![Find Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years of Monty Python on Amazon](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTkzNDA5MTA5MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzMzOTk1MDE@._V1_SX300.jpg)
Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years of Monty Python Page #7
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 1989
- 72 min
- 192 Views
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Right! If that's
the way you want it.
Cardinal, poke her
with the soft cushions.
Ha! Ha ha!
Confess!
Confess!
Confess!
They don't seem
to be hurting her.
Have you got all the stuffing
up on end?
Yes, lord.
Hmm, she's made of harder stuff.
Cardinal Fang,
fetch the comfy chair.
[jarring chord]
The comfy chair?
Yes.
Heh heh heh heh.
Heh heh heh heh.
Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
So, you think you're strong
because you can survive
the soft cushions.
Well, we shall see.
Biggles, put her
in the comfy chair!
Now,
You will stay in the comfy
Chair until lunchtime,
with only a cup of coffee
at 11:
00.Is that really all it is?
Yes, lord.
I see. I suppose
we make it worse
by shouting a lot, do we?
Confess, woman.
Confess.
Confess!
Confess!
Confess!
I confess.
Not you!
And then...
Oh, Victor.
Oh, Iris.
[doorbell rings]
Who can that be?
Well, you try
and get rid of them.
Yes, I will.
Won't be a moment.
Hello.
Hello?
Remember me?
Uh, no.
In the pub, the tall thin one
with a moustache, remember?
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
It's dark in here.
You said we must
have a drink sometime.
So I thought
I'd take you up on it.
It is a little awkward
this evening.
Hello, I'm Arthur--
Arthur Name.
Name by name
but not by nature.
I always say that,
don't I, Vicky boy?
Really?
Is that your wife?
No, actually.
Oh, I get the picture.
Vicky boy.
I know all about
one-night stands.
I beg your pardon?
Mind if I change the record?
We put that on.
I heard a good one in the pub.
What's brown and
sounds like a bell?
I beg your pardon?
What's brown and
sounds like a bell?
# dung #
That's a good one.
I like that one.
I won't keep you long.
[Washington Post March plays]
Oh, that's better.
I'll wait here till
you're finished.
[doorbell rings]
Who the hell's that?
It'll be friends of mine.
I invited them along.
We were hoping to have
They won't mind.
They're very broad-minded.
Hello.
Good evening.
Good evening. My name's Equator--
Brian Equator.
the earth, only with an "L."
This is my wife Audrey.
She smells a bit,
but she has a heart of gold.
There must be a misunderstanding.
This is--
Who's the bird?
Well, I--I--
You got a nice pair,
haven't you, love?
Ohh!
Aah!
Aah!
Shut up, you silly b*tch.
Now, look here.
I've--
A pink gin, please.
I'll get it.
Beans for me, please.
Lay off the beans, you whore!
I only want three cans!
Button your lip, you rat bag!
That was rather witty, wasn't it?
Where's my gin?
[doorbell rings]
Who the hell's that?
I took the liberty
of inviting an old friend.
As his wife's
just passed away,
he's somewhat distraught,
poor chap.
Hope you don't mind.
Come on in.
My god, what a simply
ghastly place.
Not too good, is it?
A pint of crme de menthe
for my friend.
Well, how are you, you great poof?
A bit lumpy.
Ah, no wonder.
I was sitting on the cat.
Ohhh!
gorgeous little man
I picked up at the Odeon.
Is he sexy, then?
Oh, hello.
I had to bring the goat.
He's not well.
I only hope he don't
go on the carpet.
Come on there, love.
Drop 'em.
Aah!
Aaaahhh!
Blimey, she don't
go much, do she?
Oh, I wet 'em.
Oh! The goat's
just done a bundle.
[all talk at once]
Get out, all of you.
Go on, get out!
Get out!
I beg your pardon?
I'm not having my house
filled with perverts.
I'm giving just half a minute,
then I'm calling the police.
I don't like
the tone of your voice.
Aah!
Right. Let's have a ding dong.
Monty Python's Flying Circus.
[saxophone plays]
Good evening.
I have with me in the studio
one of the country's
leading skin specialists--
Raymond Luxury Yacht.
That's not my name.
I'm sorry.
Raymond Luxury Yach-t.
No, no. It's spelled
Raymond Luxury Yach-t,
but it's pronounced
Throatwobbler Mangrove.
You're a very silly man,
and I'm not going
to interview you.
Ah!
Anti-semitism.
Not at all.
It's not even a proper nose.
It's polystyrene.
Give it back.
Collect it at reception.
Go away.
I want to be on television.
[grinding gears]
A cassette tape recorder
is to replace the salon
quartets and trios
which have played...
[grinding gears]
...Which will be relayed
over a new public address system,
Replacing one which
relayed both music and...
[knocking]
rose 3.7 points to 476.5.
[drilling]
[drilling]
The BBC has reported
that radio 37 was marking
the first birthday
of the BBC's Southampton...
Hey, ray!
Turn that television off.
You know it's bad for your eyes.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
That was fun! That was fun!
So, there you have it.
The best of Monty Python.
Hmm.
Where are they now?
Well, they're here
in this cupboard.
Sad, isn't it?
Good night.
[Michael Palin]
Uh, Steve.
Steve, can you leave
the door open, please,
so they can see us?
It's the whole point.
Reunion.
See us all again.
[John Cleese]
Steve Martin,
come back and open the door.
You bastard.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years of Monty Python" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/parrot_sketch_not_included:_twenty_years_of_monty_python_15621>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In