Out Cold Page #6

You showing a movie today?

It's not "Alive," is it?

You guys are just gonna leave?

You can come with us

if you want to.

You're not gonna throw

your life down the tubes...

just 'cause we're incompetent.

You were born

to run this mountain.

This is what you want to do.

You're staying, period.

I appreciate that,

I really do, but I just quit.

In that case, hop on.

We got plenty of room for you

if we throw out one of the kegs.

You can't leave.

Bull Mountain is not just

our job, it's our home.

Not really. You've seen

what they've done to the place.

We're not the locals anymore--

they are.

Snownook's not our town, Rick.

Bull Mountain,

that was our town.

Technically,

it belonged to the Eskimos...

but we stole it fair and square.

They're right, Rick.

Bull Mountain's gone.

They even tore down

the statue of Papa Muntz.

What?

You guys remember

Papa Muntz's last toast...

right before he died?

No. Remind me.

He held up his beer, he looked

at the mountain that he loves...

and he said,

"Don't go changin'."

His last words were

from a Billy Joel song?

"Don't go changin'."

Bull Mountain is our home...

and I say,

let's do somethin' about it.

It's our home!

-Let's do somethin'!

-It is our town!

You got a plan?

I'm in.

-Me, too.

-Same here.

Let's do it.

-Let's do it. Come on.

-Unpack your bags.

I'm down,

but if we're stayin'...

I've got some unfinished

business to take care of!

I've never been

a man of words...

but there's something

that I have to say to you.

Inga, I've loved you from

the first time that I saw you...

and I love you more than

any man's ever loved a woman...

that he's never

actually spoken to.

I'm only gonna

offer this once.

Inga, will you...

have sex with me?

Nothing would piss off

my schtepfather more.

Let's do this.

All right, guys,

you know what to do.

It's time to destroy

this little celebration!

Let's go. Come on, guys.

All right.

Anthony, come on.

What are you doing?

What?

It's time to get

back on that board, man.

Welcome, friends and investors.

We may be 1 0,000 feet

above sea level...

but this is the ground floor

you're gettin' in on today.

The ground floor of a dream.

Now, with my signature

and your money...

we can make this dream

come true.

Yes, sir. The future is ours.

Just one beautiful...

state-of-the-art

gondola ride away. Hit it!

I thought I fired your ass!

Inga, get your clothes on!

You're just like your mother.

Guys, if this is gonna

be it, let's make it count.

Stay low, don't hit any kids,

and most of all...

-don't sit down.

-Why not?

'Cause we're doin' this

Papa Muntz style, baby.

Get' em off!

Come on, get 'em off!

Luke, if you would

do the honors, please.

Everybody, pants at half-mast.

Let's put Papa Muntz

back where he belongs.

All right, then.

One...two...three!

Four...

five...

Sorry about that, folks.

I assure you everything's

completely under control.

Everything's just fine!

Duck!

What the hell

is Captain Cripple doing here?

What?

Honey--

Lock her in the Humvee

till he's gone.

Nineteen.

Twenty.

Come on, baby. Twenty-one.

Don't touch me!

You better learn

some manners, little lady.

Get in!

-So, what's up?

-Guard duty.

Nice!

Everything is fine!

Hey, man, don't fret!

Afternoon, everybody.

Rick, you ungrateful jerk!

Get out of my way!

Stop! Thief!

Hey, stop those guys!

Get those guys out of here!

Bunch of losers!

What the hell's

he doin' up there?

Wait!

Sh*t!

How's that for irony?

Come on!

I'm your father.

OK. Whatever.

Go! Get out of here!

All right. At my signal...

unleash hell.

Wait! Don't leave!

So there's a few bad apples!

So my daughter's a whore!

This is a hell of a deal!

Hey, come on, kids.

Let's--play safe, all right?

Was that a bottle?

-Want to go for a ride?

-Where are we going?

We're getting out of here.

Hang on.

You want me? Here I come!

Papa...

you will be restored

to your rightful place.

Why did you take me

around this way?

Because you're

getting on that plane.

-I don't understand.

-Come on.

I'm gonna stay here, so your dad

doesn't know where you went.

Wait! Last night you said--

Look, last night

we both said a lot of things.

Some of 'em were true,

most of them weren't...

but I thought about it, and it

all adds up to one thing--

you're gettin' on that plane

where you belong--with Barry.

Look, we'll always have

Pedro O'Horny's, right?

We'd lost that

until you came here.

Go.

Thank you, Rick.

Think this is funny, retard?

Damn, what was that?

Is it me, or do you even fight

like a retard?

Do it!

Call me retard one more time!

-Retard!

-I hate you!

Oh, you can't get

to heaven on rollerskates

'Cause you'll roll right past...

Ride, Papa!

You big lug!

This is how you repay me?

What the hell you got

to say for yourself?

I've got one thing

to say to you.

Get off our mountain, a**hole!

All right, fine.

You win. I'll go.

But first,

I'm gonna whomp your ass!

Bring it on, big man!

Papa Muntz!

Damn! What the hell was that?

That was my dad!

Look out! Watch out!

Stop!

Help!

Let me go!

Help me!

Stop!

Where's Anna?

Where's your boot?

Let's get a drink. Come on.

Nice work, Lance.

Hey, fellas!

Check it out!

Isn't that Anthony?

Speech!

Hot sluts with tits.

Lance, you don't have

to do that anymore, buddy.

Oh, sorry.

Old habits die hard.

I love men!

Lance, you don't have

to do that, either.

Who wants me?

Help! Retard?

Short Stack? Anybody?

Man, you must be proud, huh?

-So, do you ever miss her?

-Who?

That is the right answer.

So...

you want to get a drink

with me later?

You're gonna have to try

a lot harder than that, Ricky.

You know, things worked out...

pretty well for our friends

up here on Bull Mountain.

Rick and Jenny?

Yeah, they got together,

and then some!

Two sweet kids like that...

they could do mighty well

by one another.

Anybody who ever tells you

that money won't buy you love--

hell, they ain't ever been

to Reno.

I was at the buffet table.

This gal comes up to me,

and I flash them dimes...

and we went right up

to her hotel room--

well, it was a car.

This is the good one.

You're pretty good

on that thing, son.

I'm a genius.

Actually, he was Mr. Mankowicz,

but you can call me...

Set!

Who is under my table?

Who put a farting machine

under my table?

This uniform

makes my nuts rageous.

This uniform's

really cramping my Hardy Boys.

It's no mystery.

This outfit is suffocating my...

Lance, can I get a drink for...

Cut!

Are we still makin' this movie?

Are we done with this crap?

When this country

went off the gold standard--

Your paper is paper,

nothin' more than paper...

and if you don't believe me,

by God...

you go talk to Alan Greenspan!

I swear to God,

he's runnin' this country!

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