Palm Springs Weekend Page #2

Jane- Gail Lewis.

Where you from, Gail?

My parents live in Beverly Hills.

I'm just home on a vacation.

I'm a junior at the University of Hawaii.

Oh, do you do much surfing there?

- Of course, all the time.

- Mm-hm.

Hold it. You're in training, remember?

I'll get rid of them.

Hi, coach.

- Hi.

- Hi, coach. How you doing?

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.

Hi. Hi, guys.

- Hi, coach.

Nice day.

Howdy.

Well, hi.

Hey, cowboy, that thing give milk?

Never tried to find out.

What's it doing out of the pasture?

Don't sell her short, buddy.

There's a lot of life left

in this little old dogie.

Well, now, what do you say

we give her a try?

Oh, no. I'm too young to die.

Besides, I don't plan to kill myself

out here on the highway.

Well, bless my soul.

Get along, little dogie.

Thanks for the lift.

Here, take these inside. Wait a minute.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- You like going fast, don't you?

- You didn't have to run him off the road.

- He might have gotten hurt.

- Aw, wait a minute.

When am I gonna see you again?

I don't know. I'll be here all week.

Well, let's have lunch at the Riviera, huh?

The Riviera?

Well, what's wrong with that?

Nothing.

Okay, I'll pick you up at noon.

All right.

Aloha.

- Do I pay you now?

- Later is okay.

Haven't got any liquor or firearms

in your luggage, have you?

- No.

- Hacksaws?

Hacksaws?

Last year a roomful of girls

sawed a hole in the floor.

That's a weird thing to do.

Wasn't weird at all.

Right below them was a roomful of boys.

Can't fight nature, I guess.

Room 204.

House rules are on back of the closet door,

but I've got two special ones:

Number one, you come in here

with liquor on your breath...

...and I'll throw you out on your rudder.

Number two...

...no cross-pollination

with members of the opposite sex.

Oh, and I'll send you up a roommate.

I won't expect too much,

but do the best you can.

- Hello.

- Oh, you're a young one.

I'm 21. Would you like

to see my driver's license?

Please, every Easter this town is filled

with 21-year-old teenagers.

Did you come about the job

or do you want a room?

I'd like a room, please.

I have one bed left in a double room.

Twelve dollars a day.

Oh, um...

Too steep for you?

Well, do you have anything

less expensive?

I'm sorry.

Thanks anyway.

Honey, you won't find anything cheaper.

- I won't?

- Come here.

Maybe we can work something out.

I've been trying to get a babysitter

for my son this week.

Interested?

In babysitting?

Well, it's free room and board.

If you want the job.

It must be fate.

I'll take it.

Room 204, up the stairs.

Oh, and don't forget your luggage.

Now, you get all settled

while I round up the little monster.

Oh, he couldn't be that bad.

That's what I keep saying,

but he always makes a liar out of me.

- Thanks.

- Uh-huh.

Howdy.

Well, hi. You're all right.

Oh, I'm fine.

Here, let me give you a hand.

Thank you. What are you doing here?

Well, I figured on staying here.

Well, now that's a coincidence.

Not really.

I reckon if it's good enough for you,

it's good enough for me.

My room's upstairs.

Well, lead on.

All right.

You know, that husband of yours

sure drives like a Texas twister.

Don't be silly. I'm not married.

Well, then that boyfriend, then.

That was not my boyfriend

driving the car.

Well, now, don't tell me you're keeping

company with that long-eared fuzzy one?

I'm not keeping company with anyone.

Sure enough? Well, that's fine.

Oh, my name's Doug Fortune.

Friends call me Stretch.

How do you do, Stretch?

My name is Gail Lewis.

- Pleasure.

- Mm-hm.

Say, you're a long way from home,

aren't you?

No, ma'am. I'm from Hollywood.

- With that accent?

- Well, I've lost most of my accent.

Folks back in Harmony

can hardly understand me anymore.

- Harmony?

- Harmony, Texas.

- And you probably never heard of it.

- No.

Well, it's not very big.

A feller once said it's so small

that the city-limit signs are back to back.

- That's very funny.

- We laugh about it quite a bit too.

Of course,

nobody talks to that feller anymore.

We're kind of proud of Harmony.

Do you work in Hollywood?

Well, I'm in the movie business.

Really? What do you do?

Get killed, mostly. I'm a stuntman.

You silly. 204, here I am.

Here. Allow me.

Well, hello there.

Isn't this a swinging place?

- Beg your pardon, ma'am?

- Oh, no need to apologize.

Just step right in, sonny.

I appreciate the thought, ma'am,

but this here's your roommate.

- Miss Gail Lewis.

- Oh.

Hi, Gail. Amanda North.

Hi.

- Thanks, Stretch.

- Sure.

See you later, huh?

Yep.

Oh, what a rotten shame.

That cowboy yours?

Well, I'll have to think about it.

You mean, you've got a choice?

Yes, sort of.

- Oh, well, that figures.

- Hm?

Well, look at you.

You're just what they want.

Where's your fella?

That's what I keep shouting.

Where's my fella?

"Forget it!"

Come in.

This is Boom-Boom.

It bites, hits, spits and swears.

Oh, but you're only to hit back

in self-defense.

Now, shake hands and come out fighting.

My last sitter had a nervous breakdown.

Oh?

Sitter?

Well, it was the only way I could

swing the price of the room, you know?

Hey, give me that.

Stop! Or I'll disintegrate you.

Give that back.

Okay.

Let's be friends.

You win.

No hard feelings, huh?

No.

Hey, take it easy. I'm just a kid.

Never tangle with a girl

who knows judo, buster.

Wow! Will you teach me judo?

Are you gonna behave yourself?

For you, I guess I'll have to.

And what about me?

You haven't got a chance.

For this, I have to pass up a lunch date

at the Riviera.

Oh, go on, keep your date.

I'll watch the evil one.

No, I couldn't let you do that.

Oh, forget it. I've got a motive.

I'm not gonna hook a man

till all you dreamboats are taken.

- Really? You'll do it?

- Mm-hm.

Thanks. You're a doll.

Spread the word around.

Okay.

Ugh.

Let's go, Boom-Boom.

What do you do for kicks?

Come on down to my room

and I'll show you my model trains.

Are you sure you're only 9 years old?

Let's go.

Look, fellas.

Let's make a run for it.

- Okay, okay, hold it.

Hold it.

All right, come on back, you guys.

No use you guys overdoing it.

It's all right.

It's only 10 blocks from the bus depot.

Hey, how about a few times

around the motel before we check in?

No, no, no.

No, you guys look like

you've had enough.

In fact, you're starting to look

kind of fuzzy.

- You okay, coach?

- Oh, great.

Great. It's the thin mountain air.

But, coach, we're below sea level.

Who asked you?

Hup, one, two.

Hup, hup, two.

Hup, inside.

Well, look at that.

Good afternoon.

Hey, what do you think this is,

a flophouse?

Get your feet off of the furniture.

And stop playing ball in the lobby.

Good afternoon, madam.

What do you want?

And don't call me madam.

We have reservations.

Do they all belong to you?

Well, you might say

that I made them what they are today.

Yeah! Yeah!

Hold it.

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