Out on a Limb Page #4

---

Now he's gonna bury him. I'll make a deal with you.

I'm gonna follow him. If he's off to bury

his dead brother,

I'll give you a nickel. If not, you have to do

everything I tell you

for the rest of your life. That worked when

I was six years old. I'm not six years old anymore. Take it or leave it.

(STARTS ENGINE) Morning...

(GASPS) Hey, I just want

my wallet back. I just want

my wallet! What the hell's

goin' on here?

Slow down. Stay away from me! Just give me

back my wallet. Give me back my bat! Look, I'm not a thief.

When I found your wallet,

I mailed it to you. You found my wallet

in my pants that

you stole from me! I sent the pants too. I'm wearing the pants. Give him back his bat! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) Are you okay? Oh, sh*t.

(GROANING) Are you all right? (GRUNTING) Okay, fine. All right, you fat pig! End of the line! Not so smooth now, are you? Oh, oh, here... Have a cigar. You know what

I'm gonna do?

I'll tell ya. First, I'm gonna

bury you so deep,

nobody'll ever find you! Then I'm gonna 86 your family! And then you know

what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go to the bank

and take what's mine! What do you say to that? You bastard! (GLASS CRUNCHING) Aw, sh*t! (HALLELUJAHPLAYING) Hallelujah, hallelujah (GRUNTS)

Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah You sure you got

the right station? Yeah. Don't sound

like Iron Maiden. Hallelujah, hallelujah It's a live concert.

It sounds different live. Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah I gotta piss, Jim. Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Get outta here. I'm talkin' to you. I gotta take a piss and

you're not gonna watch me. Get outta here!

(SQUEAKS) Aagh! You queer,

bushy-tailed rat. (GRUNTS) Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t! MARCI:

Meanwhile, Sally, who was

running away from Bill, didn't know she would

again have to face the

diabolical Matt Skearns. Excuse me, can you

give me a lift to... (GASPS) (GRUNTING) (PHONE RINGING) Hello?

BUCHENWALD:
Bill... I'm on two lines. What's

the time frame look like? Um, good, Mr. Buchenwald.

Really good. Call as soon as

the papers are signed. Look, you gotta believe me!

Someone's trying to kill me. Please, he's right outside.

Start the car! I'll start the car if you

give me the wallet back. (SIGHS) Oh, no. No, no,

not this time! No, no, no. (GROANING) No, no, no. (EXCLAIMS) (MOANS) Okay. Okay. Where is it?

I don't have it! I don't believe you. Search me. You'd make a lousy cop. You missed a pocket. There's nothing in there. How do you know

unless you check? Ah! (GRUNTING) I'll take you to it

if you let me go! You bastard! Had enough? (GASPING) JIM SR: (SHOUTING) Jim! Jim! Jim! (ECHOING) Jim! Jim? (ECHOING) Jim? Is that me or you? JIM JR: Jim! Jim? Jim! Jim? JIM JR: Jim! Jim?

Jim! You're buried. I know!

Get me outta here.

I gotta piss! Okay. Just pull me out. (URINATING) Who's this? I don't know. Name's Jim. (SMIRKS) He's sh*t-faced. I know you're drunk,

but you... You gotta help us,

you gotta walk it off. Oh, he don't

want that, Jim. All right, let's go. Just put one foot

in front of the other. What foot am I

supposed to put in

front of the other? I'm talkin' to him. Jim, what's this? Oh!

Sorry. He dropped

his wallet. Look at this.

His name is Jose. Jose Rodriguez. No sh*t. There you go, Jose.

You hang on to that. Jim?

Yeah? Maybe Jose

needs a drink. Hey, let's go to Jed's. Jed's costs money. Well, look at him, Jim! I mean, Jose needs

a drink bad. Now you want to

kill him or something? No. All right, then.

Come on. Come on. (BOTH GRUNTING) One foot in front

of the other. (MUTTERING) JIM JR: He can't drive. You don't get

carsick now, do you? Turn him over.

