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Over Her Dead Body Page #9
I was taking it slow.
Five years, one kiss?
That's not slow.
That's family.
I'm sorry.
I missed my window.
I was... I was waiting for it
to come back around again.
God, Dan, you've, like...
betrayed me.
- Betrayed you?
- Yeah.
Ashley, I love you.
You think it was easy for me
listening to you...
Watching mind-numbingly
boring romantic movies...
and pretending to cry?
Going shopping with you and
giving you advice on clothes?
Do you know how much
of the last five years...
I have spent
learning about clothes?
This shirt cost me $175,
and I hate it!
I hate it!
I love that shirt.
You know, before
I probably spent
$100 a year on clothes.
Now? Now, I spend that much
every three weeks...
on this haircut,
which I also hate!
God.
We took bubble baths together.
Yeah.
Now can you see
how hard it was for me?
I just wanted to cry
on my gay friend.
Yup.
I'll let myself out.
Okay.
All right, I'm ready.
You don't have a cat.
I rescued a stray,
so you'd talk to me.
Come in.
So, have you thought
about a name for him yet?
No. After we're done here...
I'm taking him
back to the pound.
I'm kidding.
It's a joke,
breaks the tension,
and then we start talking again.
Pet's a big responsibility.
Did you ever think
about maybe just running...
into me on the street?
Listen, I didn't know
the information I gave her
I mean, I really thought
that she was just...
gonna tell you that Kate
wanted you to move on.
We... Do you
really have to do that?
Yeah, he needs his shots.
Yeah.
I think he's already had them.
He's my neighbor's cat.
Your neighbor let you borrow
her cat to bring to the vet?
You stole a cat?
He was on a fire escape.
It's like a walk.
Would you quit doin'
stupid stuff...
because you think you know
you're right?
Whoa. You should hear yourself.
You sound like Mom and Dad.
And your friends
and your bosses...
and your teachers and strangers
that you meet on the street.
They all tell you this
because it's true.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
See if you can get the cat home
without killing it.
He's fine.
Hi.
I read this.
to you about all this.
- It's just...
- How did you know...
about the cake
or Hawaii or the chair?
None of that's in here...
and no one else
knows about that.
All right, um,
your sister gave me the diary...
and she asked me to pretend...
that Kate had talked to me,
which is not her fault...
because I shouldn't have done it
in the first place, okay?
But I did, because
I thought, I don't know...
I thought maybe you needed it,
you know, to help you move on.
But I must have crossed
over some sort of line...
or something, because
then, suddenly, she appeared.
- Kate.
- Yeah.
And sh... And she tried
to scare me away from you.
But I just... I really
wanted to be with you...
so I didn't let it stop me.
You pretended that
she wanted us to be together...
because you thought that
that would make me...
fall in love with you.
Yeah, I guess I did.
I, um...
I hoped that you would love me
for other reasons, too.
- Is she here now?
- No, I haven't...
I haven't actually seen her,
um, since you broke up with me.
Guess it was her job
to get rid of me...
and, well, she did that.
So, she just sort of disappears?
I don't know.
Thank you.
"There's a soul
and seal on thine arm.
- "For love is strong as death;
- "Jealousy as cruel as the grave."
- # Your days with thinkin' #
- # When you fall, everyone stands #
- Come on, Beatrice.
# Another day, and you've
had your fill of sinkin' #
# With the life held
in your... #
# When all you gotta keep
is strong #
# Move along, move along #
# Like I know you do #
# When everything is wrong #
- # We move along #
- Come on.
- Okay. Good night, Bill.
- # When all you gotta keep #
- Oh, you're a vet.
- # Is strong #
# Move along, move along #
You know, I've always
wondered which is smarter...
- cats or dogs.
- # Like I know you do #
Come in for some coffee?
# When all you gotta #
- # Keep is strong #
- Why... I really have to get up early...
- # Move along, move along #
- but if you insist...
- # Like I know you do #
- maybe just one cup.
Cats are really good
with tools...
- # When all you gotta keep is strong #
- but dogs are better spellers.
- # Move along, move along #
- That's a... a joke.
- # Like I know you do #
- Dogs, actually.
- That's a funny trick.
- # When all you gotta keep #
- Is there something wrong with cats?
- # Is strong #
- No, cats are great.
- # Move along, move along #
- # Like I know you do #
- # When all you gotta keep #
- How many cats do you have?
- # Is strong #
- Four.
- I'll call you, okay?
- # Move along, move along #
- Peace.
- # Like I know you do #
Do you wanna go
to the restaurant?
- I mean, I can take you back now.
- # And even when your hope #
# Is gone,
move along, move along #
- # Just to make it through #
- Okay.
# When all you gotta keep
is strong #
# Move along, move along #
# Like I know you do #
# Go on, go on, go on, go on #
# We move along #
# Go on, go on, go on, go on #
- Ashley.
- # We move along #
- # Go on, go on, go on, go on #
- Hi.
- Okay, Hi. Hello.
- Hello.
- Long time.
- Yeah, could've gone longer.
Yeah, listen, I've...
I've been thinking
about what I did, and...
Can we stop walking?
I'm trying to...
trying to be sincere...
and the panting
is really killing my delivery.
Sorry.
- I screwed up.
- Yeah, you did.
Yeah, I did.
Definitely screwed up.
But look at it this way.
I pretended I was gay
for five years.
Has any other man ever done
anything like that for you, huh?
I mean,
I could see a guy pretending...
for two, three...
- Okay.
- but five, come on, that's...
- Okay.
All right, listen, Ashley,
you know me.
You know me better
than anyone else does.
And I know you.
Even though
I did a stupid, stupid...
Really stupid.
Beyond crazy, stupid thing
by lying to you...
we have been best friends
for five years.
Yes, that is true.
Look, I don't...
I don't know
any more fancy way to say this.
I'm a good guy. I love you.
And I... I just...
I just really wish
you'd give me a chance, so...
Do I attract
screwed-up guys, or what?
Hiya.
- You.
- Yeah.
Well, he doesn't look so good,
does he?
No, he doesn't.
Finish your mission?
Yeah. You?
No, or I wouldn't still be here.
- Really?
- Mm.
So you do move on
once you finish...
- what you're supposed to do?
- Oh, shoot.
Did you listen
to anything she said?
- No.
- So I guess you're not done yet.
Guess not.
Look, what do you think
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"Over Her Dead Body" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/over_her_dead_body_15447>.
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