Pain & Gain

1

(GRUNTING)

I'm strong!

I'm big!

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

I'm hot!

I'm big!

(SIRENS WAILING)

F***!

(SIRENS CONTINUE)

(OFFICERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

(PANTING)

Sh*t!

(IN DISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Hey, where you going?

(INAUDIBLE)

DANIEL:
My name is Daniel Lugo.

And I believe in fitness.

ED". The events you are about to see

took place

in Miami, Florida, between

October 1994 and June '95.

Unfortunately, this is a true story.

DANIEL:
We all start out equal,

little blobs of blood and muscle.

It's a setup of awesome potential.

Most people never

develop that potential.

- I knew early on I was not most people.

-(GRUNTING)

There you go. There you go!

(LAUGHING) Yes!

Come on, big man.

Work it, baby. Come on!

Let's go!

Because if you're willing to do the work,

you can have anything.

That's what makes the US of A great.

When it started,

America was just a handful

of scrawny colonies.

Now, it's the most buff,

pumped-up country on the planet.

- That's pretty rad.

- (G R U N TS)

That's it?

- Work harder.

- Sh*t!

-(LAUGHS) Oh! Adrian's on the juice!

- Word up, DL!

Most people say

they want to look better.

Not everyone is willing

to do whatever it takes to achieve it.

All of my heroes are self-made.

Rocky, Scarf ace,

all the guys from The Godfather.

They all started out with nothing

and built their way to perfection.

The way to prove yourself

is to better yourself.

That's the American dream.

(PANTING)

I have no sympathy

for people who squander their gifts.

It's sickening.

It's worse than sickening.

It's unpatriotic.

Greatest day of my life.

Arnold-f***ing-Schwarzenegger,

am I right?

I was never a big fitness guy.

I know it's important,

but you know what

I really don't like about weights?

What's that?

They're so heavy!

(CHUCKLES) Am I right?

Can you lift this?

(GRUNTS)

I spot people for a living,

when you get right down to it.

Gives the client security

and a little extra help

to push themselves harder.

(ROARING)

To me, a cigarette boat was a thing

drug dealers had, you know?

But we got it anyway. Cost a fortune.

Named her Puppy Luv.

L-U-V. But when I'm out on it,

depending on the day, I either fantasize

I'm a drug smuggler eluding the DEA,

or I'm the DEA

chasing after a drug smuggler.

(GRUNTS) I'm turning into a stud here.

You get any exercise currently?

Eh... Besides shtupping?

I got a three mil McMansion

next to a private jogging path,

but it's all homos and housewives.

You spend most of your day at a desk?

You know that Schlotzsky's Deli

near the airport'?

That's mine.

NO kidding? Oh, I like that place.

I never kid, Yudo.

- Lugo.

- Yeah.

We make a nice sandwich, Lugy.

You ever try our oven-toasted

roast beef and cheese?

- Give an anorexic an appetite.

- What else do you do?

Do some stock trading, real estate.

Own a few greyhounds for racing.

But for some crazy reason,

I'm proudest of the sandwiches.

I hang at the house.

Got a hot Cuban housekeeper

makes a waffle don't

even need maple syrup.

I'm a self-made man, Dennis.

And my self is not ashamed to

say it's made a lot of money.

Maybe your self

ought to spend some of it on a salad.

You know who invented salad?

Poor people.

DANIEL:
This all began because

it was time to push myself harder.

To maximize results.

And I was tired of clients petting me.

Sh*t, otherwise

I was looking at another 40 years

of wearing sweatpants to work.

BARBARA ANN:
And that was it!

He just dumped me by phone.

DANIEL:
That's cold!

It makes you question

the whole relationship.

DANIEL:
You set high goals for yourself

and nail every one.

But the hardest thing

about changing yourself

is changing how other people see you.

Being a personal trainer

is just that. Personal.

I'm not going to lie.

When a client doesn't

feel the same way,

it hurts.

What next?

Well, I mean, if you wanted,

you know, if it seems

like it would be fun to you,

maybe we could go for a drink

or a dinner or a coffee or water.

I meant what exercise is next.

DANIEL:
ll' really f***ing hurts.

(LAUGHING) I know that!

I was joking. Come on!

Daniel! I see you got some new meat.

What have I always said, John?

The key to repeat business...

ls new business. You cannot build

a muscle mecca without muscle.

(SNIFFS)

Well, I want to turn this place

into an internationally renowned mecca.

- What do you bench?

- Squat?

- More like five.

(SIGHS)

Why should I hire you?

You have a lot of elderly members, sir.

I want to pump

some new blood into this place.

That pool's a very slippery surface

and that elderly woman

with the shower cap,

she looks like she's going to croak

right there in the pool, sir.

And Gold's is going to crush you.

If I don't triple your membership

in three months, I will quit.

Triple it in three months.

That's pretty ambitious.

I read a lot of biographies, sir.

And the one thing that unites great men

is their reach always

exceeds their grasp.

One thing...

I recently had some trouble with the law.

They call Florida "God's waiting room,"

all the half-dead senior citizens

turning brown on the beach.

Sh*t, you ask me, that's kind of mean.

I like older people.

They're very generous.

So, you really guarantee

I can triple

my investment in three months?

Well, if I didn't, would I have

put my name on the company?

Let me confer with my partner.

Are they good?

- You're approved.

- Wow! (CHUCKLES)

You know, I get so much joy

from making people money.

I'm going to make

you guys a lot of money.

You have such beautiful hair.

Look at those eyes. Wow!

I, Daniel Lugo, hereby

acknowledge my guilt.

I know what I did was wrong

and there is no substitute for hard work.

And I am a hard worker!

And it will never happen again.

For I used my superior intelligence

for wrong actions to justify a good end.

And that was wrong.

And, if you let me,

I believe I can learn from my mistakes

and I believe I can help others

to realize that there is

no shortcut to the American dream.

This is America, land of the brave

and home of the second chances.

That's my one ask,

that you give me a second chance

and allow me to go free today.

JUDGE:
Guilty.

I know I'm guilty. That's what I said

in the beginning of my statement.

I said, "I'm guilty."

But what about my second chance?

(CELL DOOR RATTLING

AND CLOSING)

(SCOFFS)

That's nothing. Welcome aboard.

Thank you, sir. I will not disappoint you.

DANIEL:
Three weeks after I signed on,

Sun Gym did triple its membership.

I'ma make you Kobe beef, baby.

One more!

I gave free body waxing

for everybody at sign-up.

It was kind of disgusting.

You have to do whatever it takes

and have no fear.

Ooh. Wow. Bushy.

You want to trim that thing

down a little bit?

I even came up with genius.

Free membership

for strippers. Delicious.

Boosted membership 75%

within two months.

Look like a big sirloin steak, baby!

I like that!

I did make it a muscle mecca.

I made it a destination.

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