Okay. Let me get

his legs up here.

Pull him in. Jose, don't touch

the steering wheel. Ready?

Yeah. Here we go to Jed's. (LAUGHING) (SWITCHING ON JUKEBOX) Hey, baby que paso? Hey. All right. Thought I was your only vato Hey, baby que paso? Three whiskeys. Hair of the dog. JIM JR: Hey.

JIM SR:
Oh, hey. (LADIES LAUGHING) Hey, ladies.

Hi. Hey.

Hi. How are ya? JIM JR: I like them. Let's go dance, Jim. Please don't leave me

de ese modo Yeah. Hello,

Sheriff's Department? Yeah, this is Jed's Bar. Jim, he can't dance

or anything. Let go, Jose. JIM JR: Come on, sit up.

JIM SR:
Sit up. Here, stick your legs

in there. There you go. You okay?

He's okay. (SEDUCTIVELY) HI. My name is Cindy. Come on, Jim. (MUSIC PLAYING) Hi!

Hey, get down. Hey, baby que paso? Oh, you don't

say much, do you? (CHUCKLING) Stop lookin' at me like that. You're makin' me feel funny. Come on,

baby turn around Sh*t, Jim.

He's doin' all right. (LAUGHING) To you, buddy. Hey, Jose!

Jose! And my corazon is real Hey, baby que paso? I don't see anything

wrong. Let's go. JED: No! There. There! JED: In the booth!

It's the mayor. Darren.

Oh, man. Mayor Van Der Haven. I must say I'm

a little surprised, sir. Mr. Van Der Haven? Mr. Van Der Haven? Hey, baby que paso? Please don't leave me

de ese modo He's dead. Oh, no. Oh, no! No, no. Oh, God! Oh, well, uh, we

were just talking. Thought I was your only vato Everybody freeze! Hey, baby que paso? (SOBBING) We're here. What's the...

What's the matter? My whole life's the

matter, that's what! Kind of an inescapable

problem, being who I am. (SOBBING) Don't do that.

Don't cry. I'm not crying! I can't even wipe my eyes. Okay. Take it easy. Ow. (TRASH CLATTERING) (TRASH CLATTERING) Okay, where is it? I don't know.

I threw it someplace. What's with this

crummy wallet anyway? My contact's phone number

is in the wallet, and if I don't reach her

by tomorrow in Mexico, I've blown a

$140 million deal. Sh*t. All right. If you found

a wallet in your house... And it didn't

belong to you, what would you do? I'd think it was a hat

and I'd wear it on my head. These guys are brothers

and they're both named Jim. The Jims? You know them? Oh. Oh, God. Okay, this is gonna

be a tough one. So, we have to

reorient ourselves. Now put yourself in

the other guy's shoes. So, I'm a Jim,

my name is Jim. I'm very, very stupid.

I wake up in the morning

and what do I do? You bump into things.

You trip over your own feet. After that. Get a beer. Get a beer. Okay, I've had

my beer. Now what? You have another one. After that.

Another one. After I've had all the

beer that I can drink. You have one more. You're pretty good at this. I'm thinking like a Jim. Hmm. Ugh! (FLIES BUZZING) Guess that's

where they keep

the dirty ones. (ANIMAL SQUEAKING) (KNOCKING) It's alive. Lemme outta here. No! (BOTH SCREAMING) (SQUEAKING) I'm gonna untie your hands. But you have to promise

not to beat the sh*t outta me. Okay. (RIFLE SHOT)

(GASPS) It's him. (RIFLE SHOT) What's going on? We're running

and he's shooting! (RIFLE SHOT) (RIFLE SHOT) (BOTH GRUNTING) (CELL PHONE RINGING) (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

Oh! Ah! (SOFTLY) Hello? Oh, Mr. Buchenwald,

I can't talk right now. Yes, I'll call you if the...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes