Paranoia Tapes Page #3

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I don't know who I was.

I said some bad things and

I shouldn't have said it.

There, that's your apology.

I'm sorry,

all right.

Hmm.

You like that camera on me don't you?

Yeah.

Well, since we have it on you,

why don't you explain to the

world why your hair's blue?

Sorry, it looks great Marge,

I'm sure Homer's gonna

jump in the sack with you

and tear your blue hair all over.

It matches my eyes, okay?

And your car apparently.

Your smurfmobile.

Was that your car in the driveway?

Yeah.

So what's your

favorite color Ronny boy?

F***ing blue, all

right, anyways.

Attitude.

Look there's another reason

why I did bring you guys

over here.

Oh, oh, I know,

you wanted to tell us

about your creep ways, huh?

I know you're that peeping

Tom staring at your

next door neighbors through the windows,

filming 'em?

No, I just have a fat

neighbor with glasses

who thinks he's the god of

film and everything else.

Dude, you have

something against f***ing

fat people with f***ing

glasses, huh, f***er?

No, no, I don't.

But I'm just saying, I mean, I.

Not to break

up your guys's stimulating

conversation, but one

you're actual neighbor,

the fat guy with long hair and glasses,

actually pretty cool.

And we're technically two doors down, so,

don't be a f***ing creep

and getting us in the shower

or anything else.

Look, just 'cause I

almost tried one time

doesn't mean you guys have

to bring it up every time.

F***ing knew it.

Liar.

He's gonna put that

bullshit on the internet.

Sister.

F***ing, I'll tell my dad.

Well,

We're gonna tell our mom.

That's worse, right?

Mom will f***ing have your ass.

Anyways, um, no, my dad's been missing

for a couple days.

- Aliens?

- Aliens yeah.

Blair!

What?

No.

What makes

you think he's missing?

Well, he was on a,

he's been working on

this case at work, okay?

And he's been consumed

with it and one night,

he didn't come in.

Nothing, nothing, he just didn't come in.

And I went to the strip clubs

in case you're wondering,

okay, and I went,

I woulda seen him.

You would have, wouldn't you?

Probably gave your dad a

little lap dance there buddy.

Wow.

I'm just kidding.

- Did he at least tip or?

- Creepster.

Look,

On.

Look, I have some

stuff I found in his room

and I need your guys's help, so yeah.

Just stay right here, I'm gonna go get it.

All right, is that fine?

Am I gonna have any more

attitude with you two?

Just go and get it.

You're so uptight.

Yeah.

Say hi to the camera.

Hello.

We're waiting right now for Ronny boy,

he's going to get his f***ing porn stash.

Probably.

It's gay porn, I know it.

Probably.

All right.

Hey Skaggs, I

made mac, come on in and eat.

Hey whatcha working on?

Huh? Whatcha working on?

Pipe bomb.

Okay.

I made mac, come on in and eat.

Why you filming all this?

Well, I figure like

this, we record what we do

during the day, and once

there's a full tape,

we send it to Mom so she can watch it.

It's almost like Mom was hear with us.

It's almost like the camera

is Mamma, sitting there

having mac with us.

Mamma's dead Buster.

It's just us now.

Understand?

I understand.

Ain't nobody else.

Just me and you.

And it's up to us, listen to me Buster,

it's up to us to make

things right, ya understand?

I understand.

And there ain't no tape in that camera,

so don't go digging around

in there with a screw driver

trying to find one, you'll break it.

I don't get

why we're doing all this.

Seems like a lot of trouble.

I told you, we've been wronged.

Hey, I remember that backpack.

It's the one I used to

use after we got back

from Iraq.

Remember that Skaggs?

Yep, I remember.

Man, it seems like forever ago.

I remember we were in the

unemployment office all the time

and I carried all the paperwork

and stuff in that bag.

Used to keep your books in there.

Remember that cookbook you

used to sit and read?

That was funny.

The Anarchist cook book?

Yeah, I remember.

That's a funny title.

You know what, keep filming bro.

We're gonna put this up on the internet

when we get to Bogota.

You got a stand for that thing?

You mean a tripod?

Yeah, yeah.

Is that thing on?

Yeah.

Good.

Okay, here's the thing.

Here's why we did it.

The government, our

government, sent us over seas

to kill strangers.

But we volunteered Skaggs.

That don't matter.

Killing people is not

what we signed up for.

Getting half the meat on

my leg burned off by an IED

is not what I signed up for.

And then we come home.

They don't wanna help

with the medical bills.

Or finding a job.

That ain't right.

They owe me.

That's right bro.

You're goddamn right that's right.

What about Mamma?

When Mamma got sick,

they pulled her Medicare.

And she died.

She died in a filthy

bed, in horrible pain,

with me holding her hand.

And it's the government's fault.

They owe me, they owe us.

And they're gonna pay.

They're gonna pay today.

Preach on, brother.

Get the camera.

You be careful with that bag.

I'm no bomb expert, but I

don't think it would take

a whole hell of a lot

to set that thing off.

Okay.

Do you know where this place is?

Yeah, Federal

building right up the street.

We'll put that at the entrance,

call the cell phone detonator

from a few blocks away,

watch the fireworks and we'll be long gone

by the time they figure out it was us.

You know, you're pretty smart Skaggs.

I bet it's 'cause you read a lot.

You know, you should be a scientist.

I bet you'd be a number one

scientist in the whole world.

And you'd by my

number two scientist, bro.

Look at these kids.

They don't have a clue what

the real world's all about.

Living in a cess pool run

by evil little cockroaches.

All they wanna do is run the streets

and laugh like there ain't no problems.

Yeah, idiots.

Yes sir, yes sir.

Knock out game.

This our game, mother f***er.

Get your ass down.

Mother f***er.

F*** you!

Skaggs!

Skaggs, you okay?

Knock out?

Knockout game, are you kidding me?

You hurt my brother!

You owe me!

You owe us!

- Knock out game!

- Buster no!

What's up boys and girls.

It's the twisted freak.

It was such a rainy, beautiful day.

I decided to come out in my shop

and have a little fun.

Let the madness take

me for a little while.

There was so much blood.

Hey psychopath, we get

bad names like we're crazy

or we're insane.

I don't think so.

We are what makes the world go round.

'Cause without us, life would be boring.

So, think we'd come out and kill a few.

Reduce the population

of idiots in the world.

I'm sorry Vixen ain't here today.

She had something to do,

but she told me what I needed to do before

she left for the day.

She said, "Twisted, this

face doesn't suit you.

"This does not suit the

twisted freak." She said.

We must show the world how

sick and twisted you can look.

So I did what she said this morning.

No more damaged.

I'm just a twisted freak.

Here to show you the way.

And now I have a smile on my face.

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