Pal Joey Page #6

That isn't how you got it.

Oh, l'm sorry.

l shouldn't have said it.

Maybe--

Maybe you're in love with her.

He looks a little thin.

Don't you feed him?

A lot better than you did.

He just doesn't eat.

Maybe he's getting lonely.

Don't look at me.

l'm eating fine.

Who was that?

One of the mice in the line.

- The pretty one?

- ls she? l didn't even notice.

You were certainly knee-deep

in conversation.

l was asking about my dog.

Yours? What's she doing with it?

l gave him to her when

I evacuated Mrs. Casey's rattrap.

- She lived there too?

- Yep.

Why didn't you bring him with you?

Because he wasn't yet

yacht broken.

My funny valentine

Sweet comic valentine

You make me smile

With my heart

Your looks are laughable

Unphotographable

Yet you're my favorite

Work of art

ls your figure less than Greek

Is your mouth a little weak

When you open it to speak

Are you smart

But don't change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay, little valentine

Each day

Is Valentine's Day

- When did she spring from the chorus?

- Who?

The mouse in the spotlight.

l'm beginning to talk like you.

You mean Linda?

Well, she's Ned's girl.

He's kind of stuck on her.

We talked it over

and we figured she was ready.

Ready for what?

very nice, Miss English.

lt was just wonderful,

beautiful.

Pretty good, huh, Ned?

Let's do the ""Kick lt Around'' number.

Come on, kids. Let's go.

Don't you think

she was pretty good, partner?

Not quite good enough.

She's just beginning. Give her time.

Wait till you hear this next number.

l think she'd be better off

someplace else.

Would you like to explain that?

l'll make it simple for you.

She's out.

- You want me to fire her?

- Yes, partner.

l figure it's the onIy way

to protect my investment.

l don't mean the club,

l mean you.

l think it's a stinkin' trick.

Come now, beauty.

Don't tell me you've developed

a better nature.

Come on, Snuffy.

Linda, you decent?

Just about. Come in.

l've been thinking that

you were so good in that number...

l decided to give you

something better to do.

- You did?

- A real blockbuster.

That's wonderful.

Which one?

l thought maybe

you ought to do the strip.

But Gladys does that number.

You wind up out there

with nothing on.

What do you think l am?

You're the best built mouse in the

joint, so let's take advantage of it.

l won't do it!

l'm sticking to my song.

l'm sorry, baby, but l've already

given the song to Gladys.

- l just thought you'd be pleased.

- Wait a minute.

There's something more to this.

You knew l'd say no.

You wanted me to. Why?

Your girlfriend told you

to get rid of me, didn't she?

- Look--

- Don't interrupt!

But you didn't have the guts, did you?

You wanted me to quit!

Chez Joey.

Well, that's a laugh.

Why don't you change it

to Chez vera?

What are you waiting for?

You've run your errand.

What happened to your head?

There's something you ought to know.

l didn't have to fire her. She quit.

That's the same thing.

Don't let it bother you. l'm sure she'll

have no trouble finding another job.

Sure. She can always pitch

for the New York Giants.

l want a bourbon, straight.

lsn't it a little early in the day

for a girl who doesn't drink at night?

On second thought,

make it two.

- What's with the watch bit?

- lt's getting late. Finish your drink.

What for? We got all night.

Oh, no, we haven't, beauty.

l'm giving a dinner party.

So?

Put another plate at the table.

lt would make 13,

and l'm superstitious.

Only thing l'm superstitious about

is 13 in bed.

You'll have to leave.

l guess you think maybe l don't know

what fork to use.

Well, you're right, l don't, but l

wouldn't eat with those creeps anyway.

l'll see you at the boat later.

l'll go down to the corner

and grab a hamburger.

How should l have my hamburger...

with or without onions?

Without.

You're a cinch.

What happened?

How come you didn't show?

l had to hear ""Tristan and lsolde.''

Hear him do what?

lt's an opera.

Of course.

Afterward, they all came back here

and l couldn't get out of it.

Aren't you gonna pipe me aboard?

- What was that?

- l'm listening to the late news.

Sleep tight, doll.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Man's best friend.

Or was that your mother?

I wonder what she'd say

if she could see me now.

She'd say that you were stoned.

And she'd also want to know

what you're doing in my bedroom.

l decided to take your offer.

What offer?

Strip.

Peeled.

Take it off and let it lay.

You were right.

l do have a good shape.

Confidentially...

l'm stacked.

Bet you thought l wouldn't,

didn't you?

l'll bet you even thought

that l couldn't.

But l can.

And l will.

Bewitched

Bothered

lt's all right, Snuffy.

lf l walk in my sleep,

bite me.

Well, good morning.

Oh, what's good about it?

Oh, your first hangover, huh?

Well, there's a first time

for everybody.

Why do people drink when

it feels so awful the morning after?

Maybe because it feels so good

the night before.

What did l do last night?

You kissed me.

l wasn't myself.

Yeah, but whoever you were,

you were great.

Then what?

Then you passed out.

I'm ashamed of myself.

Me too.

Why? What did you do?

Nothing.

Let's try on some breakfast.

Come on.

lt'll do you good.

Nice and easy.

Snuffy, please.

Not so loud.

- There you are.

- You cook?

You can't go through your life

on Wheaties alone.

l couldn't, Joey.

l got an idea.

lt's an old family recipe.

Hangovers run in my family.

My old man wrote the book.

l think this will

straighten you out. Go on.

Come on, Snuff.

Come on, boy. Up.

A bagel.

Something he picked up from me.

Fine pupil.

- You really don't feel well, do you?

- It's not just the hangover.

You see, where l come from...

a girl just doesn't spend the night

on a yacht and then stay for breakfast.

Of course, we don't have

any yachts.

By the way,

where do you come from?

Albuquerque.

What's wrong with Albuquerque?

For one thing,

they don't have any yachts.

Secondly, l'm surprised your mother

let you come to the big town.

Well, my mother says a nice girl's

a nice girl wherever she is.

Yeah, l know.

And a bum is a bum.

She didn't say that.

Besides, what about last night?

l made a fool out of myself,

and you didn't take advantage of it.

Don't pin any medals on me.

lt just so happens in my book

it takes two to tango.

Why are you ashamed

of your good impulses?

Maybe it's because

l don't get many.

You got a feIlow in Albuquerque?

l suppose you could caIl him that.

His name's Alfred. Works in a garage.

Grease monkey. No contest.

lt's a boat race.

He owns the garage.

Well, l better go.

Thanks for everything.

Maybe l ought to start

rehearsing that number.

You mean, now that you're sober

you still wanna do the strip number?

Was it your idea...

or was it hers?

Of course it was my idea.

l run the joint, don't l?

lt says ""Chez Joey.''

All right then, if you really want

me to do it, then l'Il do it.

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