Out to Sea Page #5

Yes.

Please hold.

Don't go away.

All passengers

traveling to the festival...

must board the fiesta bus at wharf 10

for immediate departure.

- This is the last call.

- Hey!

I figured I'd see if there were

any no-shows. Where's your friend?

You just don't give up,

do you?

Mmm.

Oh, look at those.!

- Don't you just love horses, Charlie?

- Only when they win.

- You've never done any

real gambling, have you?

- For how much?

I'm not talking about money.

I'm talking about life gambling.

You've never been married,

have you?

- In what sense?

- I knew it. I knew it.

I'm waiting for

my sexual prime.

Just when do you think

that's gonna happen?

In about five minutes.

That's it.

Get the hips going.

Get that Cuban motion going.

Ladies under. Very nice. Good.

Come back around.

- Mom, give me a break.

- Shelly, give me a break.

I danced with the man

one time.

- And you were glowing like Miss Arkansas.

- So I had fun.

Herb's a wonderful dancer.

But he's a doctor,

and you know I hate doctors.

Now, moving to the side.

Hips going.

- There's a class. Let's go join the class.

- Oh, I...

- It'll be fun.

- Well...

- You love dancing!

- Under-arm turn, gentlemen.

- All right.

- Let the ladies under.

- That's it.

- Oh, you guys are getting so good.!

Your turn, madame.

Oh!

Excellent! Now, try everything

that we practiced today.

Okay. Goodjob, everybody.

How 'bout a wonderful hand

for our dancers?

It says that it's a festival,

a sacrifice to purge themselves...

of all sins and evil

before the eclipse.

I'm so excited.

I've never seen an eclipse before.

- Is that right?

- Never seen one.

- I seen one once.

- Really?

But I think the moon

got in the way.

Yes!

Oh. Here we go.

Here we go.

Look how happy they are

that we're here!

La, la-la, la-la

What are you doin'?

Oh, I... I'm looking at this

for a possible suit.

Oh!

Charlie, what are you doing? I want

to stay here and dance with my friends.

- Come with me.

- La-la, la-la

Come with me,

con permiso.

La-la, la-la

- Watch out!

- You stay here. I'll be right back.

- I gotta see a man about a dog.

- Take your time.

La-la, la-la

Mucho viejo. Gracias.

Gil, I've been talking

to the board...

about hiring a vice president

of entertainment.

Interesting.

Listen, is there a way out of here

besides the door?

Oh, yes. S, s, s.

Down the drain.

Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha.

Very funny, pal.

Very funny.

Listen, pal, I need to borrow your mask

for a few minutes.

- Get lost, pops.

- Wait. I'll let you have this.

It's a genuine Rolex.

Please, mister.

This ain't a Rolex.

It says "Romex. "

What, you're gonna make a federal case

out of one lousy letter?

They don't make

Romexes anymore.

- This is a collector's item.

- Beat it.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I haven't had a chimichanga in years.

Would you mind... Would you

pardon me for just one moment?

- What?

- Eh, nature, you know.

- Sorry.

- Oh.

Perdname. Perdname.

- You...

- Do you want to buy a Rolex?

Comin' through.

Qu pasa, seor?

What's goin' on here?

Parrot coming through.

Parrot here. Parrot.

Con permiso. Con permiso.

Gil! Whoo-hoo!

Ah.! Leave her alone

for five seconds.

I'm gettin' a little dizzy

in here with all this...

Let me outta here.!

Are you people insane?

Oh, no.!

What do you do

with the bull?

Holy "shaxamahnee'!

Oh, my God!

I'm the parrot!

I see trouble!

Hey, seor.

Hey, pal.

Gil.! Wait.!

All right, mister.

I've got you!

Oh, sorry. I thought you were...

Oh, my God!

- Charlie.

- Let's go.

- Why are we going now?

- Now is the time to loot the shops.

- We are witnessing history here.

- I've seen history. It stinks.

No, stop!

There's a fire there! Can't you see?

My head's on fire!

Help me!

Stop this cow instantly!

Well, hello.

Stuff works wonders for groin pain.

Cheers to you all.

- I've dug all over Guatemala

and all over Honduras.

- Really?

It-It's just... The whole culture

is so interesting...

- so fascinating and...

- Oh, uh, Vivian.

- Herb. What a lovely surprise.

- I know what you're thinking.

- This is my new friend, Sebastian.

- Hello.

He just gave a brilliant lecture on the

significance of the solar eclipse...

...in Mayan mythology.

- What?

- Mayan mythology will tell you...

that an eclipse isn't

really an eclipse at all...

but rather a birth... or an unveiling,

if you will... of a new sun...

- or a new life...

- Fascinating. Herb is a doctor.

- And apparently a dance

host on the side.

- I tried to explain this to you.

- Explain what?

I think you did your job

very well.

- Who is he?

- I don't know.

-I've seen him somewhere.He looks familiar.

- Not to me.

- My husband was in the oil business

with my dad.

If Daddy trusted him,

I figured I could trust him too.

- So, what happened?

- Well, as it turned out...

there were a lot of test wells

he was drillin' on the side.

- You should've had him neutered.

- Oh, I did.

- Except I used an attorney

instead of a doctor.

For lending a helping hand.

Thank you, chappies.

Thank you so very much.

Oh! What's the matter?

- Are you all right?

- Old football injury.

- College?

- No. Professional.

TheJets blew a 30-point lead

against the Dolphins...

- and I tried to throw

my TV set out the window.

You're in pain. I'll get help.

No! Wait, wait!

- What are you doing? - I wanna

hear more about your ex-husband.

You... What?

How can...

- What seems to be the trouble?

- Oh!

- His back went out,

and I think he needs some help.

- Would you help me get him

on the deck chair?

- Of course.

- God bless you,sir,whosoever you may be.

- Oh, careful. Oh!

If you go

in this direction...

Oh.! What are you doin'?

I have to get the wind

from the east.

- He has to get

the wind from the east.

Now, fortunately,

I'm a retired doctor. Aren't we lucky?

Huh?

- And chiropractics is my specialty.

- It's lucky for me.

- Are you his wife?

- Oh, no. I'm just his friend.

She's just a friend.

You tell me where the pain is.

- It's okay. It's better now.

- Well,I think we may need a little adjustment.

- I don't need...

An adjustment!

- Uh-huh! A problem

in the lumbar region.

No. My "lumber" is all right.

Don't worry about...

Can you feel anything?

Uh, what are you...

Ah! That should

relieve some tension.

- Uh, what the hell are you doin'?

- Now, just breathe normally.

Go on.

I haven't done

anything yet. Uh!

- Do you feel better, my friend?

- I'm gonna get you.

What? A present?

Oh, don't be silly.

Just to lighten the suffering of my fellow

human beings is reward enough for me.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Why don't you go.

I'll just rest up here a little while.

Oh, I-I just can't

leave you like this.

- Sure, you can.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah. You go on.

- Actually, I was gonna meet...

...some friends in the casino.

Besides, I like

lying here on the couch.

It's the puppy dog in me.

All right.

I'll see you later.

See you later.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes