Our Idiot Brother Page #9

and vegetables, honey.

William! Billy!

What the f*** are you doing?

Get the dog!

Hey, easy language, man.

- Tell Ned we said, "Hey."

- Thanks, Billy.

Willie! Willie!

Oh, thank God, Willie Nelson!

Yeah, buddy! Willie!

Yeah! Hey, buddy!

When you're hot and you're

cold, not always easy to hold

And you're hard to impress

Sounds funny

But you might be the best

Want some?

- Thing that I have

- Not the whole thing!

'Cause whenever you've gone

and I'm left all alone

Well, the world

seems worse

No, I didn't really

like you at first

I was wrong about that

So wherever I go

I'm taking you with me

Wherever I go

You're coming along

Hey, Jeremy. Uh, is it...

crazy to think we...

That's where you belong

I know you're not

gonna call me back, but, um...

One more thing...

Remember the time

I missed your awards dinner?

Well, I wasn't really working.

I was at home watching

Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

I'm sorry. Um... what else?

So wherever I go

I'm taking you with me

Wherever I go

You're coming along

You're in my hear?

- Ah!

- Oh!

Jeremy and I were talking,

he has a friend who's also

going through a divorce.

And he works in Poverty at the UN.

He's really nice and really funny.

He does pottery at the UN?

I mean, if he's a friend of Jeremy's,

then I guess I could give it a go.

- Right?

- What's his name?

Roger... Maybe Roger.

What?

Um... That was Cindy.

She wants to come with me tomorrow

to the OB/GYN.

Oh!

We're getting Cindy.

That's great, Nat.

Maybe going all "Honest Ned"

on her worked.

- You don't have to thank me. it's OK.

- Thank you, Ned.

You're gonna be the best uncle.

- That's sweet.

- Aw, he is the best uncle.

I can't wait. You better come visit me.

- Come visit where?

- What do you mean?

I've been wanting to tell you guys.

I think it's time for me to move on.

- No.

- Move on? Move on where?

No. I mean...

You know we just love having you

in our house. Don't you know that?

Oh, I do know that, and I love you too.

But the city's no place

for Willie Nelson or for me.

I feel like I'm gonna cry.

You guys are gonna be great.

My work here is done.

Who's gonna watch sci-fi with Jeremy?

I can't always do it.

- Who's gonna babysit my kid for free?

- Yeah, who?

They're brand new,

I just made them yesterday.

So you're getting some really

fresh candles. All right.

Have a great Shabbos with those.

Thanks a lot.

Anyway, what I was saying though,

is people recycle cans,

they recycle papers, why not candles?

I say we put a bin out and let people

bring back their old drippings

- at their convenience.

- It's like those bags that say

"I used to be a plastic bottle."

"I used to be another candle."

That's a great idea.

And when they bring in those candles,

"I used to be another another candle."

Yeah, eventually we could

just have one that said:

"Trust me,

I used to be a lot of candles."

"I've been a lot of candles."

"Trust me, man,

I've been other candles."

Hey, can I get your

honest opinion on something?

- Sure.

- OK.

- Be honest with me.

- Of course.

Do you think this is an ugly candle?

No way, man. There's no such thing

as an ugly homemade candle.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Good.

- You know what?

We should send, like, just a bunch

of candles to Janet as a thank you.

Totally. To thank her

for introducing us and everything?

Isn't it funny how life works?

I love it. Just a couple of guys

and a dog, making candles.

What a clich.

Hey, Willie.

Willie Nelson.

Hey, man, have you seen Willie Nelson?

- Oh, yeah, definitely.

- When?

Oh, you mean recently? No. I just meant

in general, I have seen him.

Willie Nelson?

Willie?

Willie Nelson!

Willie?

Willie Nelson!

Willie Nelson!

Willie Nelson!

Oh, God! Willie Nelson.

Oh, buddy. Willie.

Hi, hi.

- Hi, guys. You scared me to death.

- Dolly?

- Oh, yeah.

- Dolly?

Deny!

Hey, come here.

What are you doing?

Hi. Where did you go?

- He ran off, scared me to death.

- So did she.

- Sorry about that?

- Why do you do that, guys?

I panicked, man. Oh, my God,

I was running all through town

- yelling, like...

- I was in the woods.

- I had no idea where she had gone.

- She's a cutie, my God.

Thank you.

Yes, isn't that right, Dolly Parton?

- Gorgeous girl.

- Your dog's name is Dolly Parton?

Yeah, I know, stupid, but...

I love Dolly Parton, so...

What's his name?

Willie Nelson.

Really?

You got to get up

every morning

I With a smile on your face

and show the world

All the love in your heart

Then people

gonna treat you better

I You're gonna find

Yes, you will

I That you're beautiful

as you feel

I can't believe you...

- I'm sorry.

- It's so weird.

It doesn't even look like you.

I see no resemblance.

I hope not.

How many times did you criticize him

for having bad breath?

Or for shedding?

Or for farts?

Sh*t.

- OK, get out.

- How does that feel?

Which one... Which one's the door?

You know what?

I'll try them all, never mind.

Someone just wet his balls.

Oh, my God.

You wouldn't happen to know where

I could get some...

Know what I mean?

- What?

- Sling.

Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da.

- You Know what I'm saying?

- I'm so sorry, I don't.

- Doodly-doo.

- Jazz records?

- Hot veg.

- Hot veg.

Ah!

That's not a table.

Oh, that was so much fun, Ned.

Yeah,

why don't you come live with us?

He's right, you should.

What's the funniest thing

you've ever seen?

Stuff.

Probably like Anchorman

or something, right?

- I haven't seen Anchorman.

- What?!

That you're beautiful

You're beautiful

As you feel

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