Pat and Mike Page #3

- But what's the good of this?

- I mean, after all, we...

- Board!

Have to have time

to think it over, is all.

Well, just see that you don't

think it under.

It's a nice long ride.

Just take your time.

That's right.

- And I'm not going to take it.

- Hey!

- I can't, that's all.

- Can't what?

Go back. Not this way.

What's there to go back to?

Don't you think you're just being...?

I've got to prove to you, to myself...

Lend me some money, will you?

- Prove to both of us,

in fact, everybody...

...that I'm not just a big...

- Say, Pat.

Pat, wait a second, will you?

I'm coming along too.

- No, please don't.

- You can't get off now, lady.

Watch me.

Ruby, let me get

a word in edgeways, will you?

Ruby, win, lose or draw...

...when did Hucko

ever not give you action?

Now, you know yourself

as well as I know myself...

...that that's what they pay for,

is action.

Yeah, Rub.

Even when he gets flattened,

he does it noisy, don't he?

Right. Let me know, huh, Ruby?

Right, boy, bye.

- What did you weigh today?

- Ninety-eight. Up 2.

- Why up 2? Did you eat extra?

- No, no, honest.

Let him talk himself, will you?

- No, no, honest.

- What's the matter with you?

- Where's the control?

- I thought it could be he's still growing.

You'll be growing in Central Park,

the two of youse...

...if you don't watch out.

- Have another beer?

- No thanks, no more.

- You see that?

- Davie, what are you doing to me?

- Nervous, thirsty.

- Water.

Did you ever hear of water?

Well, why don't you drink water?

- Ashamed.

- You're what?

Nervous, thirsty.

I go in the place.

I'm ashamed to ask for free water.

Took one beer.

Yeah.

- Did you like it?

- Yeah.

- What?

- No.

Well, Hucko, I guess it's time to ask you

the three questions, ain't it?

Are you ready?

- Who made you, Hucko?

- You.

- Who owns the biggest piece of you?

- You.

What will happen if I drop you?

- I go right down the drain, Mike.

- And?

- And stay there.

- Who made you?

- You, Mike.

- Who owns you?

- You.

- Lf I drop you?

- Go right down the drain, Mike.

- And?

- And stay there.

- Take him back to the gym.

- We just come from.

- Go on back from.

And don't let him out

until he's back to 96 even.

He's liable to go on Friday. We can't

have him overweight. Get going.

I'll shake it when

it don't weigh so much.

We ought to enter him

in the sixth race next Saturday...

...if Little Nell's leg don't unstiffen.

What are you, a comedian?

An agent down the hall handles them.

- What about that leg?

- Loosening by the minute.

- What about her starts?

- Too slow.

- I think she feels depressed.

- She feels depressed, huh?

She's gonna feel

a good boring of a needle...

...if she don't get going,

I'll tell you that.

I'm getting...

Oh, no.

Come in. Well, well, who'd...?

Swing her around

and phone me the time. Goodbye.

- Sit down.

- Well, hello. Who'd have believed this?

- Well, I'm upside down with surprise.

- Why?

What can I do for you?

- Well, I came to ask you.

- Me? What?

- What you can do for me.

- What'd you have in mind?

Well, you said something

about a bushel basket.

Oh, yes, sure, I remember.

Well...

Well, now, let's start off

with a few statistics or two.

How much would you say

the people in the U.S. A...

...spend on sports a year,

total amount?

No idea.

- Surprise you if I said 150 million?

- Yes.

Well, it's 300 million.

And some of it belongs to us by rights.

- How do you like that?

- My.

You see, it's all built up

around personalities, see...

...which I figure you may be one of.

I can't be sure of that, but the way

things look to me, I think so.

- All right.

- Now, of course, what you need is:

A, a manager.

B, a promoter.

- And that's me, A and B.

- All right.

The first thing, you would

have to turn pro. Is that okay?

- Okay. Okay. My...?

- All right with your husband?

Mrs. Pat Pemberton,

ain't that how they introduced you?

- I'm a widow.

- What kind? Merry?

Settle down, will you?

All right, so now you're a pro.

Of course, we gotta go out

and find the competitions.

Trouble is, this time of the year,

they're far in between.

Aren't there other things?

I mean, not golf.

- What do you mean, other things?

- Other sports?

- You do other sports?

- I've only played golf for a year or so.

- That's all?

- Yes, my beau asked me to take it up.

What is this beau deal?

What's that?

If we're gonna be partners, I'd kind of

like to know what the layout is.

- Where is your beau?

- California.

- Live there? Work there?

- Pacific Tech.

Oh, this is all right with him?

This whole switch.

- No. That is, yes, yes.

- Wait a minute, don't go so fast.

You see, if we're partners,

we'd be on kind of a schedule.

I don't know how often

or how many times...

...we could get

to be around California.

That would be all right,

for the moment.

Yeah.

I see.

Now, what other sports?

Well, tennis.

That's number one.

I'm really good at that.

- You're better than with the sticks?

- Oh, yes. Much.

And then, of course,

the usual shooting.

- Shoot?

- Well, you know.

Skeet, range and some archery.

- Say, you're...

- Ice hockey, basketball...

...and a little baseball.

- Where did you play baseball?

Pacific Tech.

I was there several years.

What's the matter?

You couldn't pass?

No. I was faculty.

That's like a teacher.

Well, ain't it?

You're not, by some chance, a boxer?

Just 16-ounce gloves, I'm afraid.

- Eights have a tendency to...

- That's all, honey. That's all.

Say no more.

Of course, there's always a chance that

you could be an escaped fruitcake.

But if there is something, as a matter

of fact, anything in what you say...

...I am going to promote you

into the king of the world.

Queen, I mean. Let's go.

Would you like to see me

serve a few, Mr. Conovan?

Oh, no, no. Just hit a couple.

- Got to be notary public, don't it?

- Take care of that, don't worry.

We ought to have a glass for luck.

What do you mean, a glass for luck?

What am I, some kind

of an acey-deucey gambler?

Us two bumping into each other,

that's all the luck any man deserves.

From now on, it's hard work

and promotion and so forth.

- And promotion.

- Okay, I'll get these back to you.

- And yours too, miss.

- Thank you.

- So let's go.

- I'd like a martini, please. Very, very dry.

- Very, very nothing. Cancel that.

- What?

- Beer, beer.

- Beer, beer.

- Corned beef, Swiss on rye.

- Corned beef.

- I'll have beef stew.

- Same.

- And for the lady?

- Oh, a small steak, rare.

- Medium.

- Rare, rare, rare...

...and a baked potato

and some spinach.

- Coffee?

- Yeah, yeah, coffee.

- Yes, please, large.

- No, no, milk.

- Please, will you, I'm a busy man.

- Two coffees and one milk.

Everybody keeps having to change

one another's minds.

Took a whole half an hour for one...

Could be here for...

- What's the matter?

- Who's talking to you?

- Who, then?

- Myself. Mind if I talk to myself?

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