Paint Your Wagon Page #7

Ben thinks placer mining's

all but finished in these parts.

What are we gonna do?

I hear talk of

a strike up to Red Dog.

I'm not leaving my home, Ben.

I wasn't suggesting it.

I'll live on grass and mud water

before I'd do that.

Ben isn't asking you

to leave your home.

Damn it! Why won't you leave?

You like this town as much

as I like Schermerhorn!

That's right,

I hate what this town has become,

but it's one place

we can live together.

And... there's nothing I hate

as much as I... love

the two of you and this cabin.

Now, if you want

to go up to Red Dog,

you go ahead and go,

but I'm staying here.

You come back whenever you want to.

The only thing stopping you

being the perfect woman

is your stubbornness.

Somebody should hit you till it's

gone. Somebody's gotta support us.

You can't go through

a whole winter here alone.

I won't leave her here alone.

You mean you'd let this man

who took care of you

and nursed you back to health

light out alone while you sleep

through winter like a fat groundhog?

If he goes, you go.

And I ain't going.

Well, I'll go, then.

If he goes, you go with him.

Didn't I just tell you you can't go

through a winter alone here?!

You ever see such a stubborn woman?

No, I never did.

But if you ever hit her, you'll

have to deal with me straightaway.

I sure am one tired man tonight.

Must be from lifting

those cards all night.

I only played a few hands

last night, Elizabeth.

I had a lucky streak, too.

I broke even.

You'll tell Three-Fingered Sweeney

I'll pay him next week, huh?

You was playing poker last night?

Yeah, I was playing poker

and you was tired. Remember?

Oh. Well.

I think I'll go down and have a

last drink with them three limeys.

-They're pulling out tomorrow.

-How much does he owe Sweeney?

Now, wait a minute.

I won't take your money.

Why not?

Cos a man don't do that

in Michigan or in California.

That's all right with me, but if you

want to keep your manhood,

quit trying to beat

three aces with a pair of fours.

See you at breakfast.

Sorry, boys.

Pardner ain't playing tonight.

-Willie?

-What?

-Have you seen Mad Jack?

-He's over there.

Hey, I want to convert

this dust into dollars.

Look out! He's losing gold dust

every time you bump his elbow.

There's more spilled here in one

night than we've dug up in a month.

Must be a pirate's fortune

under them floorboards.

-Where are you heading?

-Where I can find some gold.

Fleshpot Hill,

Brass Monkey Ravine. I don't know.

Save your souls

and help build a house for the Lord.

He can have my shack, parson.

I'm moving out.

You heathen scum. Money.

And the Lord sayeth,

"Money is the root of all evil."

The Lord sayeth that

cos he ain't rich.

-He knoweth about you...

-You don't say?

Living in that cabin.

You're going to hell!

I hope so. If it ain't too far down,

I'll tunnel and get some gold dust

that's fallen through these floor...

How do you figure we can

dig a tunnel without being seen?

We'll dig down from

the floor in our cabin,

under the street,

and right up under here.

-A tunnel?!

-You idiot!

Why, you... Dig now. Hit him later,

lunatic.

-What the hell's happening?

-We're tunnelling under Willie's.

After that gold dust

under Willie's floor, eh?

How in the hell did you know that?

-Been thinking about it for weeks.

-Why didn't you speak up, eh?

-You dirty, lazy, drunken...

-Oh, hey!

-Lazy, am I? Damn you, Duncan!

-Shut up!

-Look, dig now. Hit him later.

-Shh! Right.

-You can hit me later.

-I'll remind you.

Don't forget. Pardner's in on this.

-Then where is he?

-He's at home.

-Doing what?

-Damn you!

Keep a civil tongue

in your mouth, or I'll...

-You can hit him later.

-Right. You can hit me later.

And I'll remind you. Dig!

Hey, Willie, you seen Ben Rumson?

Uh-uh.

-Sorry.

-Close the bloody door.

-Oh, you're digging a hole.

-You don't miss a trick, do you?

Ben?

Pardner, we got big news for you.

-You're doing what?

-We ain't stopping at Willie's.

There's 16 gambling halls,

seven hotels and 21 saloons.

Mad Jack figures

we can build tunnels under them,

honeycomb Main Street,

one end to the other.

-What do we do with all that earth?

-Give it to the meek.

-Have you gone crazy?

-He's not crazy.

There's a lot of gold dust

going through those floors.

I think there's more than a lot.

I think maybe there's

enough for the winter.

Hurry up and eat this, both of you.

Coffee will be ready in a minute.

I don't want you to be late to work.

# The earth is pure muck

# Muck's a good thing

# And oozin' with mud

# Mud is just fine

# It's drownin' in bog

# Bog is good luck

# And crawlin' with crud

# Crud's a good sign

# The poor, they got hope

# The rich can buy soap

# What rainbows ain't got a pot of

# And I ain't got a spot of

# A few feet down there's a lot of

# Just waitin' to buy

# Tobacco and rye

# From now till I die

# The best things in life are dirty

# And nothing in life is

# Better to hold than dirty gold

# The best things in life are

# Filthy, dirty hunks

of gold, gold, gold

# There's more than just gold

# Gold is enough

# That's buried below

# Beautiful gold

# There's seed in the ground

# Loveable gold

# Just waitin' to grow

# Spendable gold

# A man has his creed

# And mine is all greed

# What banks have bulgin' accounts of

# And I ain't got an ounce of

# Below there's endless amounts of

# Just dirty old trash

# That turns in a flash

# To dirty old cash... #

Uh-huh!

# The best things in life are dirty

# The worst thing in life is

# Wakin' up clean without a bean

# The best things in life are

# Filthy dirty hunks

of gold, gold, gold

# The best things in life are dirty

# The worst thing in life is

# Being content without a cent

# The best things in life are

# Filthy dirty hunks

of gold, gold, gold, gold

# Stinkin' rotten chunks

of blimey, slimy

# Lousy, lovely... #

Gold.

Hey, you bummers, over here!

I found him in the mountains.

He's half-frozen.

He says there's a wagon train

marooned up there.

Get up a rescue party!

Let's get out of these mountains

before a storm comes up. Pack up!

You've arrived at the height

of the season, Mr Fenty,

but we'll find hotel space

for the whole bloody lot of you.

If you can shake your family

and don't die,

you'll have one hell of a time.

We shouldn't take

respectable people to No Name City.

We can put up a few up at our place.

Can you take the rest?

Have you got room in your

cabin for a couple of invalids?

Ben's bringing in her husband.

Mrs Fenty, this is Mrs Rumson.

I'm Mrs Fenty's son, Horton.

This is my sister Laura Sue.

Here are some blankets.

Keep warm by the fire.

I'll take care of the children.

Your husband

is a good man, Mrs Rumson.

Yes, they are.

I said that husband

of yours is a good man.

Yes, uh, thank you, Mrs Fenty.

Don't you worry.

Those children went straight to

sleep. I'll see to Mr Fenty now.

-Thank you, Mr Rumson.

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