Our Idiot Brother

All right.

- There you go.

- Thanks.

Sadie. Those aren't ours. Sorry, sorry.

- Let's go find Mommy.

- Sadie.

Thank you.

Officer Washburn, how you doing today?

Ned, you always have

the most gorgeous rhubarb.

It's Willie Nelson's poo

that gives it that glow.

- My dog, Willie Nelson.

- Oh. Hey, Willie.

Is that true?

Um... Listen, Ned...

you wouldn't happen to know where I

could get some, uh...

- You know what I mean?

- What?

Roll it up, toke it up, do it up.

- Mary Jane...

- You know, officer...

even if I did,

do you really think I'd tell you?

Oh, uh...

You're right, I'm sorry.

It's... it's been a hard week,

you know?

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

But, not your problem.

You have a good day.

Officer.

Here you go, officer,

have some rhubarb.

Hey, thanks, man. Wow.

- How much do I owe you?

- Nothing.

Seriously, I understand. I know

what it's like to have a hard week.

Well, thank you, but I wouldn't

be able to enjoy it unless I...

All right, if you insist. Uh...

Twenty bucks.

- Twenty bucks?

- Yeah.

- Put it back into the produce.

- Twenty bucks.

- All right, thank you.

- Excellent.

You're under arrest.

- Really.

- Oh!

You're under arrest.

Oh, sh*t.

Willie Nelson didn't do anything.

It's gonna be OK, Willie Nelson.

It's gonna be all right.

So, Kaplan,

from Westbank Capital, right,

he stands up, bids $25,000.

This is like a $500 bottle of wine,

$480, right

- OK.

- Great, yeah. Good night.

OK.

Take this off.

Damn it. What?

Jeremy, my pilot light's out again.

Well, just use a match, you moron.

Last time I did that

I almost singed oh' my eyeball.

Will you just come up and

do the thing with the thing

behind the thing that you did?

It'll take two minutes.

Goddamn it.

OK, I'll be up in five minutes. OK?

- What?!

- Are you having sex?

- OK, I'll be right there.

- You're gonna leave right now?

I'll be back in a couple of minutes,

I just have to help her out.

- No.

- I'm a good neighbor.

Huh! it's, uh, 7:35,

you know kids these days.

It's so depressing.

Your friends from the law firm

will be here, right?

Yeah, but it's casual Friday.

OK, what does that mean?

A lot of bad lawyer clothes.

One of the things

about being the dumb, slutty one

is that it gives you

a unique perspective.

So, Ralph and I are doing it

on the ping pong table,

you know, f***ing.

Hey.

Hey.

- Oh, my God.

- What have you done to your vagina?

It's a Brazilian.

Bizarre.

- See you later, Campbell!

- Take good care of that leg.

- Take care.

- Hey! Hope I don't see you again.

I'm coming home

I've done my time

I Now I've got to know

what is and isn't mine

If you received my letter

telling you I'd soon be free

Then you'll know

just what to do

If you still want me

Then you still want me

Tie a yellow ribbon

'round the ole oak tree

it's been three long years

Do you still want me?

If I don? see a ribbon

'round the ole oak tree

I'll stay on the bus

Forget about us

Put the blame on me

If I don't see

a yellow ribbon 'round

The ole oak tree-

Get back.

You stay cool, little mama.

Not in front of the chickens, babe...

- Sweetie! Hey, sweetheart.

- Ned! Whoa.

- Whoa. What are you doing here, man?

- They let me go early.

Good behavior. I won Most Cooperative

Inmate, four months running.

- Of course you were.

- I missed you so much.

- Baby, I...

- Hey, man.

Hi.

Ned, this is Billy.

Billy, this is... Ned.

Oh. I've heard a lot about you.

How's it going, Ned?

Janet's told me a lot of stuff about

you. Some of it's pretty intense.

I've made some changes

since you've been gone.

I told her to tell you earlier,

but you know what she's like...

Billy, you said you'd be supportive.

- Sorry, man.

- It's all right.

It's cool you're out of jail.

- I'll let you guys do this.

- All right.

Thanks, Billy.

Wow, man.

Well... where do I go now?

Ned, you had, like,

eight months to think about this.

Yeah, but for eight months I thought

I was coming back here.

I mean, I've lived here for three years.

- I lived here before you lived here.

- It's not a contest!

Dude, this is what happens

when you don't use your head.

Can you just think for a minute what it

was like for me these past few months?

You? Well, you know, Where's...

Where's Willie Nelson?

Willie Nelson? Willie!

Willie! Hey, buddy!

- We'll be fine.

- But Willie Nelson is not your dog.

Tim, who's my friend, left him here.

Willie, who do you wanna live with?

Who do you wanna live with?

That is so not cool, Ned.

Are you seriously gonna

put that dog in that position?

Look, I am really happy

that you got out of prison.

But it is not fair to uproot

this animal. He loves it here.

I'm not gonna uproot him.

I'm still gonna work here.

Well, you think that Dave is gonna

take you back after what you did?

- Well, I'm still taking him with me.

- Where?

- Where, Ned?

- I...

That's what I thought.

Come on, Willie Nelson. Come on.

- Let's go.

- Come on! How can you do this to me?

To us?

We've had three beautiful years, man.

Let me go.

Not me and you, me and Willie Nelson.

Let's go.

- Come here. Get inside.

- Oh. Geez, Louise.

Today as I walk

through my garden

Of dreams

I'm alone- in the sweet

Where do you want me

to drop you, man?

Anywhere. Here's fine.

My past and my present

- Are one and the same

- Hey, man, you gonna be all right?

- I And the future holds

- Yeah.

Nothing for me

- Yesterday's kisses...

- Buddy, you can't come with me.

Don't you start crying,

too, OK?

And yesterday's memories

still find me

- Scenes from the past

- I can't...

Keep returning

I I've got a wonderful future

behind me

You say there is happiness

Waiting for me

But I know...

Hey, man, Janet's been trying

to rent out that old goat barn.

If you could get two months worth of

rent together, then maybe you could...

Seriously? Well,

what's she asking per month?

Well, she's been asking $400,

but for you, she'd probably

give it to you for $500.

You think she'd go for it?

You just worry about

getting that money together.

I'll take care of Janet.

Right on. Thanks, man.

Hey, just remember,

Omega-3s for the blepharitis,

it helps with everything.

- Thanks for the tip, Ned.

- Thanks, Hauser.

You know what the worst part is? She's

insisting on keeping Willie Nelson.

- No!

- No, way!

I thought she was a Buddhist

or something.

I'm so sorry, I know

how much you love him.

- That sucks, Ned.

- Yeah, it's really tough,

but you know what I'm gonna do

is get some money together

and I'm gonna rent the goat barn

on the back 40, so...

The goat barn. Pff.

Better hurry up on that one.

- Yeah.

- How much you need for the goat barn?

I'm sure we could rustle up

some cash for you?

Um, I thought we agreed as a family

not to loan each other money.

Yeah, no, right, obviously.

Because then we would've blown through

Dylan's inheritance by now.

I just thought that it would be,

you know, better if Ned were to...

earn it himself.

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