Party Games for Adults Only Page #6

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Europe is here to stay.

we don't have to bow the knee to every directive

from every little bureaucratic Bonaparte in Brussels.

We are a sovereign nation still.

We are British and proud of it!

We made enough concessions to the Commissar for Agriculture.

When I say Commissar, I use the word advisedly.

We've swallowed the wine lake and the butter mountain,

we've watched our French friends beating up British drivers

carrying British lamb to the French.

We have bowed and scraped, doffed our caps,

Turned the other cheek, but I say enough is enough!

The Europeans are now threatening the British sausage.

They want to standardise it

they'll force us to eat salami and bratwurst

and other garlic-ridden greasy foods that are

totally alien to the British way of life.

Do you want salami for breakfast with your egg and bacon?

I don't! I won't!

They've turned our pints into litres and our yards into metres.

We gave up the tanner, the threepenny bit

the two-bob piece and the half crown,

but they cannot and WILL not destroy the British sausage.

Not while I'm here!

In the words of Martin Luther, here I stand. I can do no more.

Strong stuff, Minister. I feel strongly about it.

I sometimes wonder whether you media people

realise how strongly we others feel

about Britain, about our country.

We love it and we're proud of it.

You're at odds with government policy over the EEC?

I'm very happy with government policy, Sir Ludovic.

But it's never been policy to abolish the British sausage.

Sausages are full of top-quality nourishment.

Brussels denies wanting to abolish the British sausage.

They would. They know what they're up against

They know the strength of British opinion.

Your speech got a lot of coverage and a lot of praise.

Was there any significance in the timing? Sorry?

Your party is looking for leader, your name's been mentioned

Oh. Quite a lot, I believe.

But no, I've no ambitions at all in that direction.

So you definitely won't let your name go forward?

Well, Ludo... All I've...

All I wanted to do is serve my country, never sought office.

But if my colleagues persuaded me

the best place to serve it from was 10 Downing Street,

I reluctantly be persuaded to undertake the responsibility

whatever my own private wishes might be.

If you're not in the running, who will you vote for?

Well, it's far too early to say. But I will say this.

This is a time for healing.

A time to stress what we agree about

We should be looking for the good in our opponents

There's good in everyone, you know, Ludo.

Except the French! Except...

Even the French.

A message came from House while you were in committee.

Yes?

They brought the party meeting forward.

Brought it forward?

They'll decide if they're going to bring up another candidate

The Chief Whip will phone as soon as it's over.

W-W-Will he... W-What will they... What if...

Which phone?

What? Which phone will he ring on?

Oh. Er, this one, probably.

Or this one.

Either, really.

If Duncan and Eric withdraw, which they will,

they might not support me.

That means an election.

You're the favourite candidate for both sides,

so you'll be unopposed. That's what they say.

Oh, well... No point in worrying about it.

Might as well sit down and relax. (PHONE RINGS)

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Bernard has an urgent message.

Minister, the Palace have been on the phone.

Will you be free to kiss hands at five o'clock?

In the event of an unopposed recommendation.

Well, I...

I think I might be able to make that.

Bernard...

Supposing... You know if I...

I'd still want a Principal Private Secretary.

Do you think, er... Oh, Minister.

Gosh!

That'll be all right, won't it, Humphrey? Well...

The Prime Minister's word is law.

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, he's here.

I'll tell him.

It... It... It... Is...

Is it me?

Yes, Prime Minister!

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