Our Brand Is Crisis Page #6

- Yeah.

Ever since I've been here,

I go like 10 times a day.

I gotta say, I'm really impressed

that you're hangin' on in there, Bodine.

I mean, Ben and Nell

must've gone to pretty much

every consultant inside the Beltway

trying to find somebody

to help 'em with this turd.

Mmm.

Nobody wanted to touch it.

It's like he's got leprosy.

You know how come they

eventually came to your door?

I suggested you.

Through friends of friends, of course.

Anonymous recommendation.

You know why?

I'm training you up.

So come dancing.

It isn't me, is it, Bodine?

You don't wanna go

to a crowded bar, do you?

You're scared if you spend too much time

with our flea-infested electorate here,

you'll, uh, have to admit to yourself

that you have nothing

but contempt for the people

that you're supposed to be serving.

You'll be on your way home

before the last vote's even counted.

Me, I don't... I don't see

the conflict, really.

It's shepherds and sheep, honey.

So have it your way.

We'll stay in tonight.

It's a beautiful night.

Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop, pull over.

Eddie!

Eddie.

Hey. What are you doing?

Are you headin' home? Yeah?

Well, come on. We'll give you...

We'll give you a ride.

This is not good idea.

Why is that not a good idea? What?

You don't know where he lives.

Well, he's getting ready to tell us.

- Snuggle up.

- Watch the purse, Eddie.

Pepe!

Bye-bye. Have a good night.

- See you Monday.

- Yes, very good.

What a shithole.

Be well. Okay, let's go.

- Thank you.

- All right. Take care.

Death to the Yankees!

Thank you, thank you.

What's up, buddy?

Those are the Americans

that work for Castillo.

I've seen them before.

They're the enemy and you bring them here?

She's the one who gave me the steak sauce.

Next time, tell her to give us

the f***ing steak.

Who's winning?

- Jane? Wait.

- Oh, Jane!

Honey, where are you going?

Jane, get back in the car.

Eddie.

This is... This is your neighborhood?

It's where you... Where you live?

Here?

Yeah.

Is this your father?

Mmm.

He died, uh...

He and my mother,

they died two years ago.

In a car crash.

Look.

- Is that Castillo? And that's...

- It's me.

- That's you?

- Mmm-hmm.

So you guys are on your own?

Good for you. Uh...

I'm sure your father was proud of you.

- Huh? Yeah?

- Yes.

He was very proud

that out of all the children,

the President pick me up.

He was a big supporter of Don Castillo.

He said he was the only man

who would, uh, run the country.

You're a f***ing suck-up.

You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know anything about politics.

You're f***ing lame.

Castillo, he wants to bring in the IMF.

You know, the International Monetary Fund.

They lend him money.

They bail him out. That's what they do.

He would never do that.

You don't know Castillo.

It's like inviting in the embargadores

into your house.

You know? The lenders.

They tell him exactly what to do.

They privatize what's... What's ours.

They tax the people

and we don't have any say on that.

Only an idiot would trust Castillo.

What did you say?

- You heard me.

- F***, you're talking about your father.

Shut your mouth, have more respect.

- You heard me.

- Shut up.

- I'm sorry.

- No, it's fine.

You know, different...

Different approaches.

Mmm.

What're you guys doin' tonight?

That's how "Calamity Jane" happened,

and it has stuck ever since.

And "Calamity" is...

It means that, you know,

I'm like a disaster.

Like I bring a degree of chaos.

- A tornado going through.

- Yes.

This is my underage,

judgmental friend LeBlanc.

She's not real.

And, apparently, she doesn't have a first

or a last name either. It's just LeBlanc.

How old are you, LeBlanc?

Come on, tell me how old you are.

I'll tell you how old I am.

I know how old you are.

I know everything about you.

That's creepy. Why would she say that?

Sometimes a leader has to do

what's good for the country,

whether the people want it or not.

Now, whether you want it or not, okay,

globalization is good.

Market economics is good.

It's the only thing that'll

take you outta poverty. Right?

The invisible hand.

What?

The invisible hand.

- No, I know, but...

- The invisible hand.

Adam Smith, laissez-faire economics.

- Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That's right.

See, exactly. The invisible hand.

You know what the invisible hand gives us?

That's good. You win. You win.

I rest my case. I rest my case.

You win. All right, okay.

- No, thank you. No, thank you.

- It's coca.

No, no, I know what it is.

No, thank you.

We have to work,

so we probably should be

- leaving soon anyway.

- I think that's a good idea.

Chicha!

What's this?

It's chicha. It's corn.

Let's do one round. Then we'll leave.

I don't know about that.

Salud!

- A Pachamama!

- A Pachamama!

Hey, punch your mama. Punch your mama.

Hola. I want to...

I want to order dinner for four...

Four people, please.

Bola pe...

Yes, hairy balls, delicious.

It's gonna be funny.

No, just... Just rip the elastic out.

- The what?

- Elastic.

Elastica.

No, no, no. That's all we need.

- Are you a good man?

- I am a good man.

- Are you a good man?

- He's a great man.

- Eddie. Eddie.

- You're a good man.

Are you a good man?

You're a good man. Right?

Reload.

Psst! Reload.

Shh.

Okay, reload, reload.

All right.

Okay. Four klicks to the left.

- East. That way.

- Which? Okay.

- Get further back.

- Okay.

One,

two...

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

He's at the window. Don't.

Abort it. Abort it. Don't do it. Don't.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Stop it.

Okay, he's gone.

Say hello to my little friend, Rivera.

Oh, sh*t!

Uh, could you please call

the police for me?

I'd like to report an assault.

Gracias.

Wait, this is my fault!

Listen to me. It's my fault.

Jane Bodine.

"We understand that Seorita Bodine

"has received treatment

for psychosis in the past.

"Could this explain

her behavior of last night?

"A source close to Rivera's

campaign has said..."

I drank so much more alcohol

than you guys.

"Jane has received..."

No, "was," I think this says,

"connected up to jump cables before"?

- That's Pat Candy.

- He's such a pig.

Oh, Jane. Honey, I am so sorry. Listen.

If they want you

to go over this, I go, too.

Oh, that's such sweet bullshit, Nell.

Thank you so much.

The Senator would like to see you.

I'm sure he would.

Jeez. This thing with Candy.

It's like they got some

Sicilian blood feud goin' on.

I mean, did they use to work

together or something?

I mean, how does somethin'

like this get started?

He f***ed her.

Do you mean that

literally or figuratively?

There was a mayoral campaign years ago.

One of Jane's first.

Pat Candy ran the opposition.

A story started circulating

that Pat's candidate's daughter

was a coke addict.

The poor girl couldn't take it

and committed suicide.

Everyone assumed Jane started the rumor.

Press turned against her

and her candidate,

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