Over Her Dead Body Page #2

Do you know that girl Colleen,

who he used to date?

- Do you know Colleen?

- Yeah.

- Have we met before?

- You look really familiar.

That's so weird, 'cause

when you opened the door...

- I was like, "I think I know that girl."

- Yeah.

That's so funny.

Oh, man.

Uh... sorry.

This is my brother, Henry.

Hi.

He needs your help.

I don't know about that.

You promised.

Well, come on in.

Wow. God, Beth.

Haven't heard her name...

long time.

Um, how can I help you?

I don't know if you can.

Henry's fiance passed away

about a year ago...

on their wedding day.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

I hope you don't mind me asking,

but how, um...

How did it happen?

She was crushed by an angel...

and as sad as I am,

I do appreciate the irony.

And, well, he's just...

He's not moving on.

I don't think that's so unusual.

You've changed.

You don't smile.

You don't leave your apartment.

I like my apartment.

Nobody hassles me

if I don't smile there.

He's not letting go,

and I was just thinking...

that maybe if he communicated

with his fiance, Kate...

that, um, maybe she would,

you know...

convince him that it's okay

for him to move on in his life.

Is that what you want?

That's what she wants.

And once she gets an idea

in her head...

it's best to just...

I'm here, so, you know.

Okay. All right.

Well, let's give it a shot.

Um, how do you get

into all of this?

Oh, what?

You mean, like being a psychic?

Yeah.

Why? You think it's crap?

No. I keep an open mind.

I mean, there are plenty

of things people can't explain.

You can be honest.

Not crap, just unproven...

after hundreds of years

and thousands of studies.

But you're keeping an open mind.

Isn't it obvious?

Well, what do you do

for a living?

- I'm a vet.

- So a man of science?

I suppose I am.

Do you believe in heaven?

Jury's out.

Wow.

See, that's just...

That's depressing to me.

I mean, what a sad and

hopeless world it would be...

if that was the case.

I really believe that the people

we love never really leave us.

You know, they're...

They're always watchin' over us.

And then, sometimes,

if we're lucky...

we get to talk to them.

So have you had

a lot of luck with this?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I know that's

not very scientific...

but when it works...

it really does

make people happy.

You wanna give it a go?

Okay. Give me your hands.

Does this cost extra?

Do you always use humor to cope

with uncomfortable situations?

That reminds of this time

two rabbis walked into a bar.

All right.

Come on, give me your hands.

Now, just think about the person

you're trying to contact.

I am getting something, um,

but it's...

But it's a man.

He's in a, like, a blue suit

or, um, like a uniform.

My father wore blue suits.

He was a lawyer.

Are you trying to contact him?

No. He's still alive.

- Retired.

- Oh.

At least,

I think he's still alive.

I haven't spoken with him

since last night.

Maybe something happened

this morning.

All right. Look, I get it.

You don't believe in this stuff,

and you probably think...

I'm some loon

who's just wasting your time.

But you know what?

You're here, so why not?

All I'm asking for is five

minutes for you to humor me.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Okay.

Just relax. Give it a go.

Okay. Just think about Kate.

Picture her in your mind:

the way she made you feel...

the way she looked.

Think about Kate.

- Oh, God.

- That didn't sound good.

My assistant. Probably

just shish-kebabbed his tongue.

Oh, God!

Whoa! Oh!

Holy sh*t!

Um, you know,

I-I should get going.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I wanna check on my dad.

- Oh.

What do I owe you?

Oh, nothing. Nothing.

Oh, no. But I...

I mean...

No, no, no. I-I didn't...

I didn't get anything, so...

Yeah, but you tried.

If someone's pet dies

on the operating table...

you don't charge them, right?

I mean...

No. No, that...

That would make me a dick.

Right.

It's a good thing you don't.

Right. Yes, okay.

If I ever need any catering,

I'll know where to come.

I work cheap, so...

I can see you

why you have two jobs.

- Yeah.

- Nice meeting you, Ashley.

Oh. Nice to meet you.

Say, "Pretty. Pretty bird."

Come on, say it.

You know, I gave you a key

in case of emergencies.

I think you and I just have...

a different definition

of "emergency."

So, how'd it go with Ashley?

Oh, that. Much to my surprise,

it was futile.

You didn't try.

I totally tried.

I chanted, you know, I played

with an eagle feather...

listened to some Tori Amos.

And nothing?

I mean, she's really nice,

but, I mean...

the whole thing

was kind of a joke.

Well, does she want you

to come back?

Chloe, enough, all right?

Right. You know what?

I'm never gonna help you again.

Is that a promise?

Well, unless it's an emergency.

Hey, you never told me

how it went on Friday.

Oh, what,

with the stockbroker?

What is it about telling a guy

that you're a psychic...

that makes him think

that you'll sleep with him...

on the first date?

Well, maybe they think that,

because you're a psychic...

you already know

that's all they're after...

so they might

as well just go for it.

That is so your gay prejudice

towards straight men talking.

No, no, it's all men.

Gay, straight, we're a real

goal-oriented gender...

when it comes to sex.

Dan, I think they're a little

more complicated than that.

No, we're not.

How's my ass look in this?

I don't know.

Can you get a little closer?

I still have

some peripheral vision left.

# Hey now now,

we're goin' down down #

# And we ride the bus there #

# Pay the bus fare #

# Or we find a new reason #

# A new way of livin' #

# And we shout it out,

and try to... #

Good God, what the hell is that?

Oh, Dr. Mills,

you know this is Beatrice.

Lona, there are other ways

you can show your love...

for Beatrice

besides giving her food.

Take her for a walk,

throw her a Frisbee.

She's gained a little weight,

I know.

I've driven cars

smaller than her.

She looks like a tick.

The prettiest tick

you've ever seen.

Well, let me grab

a couple of Sherpas.

They can help me hoist her

on the table.

Hey, guys, Beatrice is here.

Aw! I call head.

No, I'm not taking the ass

two times in a row.

- Shoot you for it.

- And you...

quit messin' with

whatever you're messing with.

I'm not messing with anything.

I make such a cute doctor.

I should've stayed in college.

These aren't toys.

Oh, hey, just curious...

do animal tranquilizers work

on people?

How'd you get those

out of my cabinet?

Here we go.

Is that it,

or can I go back to, uh...

Go ahead.

Oh, hello,

the reason why I came here.

Um, I've got somebody

I want you to meet.

- Now hoist.

- Oh, God.

Her name is Janet.

- Okay.

- Janet.

I can already tell

I won't like her.

She sounds like somebody

with a dream catcher.

So, what,

are you never gonna date again?

I'll date when the right person

comes along.

Okay, well,

what if I told you...

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