oh, that's okay.

Thanks, but I'm gonna try and do

some writing while she's asleep.

Always writing.

I'm glad we're doing this.

Yeah.

Yeah, the school looks pretty.

I like the birch trees.

You like birch trees, right?

Mm-hm.

Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies...

Ladies and gentleman...

Thank you.

To the start of another

good year!

And for having Joanne

with us today!

Cheers!

To Joanne!

Joanne, do not judge my room.

I know that it is

a disaster zone.

Your mother always had her

room set up...

Weeks before the

school year started.

We hated her.

I guess I have a tough act

to follow then, huh?

Well, if you teach with us,

all that matters is...

Do you like wine?

Exactly.

Oh, my god, yes!

Joanne, she's gonna take over

for you just fine.

Joanne, I really like this top.

Target.

Where?

Target.

Target.

You always have the cutest

stuff.

You really do.

And target has really

good stuff.

They really do! I love it there.

Vicki, Vicki?

Vicki, you're getting Roberto's

little brother this year.

Oh, good luck.

I'm sorry, who am I...

Who am I getting?

Roberto's little brother

this year.

Roberto's brother, the one

with the silver teeth.

Mm-hm.

Uh-huh.

Roberto. I had him two years

ago. He brought the chicken.

His little brother is in our

clas... your class, this year.

See, that's why Joanne's

retiring.

I see.

I like Roberto.

We can leave whenever

you want, okay?

And now what was the

chicken story, though?

I missed that.

Joanne, you gotta tell her.

Yeah, tell her.

We were doing show n tell, and

he pulled out his backpack...

His what?

His backpack.

He says, "Mrs. Mulcahey,

I brought this chicken"...

Eww.

I'm sorry, what was going on?

It was show n tell.

Oh, I didn't... I missed that

part! Ah, go on.

You tell the story. You can

tell...

No, go on, please, go on.

Okay, so... I mean, Joanne

tells it better, but...

So he pulls out this backpack...

And inside is a like legit,

full-on dead chicken.

Not from a store, with feathers

on it, newly dead.

Oh, no!

We laughed so hard I thought

I was gonna pee my pants.

Joanne did.

My mom wanted me to give you

these.

They're little boxes that she

made for the kids...

With their names on 'em and all

their pencils...

And little candies and stuff.

Oh my god. Joanne!

This is too much.

You did not have to do this.

One less thing for you

to have to do.

And I put a candy in each one...

But you can take it out,

if you want to.

Thank you so much.

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